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Will I always feel broody??

(34 Posts)
Linnielou5 Thu 21-Nov-13 11:36:15

Hello! I don't normally post on forums much but need to talk about this. I just had my 3rd baby 8 weeks ago, an adorable little boy, my two other children are dd 6 and a ds 4. I've always wanted 3 kids and imagined having 2 girls and a boy, a boy first an then 2 girls. So when I was pregnant 1st time I thought I'd have a boy but what a lovely surprise, I got a girl, second time round I then assumed I'd have another girl but I got my ds1. We waited before having a 3rd as we wanted to enjoy another baby as it would be the last. All through my pregnancy I told everyone that this was definately the last, we didn't find out the sex, after having one of each I didn't mind but in my mind thought I would get a girl after all thats what I imagined having, 2 girls and a boy. Anyway out popped my ds2, surprised but instantly fell in love with him and I can honestly say out of all 3 I was the most smitten wIith this wee guy. For the first few weeks I was certain my family was complete but Im now feeling there is still someone missing and would like no. 4. Lots of people thought I was mad having a 3rd so dread to think the reaction I would get to a 4th. Is it hormones, do I want a girl to even things up, what if i got another boy, I really don't know. I know I would wait a couple of years before trying for another but what if I did have another would this broody feeling slowly creep over me again?? Also I have no desire to be pregnant again and my last labour was the most painful but would do it all again. Sorry the post is long but can anyone answer my question do you ever stop feeling broody??xx

Misfitless Thu 21-Nov-13 21:43:28

I still feel very broody - not all the time, but a lot of the time. Having said that, when I really rationalise it I know I can't have another DC, and that it wouldn't be fair on any of us to add to the family we are blessed with. I think I'm happy feeling broody knowing that it won't ever happen, but there is still a longing and I can't see it going away.

Congratulations! thanks

(Just checked post and it doesn't make sense, but it is how I feel!)

Bowlersarm Thu 21-Nov-13 21:49:22

I have three. Would have loved four. It wouldn't have been fair to DH who only wanted two, but had agreed to throw himself into having number three, for me.

To answer your question, I felt terribly broody for years. I would say I finally didn't feel broody any more when dC3 was about 9, and I felt too old (probably would have been too old to conceive-44) to have another baby and the age gap would have been enormous.

sweetskull Thu 21-Nov-13 21:57:34

I think it just shows that you have already lovely children and probably a lovely supportive husband.
Well done you.
I have no answer for your question but if you definitely wants another girl, would adoption being in the cards? This way you wouldn't have the pregnancy and labour but would make a difference to one child that needs love and family.

Linnielou5 Fri 22-Nov-13 10:53:54

Thanks for your replies, I guess this is a feeling that either does or doesn't go away. I just don't want in say 10 years time to regret not having another. It maybe is just my hormones having just had a baby so maybe in time the feeling might go. We already have a dog so maybe I could get a cat, lol. Sweetskull I actually thought last week adoption could be an option but I doubt hubby would want that, he hasn't even said yes he would like a 4th but he hasn't said no when I've mentioned it so who knows what will happen in the next few years.xx

princesscupcakemummyb Tue 26-Nov-13 11:04:32

hi Linnielou5 i totally relate to what your saying i have 3 wonderful children my 3rd baby was born 3 weeks ago my first son & i am totally in awe with him my daughters are aged 4 & 2 i seem to get broody about the year mark hence the 2 year gap i to wonder if this broody feeling would ever go away i question myself with it quite often my dh is not against having more children & im only 26 but i cant help but feel im being a bit selfish wanting more wen ive been blessed with 2 daughters and a son only time will tell how you feel thats what i keep telling myself x

ILoveAFullFridge Tue 26-Nov-13 11:20:27

I, too, wanted at least 3 but dh wanted 2. We have 3 smile. TBH I had a twinge of disappointment that dc3 was not twins (they run in both families), as I knew that we were stopping at 3. For months after dc3 was born I toyed with the idea of having 'an accident', but knew perfectly well that I could not treat my dh so dishonestly.

Things that influenced our decision were not so much that our family was complete, but primarily our energy levels and our ages when the youngest dc would be 18,

It took about 2y for my head to accept that dc3 would be my last, but probably another 2y for my heart to accept it. I think I will always be a bit broody, but it is now enjoyable. I have no regrets in that respect.

