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no clue about divorce in the uk...can any one advise me?

(10 Posts)
missytequila Sat 13-Nov-10 23:46:36

my husband told me he is leaving me and wants a divorce. i am not from the uk so I have no clue how it all works here. is there a way to do it without a drawn out case? neither of us has any money or property and anything of value, so that part is easy, but we do have a 9 month old baby...

his grounds are simply that he doesnt love me and "i make him unhappy"... i have not 'done' anything...

expatinscotland Sat 13-Nov-10 23:48:11

he has to file on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. you can contest this because, tbh, 'i don't love you' and 'you make me unhappy' all of the sudden from a bloke = other woman.

prh47bridge Sun 14-Nov-10 01:11:27

There are a number of grounds for divorce. The quickest are unreasonable behaviour and adultery. Unreasonably behaviour is by far the most commonly used grounds. One of you (it doesn't make any difference whether it is you or your husband) simply submits a few allegations. They can be fairly mild, which in turn can make it easier to agree things and remain on good terms for the benefit of your child.

Whilst you can contest the divorce as Expatinscotland suggests, I would strongly recommend that you don't do so. The only real effect of contesting the divorce would be to increase the costs for both you and your husband. Even if you manage to stop him getting a divorce in the short term, if he is determined to end your marriage he will get one eventually.

I would strongly recommend seeing a solicitor who specialises in family law as soon as possible. Many will give you an initial consultation for free and will give you a better idea of your rights.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 09:14:53

'Whilst you can contest the divorce as Expatinscotland suggests, I would strongly recommend that you don't do so. The only real effect of contesting the divorce would be to increase the costs for both you and your husband. Even if you manage to stop him getting a divorce in the short term, if he is determined to end your marriage he will get one eventually.'

If the OP is a nonEU/EEA national and not here on permanent residency, ILE/ILR, she may need to contest. She may also have complicated custody and maintenance issues.

It is sadly also not unknown for some spouses to apply to divorce knowing the Plaintiff/Responder cannot remain if divorced in an attempt to avoid maintenance and custody. sad

But again, a solicitor is in order.

missytequila Sun 14-Nov-10 13:53:26

we are both uk citizens, but i see no way of supporting myself and my baby without any help in the uk. as such the most likely thing would be to move back with my parents abroad as they can help me.

can a uk court force me to stay in london so that the baby can see her father more often?

or am i free to move away?

prh47bridge Sun 14-Nov-10 15:22:58

The father has parental responsibility. That means you cannot take your child out of the UK without his permission. If he refuses you will have to go to court to sort it out. They can't stop you from moving abroad but they can stop you from taking your child with you.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 16:49:54

What phr said. You need a solicitor. Hopefully he will be amicable about it. I have several friends who are British and moved from the US with US-born children, but the father gave permission for this to happen (usually in exchange for the other parent lowering their child support payments).

babybarrister Sun 14-Nov-10 16:53:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumoverseas Sun 14-Nov-10 18:49:54

agree with babybarrister and prh. <mos sits back and waits for mumblechum to turn up and concur too>

babybarrister Mon 15-Nov-10 13:17:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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