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confused

(5 Posts)
petersham Fri 23-Sep-11 22:59:14

Hello
I have posted a few times about my exDH. He has been calling Social Services practically every day from where he is living abroad; desperately trying to discredit me as a mother.

He does not have my number (I changed it) but has been harrassing my parents with calls and emails. Today he sent my father an email out of the blue saying something completely nonsensical along the lines of "I know you have alleged sexual abuse against my son..you are sick..I have take legal advice regarding this...". My father has done no such thing and is obviously old and suffering from poor health and very shaken by this.

I pleaded with my parents to stop taking his calls/ change their number but they insisted that their involvement would keep things civil and now he has landed them in it, so to speak. I am really worried for their health and the fact that this loose cannon is capable of spouting all sorts of nonsense to social services. He keeps asking to speak to DCs ALONE WITH NOONE ELSE PRESENT. He is a bully and manipulative - am I obliged to grant this?

My LA solicitor said that I would NOT get any orders against him despite his physical attacks on DS and DV towards myself off and on. I am feeling vulnerable - seeing new solicitor next week - it cant be right, surely? Also SS have told him the name of the school where DC has been awarded a place - I don't really know why they did this but without any orders, I am left feeling even more afraid of leaving them there. Is this standard practice?

He sent another threatening email to my parents referring to the sale of the house. We always suspected that this was his primary motivation but how much is he likely to get - fact is that it is my property, owned outright except for a small personal loan from my mother outstanding, I have made all repayments and paid all bills by direct debit. He put down a wooden floor and a tiled one - he was paid for this by my father but he seems to think that will afford him some capital. He earned nothing practically and never contributed any of this - used to buy the odd bag of food etc was otherwise kept, abusive, depressive...

floatyjosmum Sun 25-Sep-11 20:03:37

im not sure about the house situation etc but...

In relation to knowign the school, as he is your exh he will have pr and will therefore have the right to know this,

youve mentioned orders against him, not sure what you really mean.

how old is your child? it may be more than acceptable for you to be there when they speak n the phone.

my advice would be to stop contact if sols cant agree and then let him apply for it ... he will get it but then at least its agreed if done via the court or mediation.

mumblechum1 Mon 26-Sep-11 02:52:45

How old is your son, and are you prepared to let the two of them have any contact at all (eg indirect contact through letters, cards, phone calls etc)? Obv. this will depend on how old your ds is.

Collaborate Mon 26-Sep-11 09:38:19

Tell us when you divroced. If he waits too long to bring a financial claim there's an authority to say that his claim would be reduced or extinguished.

petersham Mon 26-Sep-11 10:03:27

thanks for replying - we are not divorced, only separated, not sure which order to do things in. Ofc ourse indirect contact would be preferred or on DCs terms. the intimidation has carried on via threats in letters and emails this weekend. He seems more interested in getting his hands on my independentally generated money rather than in the DCs feelings.

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