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Larger families

If you have 3 children - did you find life with two serenely blissful and easy?

51 replies

bintofbohemia · 08/07/2010 08:34

Or did you find it challenging and do it anyway?

We're talking about it but am a bit scared as life with two children aged nearly 2 and nearly 4 somedays can be...tricky.

But have just stopped breastfeeding and the hormones are kicking in and we've always said we want 3-4. (That has been revised down to 3 in the last couple of years.) Just wondering whether to wait until it gets easier - or is that just masochism, should we just grasp the plaster and rip it off, IYSWIM and get all the sleeplessness out of the way now, rather than stagger it?

Thoughts appreciated because we're dithering...

OP posts:

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sarah293 · 08/07/2010 08:36

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piscesmoon · 08/07/2010 08:38

One to 2 was the big change, 2 to 3 you don't notice!

HouseofCrazy · 08/07/2010 08:40

Um.....no! The baby is a doddle compared to my three and four year old!! Those two still give me grief! The third baby, for me, just slotted in!

StealthPolarBear · 08/07/2010 08:43

I've been wondering this - although not having a third! Now, on the times when i only have one child, life is easy!

bintofbohemia · 08/07/2010 08:44

Sweet jesus. 3 under 3! I've found two quite hard (PND and DS2 at nearly two is a nightmare sleeper) and I sometimes wonder if that should tell me something.

But I keep trying to project forward, they're not babies for long and someone once said something about not having babies, but having people in your family, and I love the idea of three. (Of course the reality might not fit the dream, but I think I'd rather try and know, than stop and always wonder.)

Also having two boys would love it if we could have a girl next time, although obviously no guarantees there!

The dithering continues. pisces - I hope you're not fibbing!

OP posts:

Astrophe · 08/07/2010 08:45

I am finding my numer 3 a doddle too. I did have a bigger age gap this time though (3.5 years, whereas 21 months between the first 2) and I think that is a factor. I felt like DC1 and DC2 were fairly managable (not all the time, but generally) by the time I fell pg when DC2 was 2 years 8 months. Maybe give yourself a few more months? Things chnage so quickly.

bintofbohemia · 08/07/2010 08:45

Also, by if I got knocked up immediately there'd only be about 4-6 months after the birth with DS2 at home full time, he'd turn 3 in August and start playgroup and DS1 would have already been at school for a year...

OP posts:

cluelessnchaos · 08/07/2010 08:46

no but 2 seems easy now, dc4 due in nov and 3 isnt a doddle at the moment but I expect it to seem easier when the new arrival comes

expatinscotland · 08/07/2010 08:49

I found life with two piss easy.

So, in typical fashion, I forged the thickest rod I could for my back and had a third.

Mine were 5 and 2.11 when DS was born, both girls.

They're a walk in the park. I'd happily fly to Australia on my own with them.

DS.

He's an absolute joy, a beautiful, cuddly, happy baby (now 20 months).

But he is hard work compared to the girls at that age.

He is everywhere. He still wakes up some nights. He wakes early in the morning.

Every child is a blessing, and we are so thankful he is here and healthy.

But a doddle it's not.

StealthPolarBear · 08/07/2010 08:57

"I found life with two piss easy."
What age was your youngest when you thought this? Or did you always?
I;m consoling myself with the fact DD is 9mo, by the time DS was 15mo we were ttc - and had been considering it for a couple of months. So maybe only 3 or 4 months until life gets easier!

StealthPolarBear · 08/07/2010 08:57

and dd is easier than DS, but of course we have 2 now...

BessieBoots · 08/07/2010 09:08

Ooooh, I'm glad you started this thread. 2 is so much harder than one, isn't it? But I keep thinking that I'd never regret having another, but may regret not having one...

(disclaimer- DS2 is only 9 months, no.3 will not be happening for a looooong time...)

lucysmum · 08/07/2010 09:09

found going from one to two really hard for 6months or so. Never had a problem with number 3, very easy baby who had to slot into our life from day one. But I do have quite big gaps - around 3 years and at point new baby arrived the next one up was starting nursery which made things so much easier.

Avocadoes · 08/07/2010 09:10

I have two DDs, 3.10 and 18 months. I found the transition from 1 to 2 soooo much harder than expected. DD2 is a determined little handful and I lose my temper with them much more than I think is acceptable.

