Issue with holidays and normal access arrangements

[readywithwellies]

Have arranged with exh to have dcs every week. This arrangement in place for 2 yrs and all ok. Last two years i have told him my holiday plans in january for the year - week at easter, couple of bank holidays and two weeks in the summer. He is now saying if I want to take them on holidays I have to check with him first if it falls on his days (which any holiday over 2 days would). Ok, so firstly do I have to ask him or just inform him? And where do I stand if he says no and I take them anyway? Just in uk.

[readywithwellies]

Just to add there is no court involvement, just between us. Dcs are under 6 yrs old so dont have a strong opinion if their own.

[STIDW]

In England & Wales without a court order you don't have to do anything unless you want to take them out of the country. However, it would be reasonable to negotiate arrangements and alternative contact for any days missed.

It is a criminal offence to take the children out of the UK without consent from all those with Parental Responsibility for the child or permission from the courts.

[readywithwellies]

STIDW - aware of abroad rules but wondered what the worst he can do if I just decide to say stuff him if he is unreasonable and won't let me take them away for, say, a weekend. I would offer additional access yes.

[STIDW]

Going abroad without the relevant consent/permission risks court proceedings and your holiday might be disrupted because your ex makes a court application and you are required to attend court very shortly before you leave on holiday, or there may be an all ports warning preventing you from leaving the UK or visits from the authorities when you are abroad.

It isn't a criminal offence to take the children abroad if consent is unreasonably withheld and your ex is likely to get his wrists slapped for trying to prevent the children enjoying normal family holidays abroad but unless the court investigates allegations a judge won't know the circumstances. It is less hassle and less expensive in the long term to play by the book.

[readywithwellies]

Sorry I didn't make myself clear - what is the worst he can do if I do above but in
Uk. Thanks

[Collaborate]

He can't do anything about that. There's no order to enforce. Just go ahead and offer him contact in lieu, or see if he wants his own holiday time.

[readywithwellies]

Thanks. That's what I thought. I guess he could apply for a formal agreement to the court for the future?

[Collaborate]

Yup

[Takeresponsibility]

Please bear in mind that if you just decide to take them away and they are not available on his days, he might just decide to take them away so they are not available to come home when you expect.

What will you do/feel then?

[readywithwellies]

Pretty much the same I feel whenever he does things like that e.g. not taking them to school for no good reason, he does what he likes whether I take them or not.