room sharing query

[cracklingfire]

I have a DS1 age12, DD1 age10, DD2 age 2 and about to have DC4.
We have a large 4 bed house with master bed and ensuite, 2 doubles and a single room, a big lounge where we store all the books and family games and a dining room which houses the computer and craft stuff. we eat in the kitchen breakfast room.
We have lost of visitors with and without kids so a spare room is very valuable to us.
How would you allocate rooms, Currently DD1 had own room, DD2 own room and DD2 is either with us or in travel cot in the spare room.
Can I expect older children to share with younger ones?
If this is a boy how long can boy and girl share or should I have 2 daughters sharing? a timeshare for sleepovers or any other reason.
If we kept a spare room they could all use on
Any ideas gratefully received

[Flum]

Mmmm we have only 3 kids and four bedroom house. But we sort of have rolling beds... The two older ones just move around sometimes they go in with the toddler for fun and coz the bed in there is big and comfy. Sometimes they sleep in double bed in spare room and sometimes in the bunks in their room. But changes who goes where.

For you I would give the two older ones their own rooms and put the two younger ones in the 'spare' room, but not make it a kids room and they would have to go in with older ones when people stay.

Or give one of older ones the spare room and they have to move out when guestes come.

I think for your family spacing you would be pushing it to get a spare room.

[Greenshadow]

I agree a spare room is lovely, but it is a luxury and I'm sure as the children get older, they will query why they can't move into it permentantly.
I would let Ds1 and DD1 have their own rooms and then DD2 and baby share for the moment. In 6 years, DS1 may well leave home (!) and then the younger ones would only be 8 and 6 and one could move to DS1's room.
Of course, he may well not move out, and even if he does, would not want to give up his room... but large families have to make some compromises.

[cracklingfire]

Greenshadow, I guess I know that makes sense.
Now DD1 would be best in the double bedroom that has the spare bed(the biggest one) and she is currently in the single. So she could move I guess. DS1 would need to move to the single so DD2 and baby could have smaller double which is conveniently next door to the master bedroom.
DS1 has a trundle which DD1 could use when guests stay.
Or she could go in the smaller double and 2 little ones share the bigger double. hmm. I think they may need to be involved in this decision.

[tanmu82]

I personally don't think it's fair to make a child 'move out' of their room for guests. When I was younger my bedroom was the only room in the house that was mine (even when I shared with my sister it was 'ours') and you can't underestimate the need for a space all of your own when you are younger - especially on the cusp of teenagerdom. I personally would give each of the older ones their own rooms and then make the youngest two share. Guests could have a blow up/put up bed in the loung/dining room.

[bigcar]

I'd go for the older 2 in their own room and the 2 los to share as everyone else. I would consider if you have a lot of guests, converting the dinning room into more of an office/guest room with a decent sofa bed. Older ones really don't appreciate sharing with babies, my dd1 and dd2 with a 8 year age gap shared for a while and it wasn't ideal. Dd1 couldn't be up late making any noise in her room as dd2 would be asleep.

[frogetyfrog]

I too would give the 2 oldest their own rooms and the two young ones share for now. However, I would convert the dining room or split the largest bedroom into two at a later date so all can have their own room. I dont see why just being the oldest should mean that you always have a room to yourself but being the youngest reaching the age of the oldest when you were born, you dont (does that make sense!).

[cracklingfire]

Our house is very open plan so their is no possibility for having a dining room/study with a sofa bed. Also none of the rooms could be split due to where the windows and doors are. We could possibly extend out the back of the house a single storey but that would cost money obviously. The only room to split could be our kitchen breakfast room into a study for one half and the other to be part of an l shaped kitchen diner with the open plan dining living room.
hmm hard to describe really.
We could give up our room for guests and sleep on thermarests in the kids rooms when we have guests I suppose. When I am a guest I really appreciate having my own room especially if I stay more than 1 night.
Here is my final plan
Master bedroom- me and DH
single bedroom- DS1 with bed with trundle for occ guests child to share with him
smaller double-DD1 with lovely pretty iron double bed and massive double built in wardrobe, plenty room for desk and dressing table BUT she gives up for guests and choses to share with either younger 2, on our floor or brothers trundle
large double-2 younger ones(if 2 girls ad infinitum and if DC boy then move to phase 2)

