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(5 Posts)
becausewecan Sat 20-Aug-11 13:40:20

Hi can anyone give me advice on mediation please and how to get started?
I cannot communicate with my ex any longer. He talks over me, won't listen and refuses to be reasonable. I want him to keep seeing DD but he is making it so difficult. He can't communicate on an adult level and I end up so frustrated. Anyone know how I get the ball rolling?

DCSsunhill Sat 20-Aug-11 13:42:35

You can self refer to your local mediation centre. Try googling family mediation. Your solicitor can also refer you.
Are you divorced yet?

DCSsunhill Sat 20-Aug-11 13:44:00

Your Ex will have to want to do it though, otherwise the process won't work. The presence of two mediators (who will often be retired solicitors) will ensure that you can talk and have your say. They can help you draw up an agreement between yourselves which your solicitors will then check and present to a judge to rubber stamp.

becausewecan Sat 20-Aug-11 19:42:18

Thanks DCS...we aren't divorced as have never been married. In fact we haven't been together since I found out I was pregnant.
I doubt he will agree to mediation but I thought it was necessary now before going down the court route. I haven't got a solicitor so will look into self referral.
All I want to do is come to a reasonable agreement regarding contact but he won't discuss any arrangements that don't work entirely round him

Collaborate Sat 20-Aug-11 21:58:02

There's no rule that you have to go down mediation route before going to court but the judge can adjourn it so mediation can take place. In practice (in my cases anyway) judges aren't doing this as they see (quits rightly) that it would be a waste of time.

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