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IIf my ex moves away from the kids do I have an obligation to take them to him??

(11 Posts)
jufa Sat 21-May-11 17:06:41

Can anyone please clarify. If my ex moves away from the area (about 60-70 miles) am I in anyway by law obliged to take the kids at least half way to where he lives. He cant, due to his living arrangements, have them overnight, and having been very unreliable is now saying the only way he will consider seeing them is if i travel half way and sit in the car and wait while he spends the day with them and then I bring them home. He claims to have looked into it and says I need to do this. Is he talking nonsense?

Riakin Sat 21-May-11 19:33:07

Yes and no to him talking nonsense.

If he moves away you do not have a legal obligation to take them away.

The best thing for you to both do is to sit down and talk about your situation(s) and this with the focus being whats best for your children.

What or why can't his living arrangements support the children?

jufa Sun 22-May-11 17:27:42

He rents a room in a shared house so not possible for kids to stay over. I have tried PLENTY of times to sit down and discuss whats best for the children but that has been unsuccessful. I want them to see their father but have been unable to make him stick to a pattern. He moved away but wants me to travel which I cant afford to do, I was just wanting to understand my obligations legally

Collaborate Sun 22-May-11 17:32:12

Usually the court would expect him to do all the travelling.

Riakin Mon 23-May-11 12:33:24

Collaborate i'd be interested to see which courts say that.

EVERY court in the land recognises equal responsibility to parenting and every parent has a legal duty to the other in respects of the childs future (health, education etc).

prh47bridge Mon 23-May-11 13:01:56

The parent who moves away is generally expected to meet the costs of contact. Yes, the parents have equal responsibility but if you do something which increases the cost of contact the courts will expect you to pay.

Collaborate Mon 23-May-11 13:21:13

One parent will be more responsible than the other for putting distance between the parent and child.

Usually (say) the father will have to collect and return the child. If he moves away, he'll still have to do the collection and return.

If the mother moves away, judges are keen to make her do at least some (and sometimes all) of the travelling. All courts in my experience are like this. Not quite sure what you're saying Riakin.

jufa Mon 23-May-11 21:05:20

thank you for your comments, as I suspected. I would have preferred he stayed local as the dc would get to see more of him but it's his choice to move that far and i dont feel i should have to cover any of the costs of that choice

hiddenhome Sun 29-May-11 18:33:34

I was ordered to share the travelling when ExP moved away. I also had to do it at my own expense even though I wasn't receiving any child support.

jufa Mon 30-May-11 22:47:09

how can that be hiddenhome, especially if you were not receiving any maintenance at all from the father? Were there extenuating circumstances?

hiddenhome Tue 31-May-11 10:47:25

Because, in law, contact and child support aren't linked. The court acknowledged that he was being negligent in not paying child support, but I was still expected to 'facilitate contact' by doing my share of the travelling. It was unfair and I no longer travel, but I had to do it for about three years.

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