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Partner's ExW keeps changing his Daughters surname

(8 Posts)
SPKy Thu 07-Jul-11 13:03:29

My partners Ex Wife keeps changing their daughter's surname, this is at her school, the doctors, even baby ballet. She has never asked my partner to sign any documentation asking for an official name change. When they got divorced the Ex Wife added her Maiden name at the end of their daughter's birth surname and now she has got remarried and tacked on her new married name so it now reads: [First name] + [birth surname] + mother's maiden name + mother's married name.

What do you all think, should we just not get involved? We feel that it is very confusing for his daughter as she is only 6. (The mother also has their daughter calling the new step father "daddy ' in a foreign language, just like she did with the last boyfriend before that).

soggybottomflancase Thu 07-Jul-11 13:56:07

When I was at school, my bf had always been known as "Something" then as we got close to doing GCSE's she became "Another" as her NI card arrived with the name that was on her birth certificate and then all her exam certificates had that name on. In other words, it doesn't matter what your dp's ex calls her daughter, she's going to have to go back to her birth certificate name.
The calling every new boyfriend/girlfriend Dad/Mum is one of my pet hates. I'm guessing that your dp finds it very hurtful. When I refer to other people's step parents I call them Mummish and Daddish now.
I wouldn't get involved but I would point out what will happen in the future.

Collaborate Thu 07-Jul-11 19:14:33

If he does nothing about it then he may find it's too late to act. She needs his permission for a name change.

Gonzo33 Fri 08-Jul-11 13:00:25

I have a child that has his legal name as "Mstr X" but is known as "Mstr Y". This is because he CHOSE to be called this when registered at school, med ctr, dentist, clubs. His passport still must carry his legal surname of X as will all his LEGAL school documents. His medical records and such like can be in the known as name apparently, which suprised me. I will say I am remarried and he has taken my new surname as his known name.

Collaborate Fri 08-Jul-11 13:36:23

OP - Gonzo's approach is not lawful if there is another person with parental responsibility who hasn;t given their consent.

SPKy Fri 08-Jul-11 15:47:48

Thanks for the help everyone, I didn't realise that her school certificates etc will come with her birth name on them. That is good news. We are about to go on a family holiday and are curious to see what name her Mum has put on her new passport...

As an aside, do you know of any good father websites that I could get my partner to look at to get some advice? He and his ex never went through the court system when they agreed visiting terms and now it is proving very difficult to share parental rights.

Thanks again.

Collaborate Fri 08-Jul-11 17:02:46

Try Families Need Fathers.

RitaMorgan Fri 08-Jul-11 17:09:41

I had to send ds's birth certificate to get his passport, so unless the surname has been legally changed then the name on the passport should be the name on the birth certificate.

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