Dc3 is 7. I love cuddling babies, changing, feeding, bathing them. I thoroughly enjoy indulging myself in broodyness with them - but then I hand them back quite happily. I've had my fix, and I won't be getting up at 3am.

mum140381 Tue 26-Nov-13 17:04:15

iv 6 children and my heart says have another but my head says don't

Linnielou5 Tue 26-Nov-13 20:59:11

Thanks to you all for your replies. I too think that I'm just being selfish wanting another when i should just enjoy the 3 kids ive got instead of brooding over a 4th. I honestly thought that once I had dc3 that I would feel my family was complete so I've really surprised myself feeling like this. Tbh I think it is more to do with wanting a girl to even things up, crazy I know as I'm always saying you get what you get and what would happen if I got another boy...try for no.5, then no. 6 to even the numbers again.. think I might just get a cat after all!!xx

collette88 Sun 22-Dec-13 19:49:02

i have 3 boys aged 5,4, and 21 months and i am desperate for another baby. i also crave a little girl as i always imagined having a houseful of girls and never imagined having a houseful of little boys i wouldnt change a thing about my family except to add a little girl to it and my husband has agreed to have another baby in a couple of years but i dont know its like a mixture of emotions its such a hard desicion to not have anymore children.

tiamariaxxx Sun 22-Dec-13 23:13:24

Ive got 4 children 2 x ds 5 and 3 and 2 x dd nearly 2 and the youngest is 10 months.
Life is very hectic for me as you can imagine, i dont particually want a big family BUT i do feel like i might want another 1 day and OH feels the same i know people think were mad.

I miss been pregnant i dont know why i just do, For nearly 6 years ive had dirty nappies and been joined to a pushchair the thought of not having any of this anymore makes me feel quite sad

On the other hand you have to stop somewhere dont you and i really would love a bit of freedom guess you got to weigh up the pros and cons

Thinkingofmyfabfour Tue 31-Dec-13 17:00:22

I'm now cured of my broodiness after having dd, after 3 boys. I always wanted 4 so I don't know if its just having my fourth, or having a girl that's made the difference

EllaBel Sun 12-Jan-14 06:27:03

It is not selfish - it is totally natural. Some of us are programmed to just keep on breeding - it is a hangover from the days of the need to reproduce or 'die out'! Unfortunately - you will always feel it, until it isn't possible. Cherish your babies - whatever their age... focus your broodiness on them - use that energy to read, play, create and develop your little unit.. and sleep well so that you can be there for them. If you do have another, don't feel that you are compromising. Just absorb the extra work and live life...
I have 4 and I would keep going if money was no object! My maternal instinct is very strong and always has been. Some of us are like that!

fidelma Mon 13-Jan-14 22:42:48

cured after 4

Pooka Mon 13-Jan-14 22:48:47

After I had dc3 I felt quite broody for about a year. I think it was due in part to being told tht medically it would be a bad idea (dc3 had rhesus disease when he was a newborn - all better quickly but would ge high risk with subsequent pregnancies).

He's 4 now. I am not broody. Would love another pregnancy and birth and obviously love my children. But it would break me and dh and I am just aware of how little time I get individually with the dcs as it is, particularly now the older ones are 10 and 8.

heliotrope Wed 15-Jan-14 11:06:09

Lovely post EllaBel! We should all do that.
Have 3 and still broody - always wanted 4 - feel that we're getting old for it tho (37 and 41)

NAR4 Thu 23-Jan-14 14:15:28

I have 5dc and would love at least one more. I have 11 yrs between dc3 & 4 and the longing for another child never went, so I expect it will always be there.

SillyTilly123 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:39:36

We've got 3 girls 10, 5.5 and nearly 4. I'd love anoyher and as a previous poster said considered having an "accident" but feel its not fair on dp. However I keep hoping I'm one of the 1% the pill doesnt work for sad Its a horrible feeling wanting another but logic says it will be too dificult to have one. Plus I'd feel bad as my sil has had trouble ttc so wouldnt want to "rub her face in it"

BettyMacdonald Thu 23-Jan-14 19:27:41

I have 3 DCs aged 7, 4 and 1. The whole time I was preg with the third I was very firm that this was our last baby and that I would definitely be cured of my broodiness. Well that was total bollocks! I've been horribly broody since he was about 4 weeks old and would love another. We won't though as financially and time wise it would be very difficult. My theory is that some people are just naturally broody, I really understand why some people just carry on having babies. I think there is a bit of a hormonal element to my broodiness though as since DC3 stopped BF'ing a couple of months ago I'm slightly less broody. I'm going to start encouraging Dnephew to start breeding now that he's been married a month! grin

Stargazer28 Sun 26-Jan-14 21:51:24

Wow!! I came on here tonight especially to post and don't need to - you seem to have written it for me!!!