I have always wanted 3 but now know I must wait. I loved the early months with DD1 but not so much with DD2. I want to try and enjoy them with DC3 so I am planning to wait until 1&2 are about 6 and 4 before having another. I don't think it would be fair on the other two, particularly DD2, to have a baby any sooner.

And having them close together would not be like ripping off a plaster. Plasters come off in seconds, it would probably be at least two years from the birth of DC3 before any form of sanity would return.

going · 08/07/2010 09:13

I found two easy.

Having my third has made so much more work. I don't think it's becasue ds is it it's just that I'm so much busier with the girls after school clubs, more washing, more cooking. I didn't expect it make such a big difference.

Wouldn't change it all though!

MayorNaze · 08/07/2010 09:13

3 is great

but is like walking st bernard puppies, esp in the supermarket

take 1 out of the equation (any one!) and is EASY

and then just 1 by itself - almost like no children at all!!!

expatinscotland · 08/07/2010 09:16

I always thought this.

They were both easy babies and DD1, the eldest, is an easy child.

DD2 is more challenging, now as the middle child.

But DS is in a league of his own!

dotty2 · 08/07/2010 09:28

Avocadoes - interesting. I have been thinking about no.3 almost since the day DD2 was born - whether to go for it, or be grateful for what we have. Still undecided, but I can't do it next year so if we do, the likely age gap will be with DDs 6 and 4. My (not so D)S is 7 years older than me, and we have never got on, so I'm unsure. Sorry - that's all very rambly. Just interested to see someone else contemplating the same gap as me (always assuming things go smoothly and eggs get fertilised, etc, which is not a safe assumption anyway...)

dotty2 · 08/07/2010 09:29

That's my sister who's seven years older than me, not my son, obviously. Sorry...

NorkilyChallenged · 08/07/2010 09:29

This is a really interesting thread as this is exactly my dilemma.

I had a 15 month age gap between my two and it was hard but not as bad as I anticipated. However, I find two toddler (they're now 2.2 and 3.5) really hard work and my patience has worn very thin. I don't know if I'm as good a parent to two as I would have been to one but we'll never know.

And yet, and yet, the thought of another one is still there all the time and I just don't know. DD2 has been a dreadful sleeper and is a much more... er... strong personality so I'm not sure it would suit her to be a middle child (yikes) but mainly I worry for my sanity.

However, when friends get pregnant with a 3rd I admit to a pang of, not jealousy exactly but a little pang of "ooh, that is nice".

beautifulgirls · 08/07/2010 09:34

My first two were 5 and 3.5yrs when number 3 was born. The older ones had reached the stage where life was not so much hard work, though plenty of running around to be done for them especially with the school run etc. #3 has been great fun to have if hard work. She has had to fit in around everything else but as a result is quite an adaptable baby. We didn't do rigid routine with her because it just wouldn't work, so in the early days there is a lot of clock watching and planning to make sure #3 is fed/changed in time for me to be wherever for the other two. Sleep is a big issue, especially as #1 was a good sleeper, #2 was not as good but #3 for us has been the worst of our sleepers. We'll not be doing #4 LOL!

NorkilyChallenged · 08/07/2010 09:35

Gah beautifulgirls, scary to hear that your 3rd was a worse sleeper than your 2nd. Don't think I could cope with worse than dd2!!

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dotty2 · 08/07/2010 09:36

Norkily - that's exactly how I feel. I know quite a few friends with a recent no.3 and get a definite pang. But that is not a good reason to have a 3rd, is it. Also worry about making DD2 a middle child. And now they are aged just 5 and nearly 3, neither of them reliably sleeps through...

HouseofCrazy · 08/07/2010 09:43

Funny how people with two girls are finding the third child (a boy) challenging and those with two boys are finding the third baby (a girl) easy...hmmm....

NoSleepTillWeaning · 08/07/2010 09:43

Have def found the lack of sleep hard with no 3 a he's much worse than the girls (aged 6 and 4) were, although not as terrible as some. Think my tolerance for lack of sleep has decreased.

So even though he's a lovely happy soul am finding it hard (he's 6 months) and have had low points in last month when I regretted having a third. Partly this is just me though - I do tend to stress unnecessarily when they don't sleep or eat well and he's not great at either.

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