Do you regret having another child?

[Momdeguerre]

DH and I are talking about how many children we would like. We have two now - 23 months and 11 weeks. So far, so good and I am finding the two a real pleasure.

I think I would like four or more - circumstances allowing. DH is not decided but during our discussion we both wondered if anyone ever actually admits to or even feels regret for having a child. I know several people who have regretted not having more or any children but none who say they have had too many.

Do you think you only regret not having another child?

[Lonnie]

No I dont regret any of my 4 life is messy anad hectic but it is also filled with love and laughter..

My sister used to go on and on about how much better it was for her she only had 1 she could spend all this time and attention on her they could afford holidays etc.. until one day I said to her..

Yes but every time you get a hug I get 4 everytime you get a kiss I get 4 every time you get a picture painted for you I get 4 and I get to watch my kids interact with each other know each other love each other and I know when i am gone they will still have that..

She has never commented again.

I have at times wondered what life would be like if we had stuck to the traditional 2 kids (oldest 2 - girls- are now 10 and 12) but if that was the case I wouldnt have known about dirty cricket troussers and football and I wouldnt know about Puffles and rabbits and rabbitlanguage..

and why would I regret any of that?

[Slickbird]

I'm kinda torn. Overall, I don't regret it. We have three but number three was a surprise (especially as number two was only 9 months!) And it's been very very tough - the middle one is a non sleeper with lots of night terrors and tantrums and the baby obviously has been through teething etc so it feels like if it's not one its the other. Then there's the eldest's homework etc. I never get a chance to sit down for longer than half an hour and it is relentlessly hard going.

BUT, the 'surprise' was a boy where we had two girls already, he is a wee darling and I love all my children with such ferocity I can't imagine not having them here. I do love the fact that they will have each other (I hope) as they get older and I am still at the early stages of it all which I think are the hardest - I still have the stage where they will all play together more (they already argue!) and I have sometimes wondered, where we would have been in life if we had stopped at two. That thought creeps in quite a lot. But like I said, my son is like a gift to me, he has been such a good baby, such a happy baby and with all the hard times we've had with the middle one, sometimes it's been him that's kept me going. And also there are times I feel proud when I tell people I have three as it's not as common as it used to be and the admiration I get from people can help boost my spirits when I'm finding it hard.

So no, I don't regret them. But it is tough. Can't imagine 4!

[4andnotout]

When I found out I was pg with dd4 I instantly was horrified as dd3 was only 5 months old and dd2 was 3.

Once I came round to the idea and when she actually arrived it was fantastic, she slotted straight in as though she was always meant to be here.

I'm hoping for number 5 within the next 12-18 months and hopefully it will be as positive as the others.

[Slickbird]

Can I just add, while I say my son was like a gift to me, I feel like that about all of them, it's just that he wasn't planned!

[PotPourri]

I've got 4, and whilst some days I am tearing my hair out, I am past the really manic stage as the youngest is now 4 months. I will admit I had a few moments where I told myself I was a silly cow to think I could manage 4 kids - but i would NEVER wish any of them away. I love them all sooooo much.

Lonnie, nice one, the '1 is better' comments stopping now!

[juuule]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/991702-To-sometimes-wish-I-had-never-had-children

While the op of the above thread probably doesn't literally mean the title, I would think it's as close as you are going to get to people admitting they regret having another child. No-one I know would wish any of their children away but some might occasionally wonder whether life would have been that bit easier if they hadn't gone for that 'just one more'.