I have just had my fifth a few weeks ago. All the way through my pregnancy I was totally convinced this was my last. Told everyone and totally believed it. I was convinced baby was a girl as I dreamt about her all through the pregnancy. Didn't even think of a boys' name. But here is my gorgeous little boy. And he is wonderful. I had no actual preference as we had 2 boys and 2 girls. So we didn't mind one bit.

But now I am totally and utterly convinced that dd is waiting to join us. I dreamt of a boy at our table last year and here he is. So I just feel the same now about this little girl. Perhaps I am going crazy. However I have told dh that there is still a little girl waiting in the wings and he has gone from being adamant no more to gently humouring me and being more open to the idea. I have no time on my side at all and feel quite pressurised to move quickly so we do not deny her if this is our fate. Sounds crazy I know. I sorted out my pregnancy wardrobe tonight and although I had intended to bin them I haven't even moved them to the garage. I am convinced that fate will mean I need them again soon. It's so strange. I am so blessed with my 5 beautiful children and although I do still feel broody it is more a feeling that this is totally meant. Perhaps there is a little girl out there waiting for you and is trying to tell you. Have you ever read the book 'an angel set me free'. I sound ridiculously crazy. I'm not. Honest : ))

juule Mon 27-Jan-14 10:26:22

Stargazer, I think it is more likely that because you had a fixed idea from the beginning that you were having a girl, you are now missing that girl that you created in your mind. You were expecting a girl and you got a boy. It might take time to adjust to.
I say this because I felt similar with some of mine. The baby would be born and even though delighted I missed the imaginary baby of the opposite sex. And I wasn't convinced throughout that the baby would be a particular sex as you seem to have been. For later pregnancies I found out the sex of the baby early and this stopped this feeling for me.

Just consider that you were convinced you were having a girl this time but you weren't. Why would the conviction that there is a baby girl waiting in the wings be any more real? What if you had another boy?

fidelma Thu 30-Jan-14 23:30:02

Dh used to ask me how I wanted my eggs? I would say fertilised!
Took a while for dh to say yes to a 4th. He is now 4. I am no longer broody. I always wanted 4
2 girls 13,11
2 boys 8,4
Full on but happy.

Katie28 Sun 09-Mar-14 19:53:00

We always said we wanted four. We now have three, dd 5, ds 2 and ds 10 months. I am just starting to feel broody again and DH is the same! However we have decided that three has given us the feeling we craved of having lots going on all the time, and we feel a sense of completeness. The main reasons for not having another are that it would stretch us too far financially and also we struggle as it is to find time for one on one time with each of the children, so a fourth would mean that was even harder. I think I will always feel envious of people with four children but I think the broodiness will subside once our youngest is out of nappies and sleeps through!

Passthebiscuitspls Wed 12-Mar-14 13:22:04

Yes, I think you will!!
I have two children, a DS & a DD so one of each. We always said we wanted two and two we have. I feel very lucky... And yet, so bloody broody!!
My Dh thinks I'm crazy and has done since DD was born, he doesn't understand it. I should feel done, I've got my family. And yet, I'm sooooo not done!
I've finally talked him into having a third and final child. I can't help it, I just feel there's room for one more. Financially we would be fine, the kids would love it as they always ask for a brother or a sister. I'm so excited at the prospect!!
After the next one, no matter how broody I am, there will be no more, I'll def be pushing my luck then! ;) I think I'll always love babies, holding them, feeding them and their smell is like no other! But, I can't keep having more so will have to accept the bloodiness! Xx

clairemiss79 Thu 13-Mar-14 08:15:03

Hi linnilou. I have 3 dc ages 10 8 and 5. I always thought my 3rd was my last and our family was complete. I couldn't shake off the terrible broodiness. I enjoyed dc 3 as a baby as much as I could and got rid of all my baby stuff etc. I was totally convinced I couldn't have any more because of money, child care etc.
Last summer dh and me decided we would just go for it and have dc4. I was worried about other people's reaction s and judging me etc. But I have been so surprised. People are so happy and id forgotten the joy another baby can bring. So don't rule out another one. Just give yourself time and think about it in a few years maybe?

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