Phase 2
when DS1 goes away/job/uni whatever then put spare double bed in single(it just fits but no room for anything else) and 18 and 6 year old share in hols or 18 year old sleeps in summer house with power etc in garden!
when both big ones away they time share the spare room or sleeping with a sibling

our largest double could have a partition but need to walk through one half to get to the other side

sorry to waffle on

or rob a bank and build an extension

[Greenshadow]

Sounds a very sensible solution Cracklingfire.

[sorky]

I personally would not expect any child to give up their bed/space and would expect guests to, and indeed if I was to be a guest, stay in a B&B.

[Greenshadow]

Why do you not think children should give up a bed Sorky?
We don't have family living locally, so when they come to visit, they have to stay for at least one night and this does mean that the children have to take it in turns to give up their bedroom and move in with one of their siblings.
I know it's not ideal (children hate it), but would rather that than have elderly relatives having to stay elsewhere.

[sorky]

I just don't think people should be asked to give up their beds for others at all, especially if they hate it.

I would never impose in such a way. There are plenty of B&B's, travel-lodges etc. If people visit us they know there is no room and will stay elsewhere, but come to our house for the day.
Why can't they stay elsewhere? Why should children have to give up personal space and their own bed? I wouldn't give up my bed, I wouldn't expect it of anyone else.

It's personal choice, but it seems ludicrous to me, to keep a spare room just in case people visit when the children have to share a room in order to do so. But that's me....what other people do is their own business, as long as everyone's happy with the situation.

[mumutd]

Do you have a garge that could be converted. The reason why I say this is that we have a 3 bedroom house and we have 4 children. My older boys share a bedroom and my younger ones (girl and boy) share a room. We do have a single story extension the back of our house which is classed as the playroom and we have a sofa bed in there for guests.

We don't live near any family so when they do visit it is usually for an overnight stop.

If you converted your garage you could use this as a den for the older kids come guest room.

We are converting ours later in the year to give us extra space, my eldest will eventually need some peace on quiet when he starts doing serious homework and the way our house is at the minute he won't get it. So our conversion will become the older boys den/guest bedroom.

[cracklingfire]

Yes we do but it is detached and there is a 4 foot gap between the house and the garage. This gap is our rear access to the garden / bin store etc. We could do what you suggest. Money would be the main obstacle.

[IMoveTheStars]

Do you have a DS1 or a DD1? Sorry, unclear from your post ifyour two eldest are both girls, in which case they shouls share a room.

Ditch the spare room and divide the rooms as you/DC's see fit. Guests can sleep in the living room.

When we were kids, we each had our own room (3 girls, 4 bed house) If relatives came to stay then one of us would go in with our parents, 2 of us would share another room, you figure it out.

Please let your kids have their own space and don't let them feel second to guests.

[TheNextMrsDepp]

We have four bedrooms and three kids. Each have their own room, but we did a deal with dd1 (who is 9) - she was given the biggest room, on the understanding that when we have guests she would move in with dd2 who has a bunk bed. dd1's room, as well as being nice and big, has quite grown-up decor, which she loves, and we have two single beds, one of which fits under the other so the room is flexible. She really doesn't have a problem moving in with dd2; they are very close in age and often share by choice. We couldn't possibly justify a dedicated spare room so this works perfectly.
I have to say, this sort of arrangement works best with nice tidy girls; ds's room is a teenage hell-hole sprinkled with festering underwear and tubes of hair-gel, so no guests are queueing outside HIS door!!

[cracklingfire]

DS1 age 12 and DD1 age 10, final decision is DD1 gets big double and deal is she gives it up for guests to share with a sibling of her choice or has mum and dad in with her!
DS1 gets small room(currently DD1s room) and little ones share bed 3 which is next door to master bed.
No money to extend and so we will cope. