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mediation divorce now changed mind

(4 Posts)
mrsworsinger Wed 05-Oct-11 20:20:21

AM in a sticky divorce situation. Have been in relationship with DH for 12 years emotional verbal abuse unreasonable behaviour, cannabis = relationship breakdown. We have three DC. Instructed solicitor in divorce proceedings legal aid required have no money or income sahm. DH said he would never divorce or leave house so divorce was to go to court. DH now got legal advice on receipt of draft divorce petition. Told me I could have divorce if I dropped all reference to cannabis and went for mediation. Spoke to solicitor who said I had enough grounds with mention of cannabis so should mediate for sake of children. TOld DH this afternoon immediate reaction he had failed his bike test today because he cant concentrate on anything he cant cope he is having anger management and counselling and divorce is too much so I should hold off. He will mediate but when he is ready. I said no i would sort out mediation tomorrow as he had offered amicable divorce if no cannabis involved. He now says I am uncompassionate and i get angry and he will say all of this in his divorce petition. I have emailed solicitor tonight with all of this saying I no longer want to mediate and want to go to court but she said earlier in the day that if mediation was on the table and i did not accept i would lose public funding? Does this mean i would lose legal aid i dont know. I dont want to mediate with this man and I do want to use cannabis in the petition because i have tried to compromise and it has got me nowhere, He says he will go to doctor to get some sort of order to delay divorce, can he do this is this because without the mention of cannabis he can claim some sort of mental abuse.... what should i do

sneezecakesmum Wed 05-Oct-11 22:06:43

If you are getting legal aid you will almost certainly have to go to mediation. Most legally aided cases go to medication. If not, and you pay the costs you will probably have to anyway unless there are things like domestic violence involved. DV is also a reason for legally aided cases not to mediate.

I've never heard of a doctor getting involved in delaying a divorce as such, in the way you describe.

nocake Thu 06-Oct-11 13:25:33

The grounds for divorce does not matter in most cases so if you have enough for the divorce petition without mentioning his cannabis use then why not do that, if it will encourage him to mediate? If you don't mediate then it will cost you a lot in legal costs (speaking from experience) and although you have legal aid you will have to pay back some of it from whatever assets you get in the divorce.

cestlavielife Thu 06-Oct-11 15:41:10

my exP got GP letters to try to delay court case on grounds of his depression/anxiety etc - judge was not interested.

let him produce whatever he likes from GP and bring to mediator.
GP cannot order anything. only judge can .

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