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If someone contacts you after a harassment warning has been served.....

(8 Posts)
Downnotout Sat 28-May-11 15:12:49

My daughters ex has been served a harassment warning. If he still continues to attempt to contact her, by text, phone calls and through third parties, different Facebook accounts etc. Should the police react to that? Even if the messages are non threatening ? The very fact that he keeps up this behaviour is causing distress.
Threats were made verbally but never by text, there is history of knife crime, drug dealing, theft etc etc.
On our third attempt at contacting the police they have finally asked us to give a statement but a bit concerned that the texts may seem innocent enough to an outsider when we know how dangerous this person is. He's just using any excuse as to why he needs to speak to her.
We thought the harassment order meant that he should not contact her AT ALL and are now wondering what the warning actually means if the police have been so slow to act?

Gonzo33 Sat 28-May-11 17:23:34

I am sorry to hear of your daughters situation. I cannot offer any constructive advice as I am not a legal eagle, although I am sure someone will be along in a minute who can.

I just wanted to offer my sympathy to you and your daughter at what must be an exceptional stressful time.

I have been through this with my exh and it is emotionally stressful and draining, so my thoughts are with you.

MadamDeathstare Sat 28-May-11 17:27:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

perfectstorm Sat 28-May-11 17:53:13

It's just a thought (again, sure a qualified person will be along to help) but there is no legal aid means test for cases of domestic abuse, which I think this would cover? So maybe your daughter should speak to a solicitor and get them to handle this for her - if police aren't following the law then it might be good to have an actual lawyer in her corner. And totally agree that a diary and a total non-response approach is best.

Resolution has a page of info on domestic violence, which it is, if he's an ex.

It's shocking that the police are being so sodding useless. It must be very scary if they take this so casually.

Downnotout Sat 28-May-11 18:18:06

She's been to give a statement this afternoon but they aren't being very helpful because he isn't actually threatening her in them. We have blocked all her accounts and changed her phone but have kept the old one for evidence and it's that one he's ringing and texting. He Keeps setting up fake fb accounts and trying to add her. He's got a new phone number so she didn't realise it was him ringing on the old phone.
The problem we have is he lives round the corner and she's terrified. The initial investigating officer told us that if he contacted her at all he would be arrested and if he came to the house to phone 999 straight away. But she has gone on holiday now and no one else seems to take it seriously.
I thought that excessive phoning/ texting even if none threatening was harassment. It may look innocent enough to anyone who doesn't know the history but actually- he's very clever and knows how to twist things.
She is only 17 as well but they won't speak to me.

perfectstorm Sat 28-May-11 18:53:36

Your poor daughter, and poor you, too. Of course she's terrified: this is stalking. I hope one of the legally qualified peeps here can help advise soon, but I would really find a solicitor who has expertise in domestic violence cases and get them to deal with this for you if at all possible. Your poor girl deserves the protection of the law, and it doesn't need to be threats to be threatening, does it? Only 17 too, my God. Has he any actual convictions, do you know? If so and the police are doing nothing while he harasses a 17 year old that's shocking.

Women's Aid will also be able to offer support. That link is to the criminal law on harassment etc to give you an overview. Knowledge is power and all that.

Really hope one of the MN solicitors can help you. Hang on in there - must be horrendous as a parent to be in this situation.

MadamDeathstare Sat 28-May-11 20:30:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

perfectstorm Sun 29-May-11 11:06:18

Bumping for the same reason.

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