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can the father of my children stop me moving

(94 Posts)
mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 22:55:37

can the father of my children stop me moving from coventry to brighton ???

GypsyMoth Sun 17-Jul-11 23:05:18

is there a court order?
are the dc in school n coventry?
and why are you moving?

mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 23:08:09

no theres not a court order and no nethire r of school age yet and because we split up and i'm currently living with my mum and she's kicking me out and the only other place i have 2 go is my sisters x

NotaDisneyMum Sun 17-Jul-11 23:21:36

He can't actually stop you unless he goes to court, but you might be facing a tough time, either immediately, or long term - legally, your children have a right to a relationship with BOTH their parents, and BOTH parents have a responsibility to ensure that they can.

Can he offer the children a stable home? Is he in regular contact with them now? If so, he could apply for a specific issue order, or even an emergency residency order, to prevent the children moving with you.

Alternatively, you could move to Brighton with them, and then face him going to court later, where it is likely that a court order will be made about contact with him. If you lived close by, then the contact could be every other weekend, or one/two nights a week - but if you are a long way apart, then the court will have to order contact for longer periods of time top make it practical - so if you move, your DC's might spend a week or so with him at a time as they get older; perhaps it would be better to stay close if you can?

mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 23:27:40

he has a 2 bedroom flat he has his daughter with him full time he has contact with the boys i still want them 2 have contact with each other ive offerd 2 bring them down once a month as there not at school at the moment it wont disturb it and ive offered for him 2 see them in school holidays so his daughter still has relationship with her brothers i was planning on going at the end of august so really i should go asap x

BooyHoo Sun 17-Jul-11 23:29:51

what has he said about the offer of once a month and school holiday visits?

mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 23:36:03

nothing much really just being saying that i will ave 2 come 2 him because he's not coming up 2 brighton 2 see them and that he's going to find out his rights x

BooyHoo Sun 17-Jul-11 23:37:40

so he is happy with the frequency of contact and you are happy to bring the boys to him? why do you think he will try to stop you moving? has he said he will?

mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 23:42:11

because he said he's going to see a soliciter tomorrow and i know when his family finds out they will start getting involved and putting it in his head x

BooyHoo Sun 17-Jul-11 23:43:55

ah right. well, try not to worry yourself until you know what he actually wants to do. have you informed the LHA that you are about to be made homeless with 2 small children? is brighton really your only option?

mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 23:50:02

no not yet only decided 2day i was going to have 2 go there and yes my other sister we dont get on nethire r me and my mum and my dad has his own issues so i cant go anywere else x

BooyHoo Sun 17-Jul-11 23:52:27

but you dont have to live with family. you can stay in coventry and have nothing to do with your family if you dont get on. i live in northern irleand so my knowldege of englisg geography isn't good. how far is brighton from coventry?

mickie2011uk Sun 17-Jul-11 23:59:59

its about 2.5 hrs on the train and i no i dont have 2 have anything 2 do with my family but i still what a good support network round me and its such a better eviroment than coventry x

BooyHoo Mon 18-Jul-11 00:05:32

dont you have friends where you live now? if you dont get on with your family, why have you stayed there until now if there is no support there? also, as their father, he would be no1 on my list of people to ask for support from. he would be the person i would feel i needed to stay close to for my children.

mickie2011uk Mon 18-Jul-11 00:12:00

because me my mum ave just fallen out theres alot of issues aswell between me and my ex and yes i do have some friends here but alot of them have there own issues and lifes 2 deal with

BooyHoo Mon 18-Jul-11 00:15:44

no matter where you move to, the friends you make will always have their own issues and lives to deal with.

i know it isn't what you asked but, do you think moving your dc so far away from their dad is in their best interests? how often do they see him now?

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 00:15:58

You want a fresh start yes? Is your sister happy to have you and your children?

mickie2011uk Mon 18-Jul-11 00:18:32

thats what i want a fresh start and yes she suggested it and he has contact on the weekend and yes i understand that they will but at least i would have my sister there x

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 00:20:12

Does she have a large enough home?

mickie2011uk Mon 18-Jul-11 00:21:40

she has a 2 bed room property i'm currently in a 2 bedroom property at mums anyway x

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 00:21:49

Brighton is lovely but it also has some problems. It's not all postive there necassarily...if you went there and then it didn't work out, you would have to apply for emergency housing in Brighton and that would possibly mean a B&B or Hostel...with kids thats not ideal....especially in Brighton.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 00:22:33

Right...so you would need to share a room with your children?

mickie2011uk Mon 18-Jul-11 00:24:13

yep x

BooyHoo Mon 18-Jul-11 00:25:38

so the children will go from seeing their dad every weekend to only once a month? how long will he have them for on the monthly visits? will it be over night? where will you stay? can you afford to travel every month?

Surely you would be better to jar your own home? You would be eligible for housing benefit, income support I think and also tax credits plus your ex would need to contribute for the children.
I find it a bit odd that you aren't even contemplating having your own home.

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