Parental Responsibility

[willowcrow]

Can anyone please advise what rights the parent with parental responsibility actually has?

Its a very long story but my teenage child is now living with my ExH ( not married when child was born) He does not have residency or custody and only I have parental responsibility. He is now refusing me access or even telephone contact saying our child doesnt want it. He is very controlling and my child couldnt make independent contact with me if they wanted to - any mobile phone I provide gets confiscated and the credit used by my ExH.

How can I force contact quickly to ensure my child is ok?

[GypsyMoth]

you cant force anything with teens,even if it went to court

PR could be gained very quickly by your ex if required,but i think it covers medical/education decisions. has he changed school?

[mosschops30]

Why is your child living with ur ex? Is he holding your child against their will? How old us the child?

[willowcrow]

Thanks ILoveTIFFANY - no, not changed school. I was under the impression he couldn't get PR without my permission which is why he hasnt got it already. I refused him residency and custody too as he is sooooo controlling. I dont want to force contact with my teen - other than to check they are ok and not being prevented contact with me by my Ex.

[GypsyMoth]

he could go to court for it,it doesnt have to have your permission. has he always had access to your ds?

[willowcrow]

long story mosschops30 holding against their will? not by force no, but maybe by emotional blackmail and manipulation.

[Collaborate]

OP - he will have acquired PR when you married (assuming you married after the birth of the child).

Contact is a seperate issue. Depends on how old the child is. If he won't allow you contact, maybe apply to the court. That way a CAFCASS officer (google for explaination) might go out and see the child to ascertain wishes and feelings.

[GypsyMoth]

he's over 16 though...i think?

[Riakin]

I get the feeling that there is much much more to this story than meets the eye.

Can i just say willowcrow that your statement:
"He does not have residency or custody and only I have parental responsibility" seems very... controlling and I am holier than thou.

How old is your teenage child?
Had your ExH had contact previously

What was your relationship like with your ex and what was it like prior to your son going to live with his Dad?

As some have said if your son is in his teens, technically no court will "make" him see you, as he's much more likely to vote with his feet anyway.

Please could you answer the above questions.

[willowcrow]

Thanks Riakin. You are correct there is MUCH more to this than I am prepared to share. My child is not over 16, infact SHE is 14 and yes my Ex has had contact previously. My relationship with my ex (divorced of over 10 years) has always been diabolical due to his behaviour and our child is the only one of the number of children he has, that he actually sees - or is allowed to see. i came here for advice as to how to check on the welfare of my child, nothing more !

[willowcrow]

looks like a solicitor is my best option: thanks anyway all :(

[GypsyMoth]

a solicitor cant force anything. they have no legal powers to make him do anything at all. i would go to court asap,but be prepared for a long wait and maybe no progress. if cafcass are involved then add on another 6 months+.

and then if your dd refuses to engage,there is nothing anyone at all can do. good luck!

[GypsyMoth]

though with PR you arfe entitled to all school and medical info,make sure school know to pass on duplicate reports etc to you

[Riakin]

Hi willowcrow,

What are the reasons why he is not allowed to see his other children.

My apologies she, if she does not want to come home with you then she doesn't have to. Court and Contact Orders in general are until they reach 16/18 but as is often the case by the time the child is 12 they will have their own freedom as to what and where they will want to go and what they will like to do.

Its rare a court will enforce it and even rarer still that a child will follow the letter of the courts.

Under PR you have what Tiffany says

[STIDW]

If you just want to check your child is OK is there any reason why you can't have a word with the school? The other thing is to open accounts on social networking sites (if you don't have them already) so your child would be able to find you if they looked.