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contact violent ex

(19 Posts)
Sarahmac26 Thu 19-May-11 19:47:51

Long story (sorry) My daughter is nearly 2 years old my ex hasn't seen her since she was 3 weeks old (when he was sent to prison). I've received a C100 form in the post today for a hearing in June regarding contact. I have a restraining order against him for the next 2 years ordered by the court. What are his chances of getting contact. While I was pregnant he was in prison for harassing his ex and beating up her boyfriend. After I had the baby he was sent to prison for smashing up my house etc. When he was released he was charged with harassment and criminal damaged towards myself, property, car, parents. Breached his harassment order breached his bail conditions. He was given a restraining order, community service, alcohol treatment, probation, to pay compensation. He has never paid towards the baby, no xmas cards etc she hasn't a clue who he is as she hasn't seen him since she was 3 weeks old.

GypsyMoth Thu 19-May-11 19:49:33

he will most likely get a couple of hours in a contact centre.

Sarahmac26 Thu 19-May-11 19:50:38

Is that per week?

GypsyMoth Thu 19-May-11 19:52:28

depends i guess,but will be at the weekend,they arent usually open in the week,unless you pay for one privately

Sarahmac26 Thu 19-May-11 19:55:18

Know someone who see's his daughter in a contact centre on a weekday, must depend on the area

STIDW Thu 19-May-11 20:51:12

He may initially only get indirect contact, sending cards, presents and pictures so that you daughter gets a sense of family and who he is. Then if he shows commitment he may graduate to having direct contact for short periods supervised at a contact centre before gradually moving to unsupervised contact and eventually taking your daughter out for an hour or so. That wouldn't necessarily be every week.

Among the factors the courts will consider in awarding contact will be whether he accepts responsibility for his past behaviour, has done anything to address it and shows any remorse.

Collaborate Thu 19-May-11 22:50:18

Also don't underestimate these days the effect of that kind of conduct upon contact. OP you really need some advice from your own solicitor.

Sarahmac26 Fri 20-May-11 10:25:48

Thanks for your replys and advice. He's supposed to be doing a alcohol treatment plan through the courts and probation but often see pics of him on a certain social networking site pissed out of his head.

Riakin Fri 20-May-11 12:26:54

What are the particulars of this contact?

If he is petitioning for set days or overnight contact, the chances of him getting these are actually very minimal and indeed he may be in the 1% of cases that get refused. To me it sounds so.

If he is just petitioning in general to have contact or "visitation" then this might actually as someone has said be in a contact centre, or under supervision in the courts.

Sarahmac26 Fri 20-May-11 14:47:23

I think its just general contact I've just recieved a C100 for a contact order and a court date

Riakin Fri 20-May-11 15:33:47

I see,

The C100 should outline what his intentions are as to the contact for example:

- 1 night per week rising to 2
- Contact every weekend on Saturday or Sunday between 9 and 3

If all what you say is true though its highlighy unlikely he will be granted a chance/reason to see her. Given his past a magistrate will definately consider these as being an impact (negatively?) on the child

Sarahmac26 Fri 20-May-11 18:59:21

Oh good I hope the judge does see it this way, The C100 Just says he wants contact with the child.

Riakin Fri 20-May-11 21:11:15


Bear in mind that a judge may grant an order then to have supervised contact at a contact centre.

The judge will act with what is in the Childs best interests.

I would certainly contact a Solicitor given the circumstance if your ex is as volatile as you say.

cantfindamnnickname Sat 21-May-11 19:59:28

CAFCASS will do a report and depending on what he says to them and the reports from his probation etc they may suggest he doesnt get contact at all.

It doesnt necessarily mean he will get contact - it depends on what he says - if he says "it was all her fault" and implies that you deserved it etc then CAFCASS will not suggest contact.

What do you think he is likely to say?

Sarahmac26 Mon 23-May-11 09:55:47

I'm not sure, I know his mum blames me for what he has done and they have said because he was frustrated that he couldn't see the baby he smashed my car up.

cestlavielife Mon 23-May-11 10:49:33

it isnt going to look good for him - there are other ways to see your baby than smashing up things and causing criminal damage!
i dont think you need to worry about his excuses for his behaviour....

but have a look at local contact centres in preparation as it may be that supervised contact is ordered - you could ask for supervised and recorded with a report going back to court on how things go before next steps .

Sarahmac26 Mon 23-May-11 11:58:27

It says on the c100 from the court that my ex has tried mediation which i refused to participate with, the reason I refused mediation is because of the domestic abuse and threats he has mad towards me and the fact I have a restraining order against him. Will it look bad for me in court that I havn't tried mediation? or will the judge see that it is not appropriate.

Collaborate Mon 23-May-11 13:22:53

You can't go to mediation if that would put him in breach of the restraining order.

I've PMd you.

Sarahmac26 Mon 13-Jun-11 10:03:45

went to court the other day, he turned up tracksuit, cap trainers and no solicitor. judge had to ask him to remove his cap and he has no representation which i think is a good thing hopefully he'll give up. were back at the end of the month he has to write a statement explaining his previous behaviour and why he opposes the name change

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