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Children taken without consent & mum denied contact

(10 Posts)
ddrmum Sat 30-Jul-11 12:16:04

Hello, i'm in a bit of a state. My exH took my children for a contact day and didn't return them. I sent a msg asking where they were adn was told refer to email dated march. Exh gave some dates in March for summer holidays which were unsuitable and in excess of the contact permitted by the courts. i pointed this out and provided suitable dates - not very different from his requests, yet he refused to return the children, tell me where they are or allow any contact with them. We are due in court for financial FDR on Thurs and he's done this to cause me distress. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. My sol advised going for an ex parte order to have children returned but police seemed to think this would be a waste of time as he's a compulsive liar and is highly volatile and has harrassed me and more recently my solicitor in an attempt to create excess costs and stress for me. I am frightened that this will become the pattern (ie: he takes the DC and doesn't return them as he believes he has the RIGHT to do as he pleases). I am the resident parent for the DC aged 2,4 &6. I would appreciate any advice from you lovely people as I am at my wits end both emotionally and financially - thanks in advance x

GypsyMoth Sat 30-Jul-11 13:39:09

Do as your sol says. There have been threads here with this kind if thing happening.....2 I recall were cases where mumsnetters advice actually got the dc back quickly.

You need the emergency judge to get legal documentation. There are court officials, can't remember the name,something 'staff'? Who can get them

Do you have residency?
What dies court order say?

iheartdusty Sat 30-Jul-11 13:55:01

yes, you can do emergency High Court judge over the weekend by phone, or go personally to your local County Court first thing on Monday morning. Don't wait until Thursday's FDR.

I think I would do County Court myself, it can be complicated to get to the emergency HC judge and you would have to follow it up with a court hearing anyway.

Take any previous court orders with you, especially one that says you are the resident parent, or which sets out the contact dates. Don't assume that the court will have all the records - they may have been archived, and you want an order quickly.

How long ago were the DC due back to you? If you have waited more than a few days, it is possible that the judge may say the children will stay with father until the court can hear both sides of the story, but if you have reacted fairly quickly it is very likely indeed that the court will order him to return the children to you immediately.

why have you not done as your solicitor advised you to?

GypsyMoth Sat 30-Jul-11 13:58:19

Police have no powers with this kind of thing unless children are at risk. They need proper paperwork from court to force the dc back. Why did you listen to police?

Collaborate Sat 30-Jul-11 16:23:01

Agree with all of the above. Ask for a costs order too, together with a prohibited steps order that he shall not have the children in excess of the order without your written consent. That way he will be in contempt of court with any future breaches and can be punished as such.

ddrmum Sat 30-Jul-11 17:26:53

Yes I know I sohuld've gone to the court. i was advised to wait to find out if they were OK which was on Thurs pm. They were due back on Wed at 6pm and he is saying I can have them on Tues as those were the dates fhe gave me. Ex & his family has NO respect for me as the DC mother & just found out the original order is flawed. Going to CC on Monday am. Thanks everyone & yes, I know I should've reacted on Friday but tbh I was in such a state that I probably wouldn't have made too much sense sad
I will be looking for PSO and a much tighter CO especially as he is allowed to take them overseas for a week, but I am not!! I did appeal the original order but the judge who made it refused to budge so I thought I'd try it. goodwill and being reasonable hasn't helped me I'm afraid ........

ddrmum Sat 30-Jul-11 17:33:10

To clarify, i am the resident parent and I can't take them away for a week as the judge gave him every Wed in school hols in addition to 10day contact. ExH has already confirmed that if I take them away which I am, he will take me to court for breaking the order. I know this appears as if I'm stupid - really i am not but I have tried to be reaonable in my dealings with him and it just blows up in my face. Now I have no choice and it does affect the children with the 2 younger ones now bed wetting when they didn't before - He's done this to purely try to show that I am a crap parent and push me over the edge, but I will not give him that satisfaction. I solely provide for the 3 DC and he pays via CSA which he thinks gives him rights to do as he pleases! He's outrageous. Thanks one and all.

iheartdusty Sat 30-Jul-11 18:01:44

you can also apply to vary the existing order, it is silly that his weekly Wednesday blocks you from having a holiday with the DC.

iheartdusty Sat 30-Jul-11 18:02:12

sorry posted too soon, I meant to say good luck on Monday, hope it goes well.

ddrmum Sat 30-Jul-11 18:05:59

Thanks so much iheartdusty - a judge will not stop contact but I might stand half a chance of getting it amended. I feel a bit foolish I suppose & didn't want to appeear neurotic (which I'm not - honest!!) sad

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