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Partner wants full custody of DS...

(16 Posts)
Sweeethome Sun 04-Sep-11 13:52:25

My story is very long and complicated,(Sorry about my grammar)Long story short,after reporting my partner for domestic violence, im trying to split from him..because we could not work things out,and he seems to be very angry all the time,he is not willing to sort out the matter as an adult (hes 26,but didnt grow up in his brain) So..i had to report him, but since im back home and he is been released..hes been threating me, and says he will try to get custody of my son. All i want to do ,its get custody of my son,since my partner is becoming more and more violent and went back on taking drugs. Im from south america so,i just want to go back since my visa has runned out ,all i want is to do the right thing.The social worker is being visiting our flat,to ask about our situation,because obviously my son is only 10 months,and should not be going through all this. I need some mother advice,what should i do first( i need to watch out and not make mistakes,since me and my partner still live in the same house). Should i tell social worker,his behavior has not improved and im concern about my son`s safety as well as mine?What are the chances of me getting full custody of my son? How can i move from the house without him reporting that i stole his son?

Thanks so much.

Madlizzy Sun 04-Sep-11 13:58:34

You need to call Women's Aid. They'll help you. www.womensaid.org.uk/landing_page.asp?section=000100010018§ionTitle=Contact+Us

Tyr Sun 04-Sep-11 14:09:53

You reported him for domestic violence and you're still living in the same house as him? Are there criminal proceedings pending?
When did his drug taking start?
You want to return to S.America? Have you initiated proceedings for leave to remove?
Is his name on the birth cert?

STIDW Sun 04-Sep-11 15:25:59

Do you mean our partner was arrested, if so was he charged? If you and your son's safety is at risk you should leave your home with your son and see a solicitor PDQ. Better safe than sorry. Do you have any friends or family where you could stay until something is sorted out?

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 04-Sep-11 15:30:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sweeethome Sun 04-Sep-11 17:21:19

I am calling them, the latin american womens aid..first thing on monday.. He was arrested but,released.He started taking drugs at a very young age.And stoped a few years ago..He has now began smoking cannabis again.I want to make very clear that i do not support drugs or alcohool,and has never enven smoked a cigarret my entire life,so i really dont like seeing my son in the middle of this. I do want to go backc to south america, i want to be able to be a citizen not just somebodys punching bag,He is now saying ,because i reported him,he is calling immigration for me,because im just as criminal as he is..Wich i do not agree,he has commited a crime agaisnt me,my situation is something i cant avoid as long as he is trying to hold my son in the UK. I will look for help at the womans aid,and hopefully something good may come out. If i do get full custody of my son, is me who decide when he sees him?

Sweeethome Sun 04-Sep-11 17:22:03

Hes name is on the birth certificate.Yes.

Sweeethome Sun 04-Sep-11 17:30:46

im back home from a hostel in east London..They arranged a room for me there,and they have also told me to talk to the latin american womens aid,to arrange for somebody to come with me to Housing,so i could at least get a permanent place to stay with my son, away from him,since the flat is under his name,and it would be dangerous to stay in the same house. Me and him spoke and decided to sort things out for the sake of our son(i know it may sound stupid..but i wanted to try)Going to the police and reporting him,was my last shot,somebody had to knw what i am going through,i asked his family for help,they neglected me,i asked him to talk and sort it out and he said he was going to look for a solicitor,since he is on benefits,its for free.. But after all,im beginning to think i made a huge mistake,i have trusted he would change and he didnt.So i need to move out,and move on.

Tyr Sun 04-Sep-11 18:13:07

No, you won't get to decide when the child sees its father. The court will decide that.
There is no such thing as "custody" any more. What you are referring to is "Residence" but a solicitor will explain that to you.

babyhammock Sun 04-Sep-11 18:15:25

Great advice from everyone but please post in relationships as well. They have some super mnetters there who are very clued up on domestic abuse.
He is threatening custody to control/punish you and not because he is remotely interested.
He hasn't got a hope of any type of custody with his track record..

babybarrister Sun 04-Sep-11 20:48:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sweeethome Sun 04-Sep-11 21:08:44

Tyr .. Sorry,i said IF i get "Residence" of my son..i no longer wish to live in the uk,nor have any right to do so.

Sweeethome Sun 04-Sep-11 21:11:14

babybarrister,thanks.. i am willing to do that..the crazy Partner is coming home soon and he said he wants to talk..but i dont want to go back on my plans..I dont want to suffer any longer. I dont want to give im another chance.

babybarrister Sun 04-Sep-11 21:25:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cestlavielife Mon 05-Sep-11 00:06:59

the social worker will want to see that you are protecting your child -so it would be bad idea to get back with this man at this point. but you need good legal advice given the immigration issue.
i think you need to leave with your son away from him and seek advice. staying is to risky if he has been violent in the past.

if there are significant police records of his violence drugs etc then social services are unlikely to support him getting residence dont put yourselves at risk because of his threats

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 05-Sep-11 07:29:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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