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Separating: Can ExP stop me going on holiday with DD?

(8 Posts)
Iamamesswhy Sun 02-Oct-11 17:30:11

I have just told ExP that I want to go on holiday for 1 week with DD and he has told me NO.

We separated 5 months ago but we have not reached a separation agreement yet. My last proposal (he has not answer if he accepts my proposal) said that he was entitled to 3 weeks holiday with DD in summer and me another 3 weeks. He has already gone twice on holiday with her and I have not gone at all. He bases his answer saying that a month before we separeted I went two weeks away to visit my family abroad and that were the holidays I was entitled to. This time we are staying in England. Do I need his consent? DD lives with me so I am her main carer.

Please help I want to buy the tickets now and I am not sure what I should do. Thanks

STIDW Sun 02-Oct-11 18:47:21

Strictly speaking neither parent requires consent to go on holiday in the UK in "their" time but in the interest of harmony it is much better if you can negotiate agreement about contact including holidays before you go. If agreement can't be reached between you mediation could help.

Parents aren't "entitled" to anything. Parental Responsibility means both parents have equal responsibility for children and rights to carry out those responsibilities. It is the right of children to maintain a meaningful relationship with both parents in all but the most exceptional circumstances and decisions relating to children should be made in interests of their welfare. Children relaxing and enjoying the usual week or fortnights family holiday with a parent once or twice a year time is usually in the best interests of the child.

Iamamesswhy Sun 02-Oct-11 20:28:10

He has already declined mediation once just after we separated and we have been referred back to mediation and I am not sure if he will come. It is very difficult to agree anything with him. He is the kind of person that will not compromise. So it is difficult to reach any agreement.

I know it is better to negotiate and I would love to be able to do that but it does not seem possible at the moment, maybe with time who knows!!!!

I just want to know if he has an rights to stop me going and what he can legally do to stop me going if he does not give me consent. It has ben very difficult months and my friends are paying for us to go and I really need to go away even for a week and have a nice time with my DD and friends who also have children

STIDW Sun 02-Oct-11 22:14:13

Having PR means you can act unilaterally when the children are in your care unless you are taking the children out of the country, changing a child's name, or making important decisions related to a child's health or education. An alternative to mediation is negotiation through solicitors and a solicitor's letter might prompt your ex-partner to seek legal advice which might not be a bad thing.

It is reasonable to let the other parent know when the children are on holiday, the travel arrangements, where the children are staying and offer alternatives for any missed contact. If the other parent doesn't agree with the arrangements it is then up to them to apply to court for a specific issue order or prohibited steps order. Unless there a history of not complying with a contact order and the school has authorised any absence from school the courts won't prevent children going on family holidays once or twice a year and are likely to give a parent short shrift for unreasonably trying to stop them.

Iamamesswhy Mon 03-Oct-11 11:56:17

Thanks STIDW. I will call my solicitor this afternoon and explain what is happening and see wha I can do.

It just seems to me that he is te one entittled to holidays and I am the one stuckin the house with DD without having a chance to enjoy. Lat night he texted me saying that he will be taking DD again on holiday confused

prh47bridge Mon 03-Oct-11 16:30:56

He is being unreasonable. You are both in the same position, although it may not feel like that to you at the moment. You cannot take your daughter out of the country unless you have his consent. He cannot take your daughter out of the country unless he has your consent. In the absence of any court orders neither of you needs the consent of the other to take children on holiday within the country. So you are free to take your daughter on holiday in England without his consent.

If he still objects to you taking this holiday I would simply book the tickets and tell him you are going. He could try to get a court order to stop you but, in the absence of other issues, he is highly unlikely to succeed.

GypsyMoth Mon 03-Oct-11 16:33:39

How old is your dd?

Iamamesswhy Mon 03-Oct-11 23:21:36

DD is 2.3 years old.

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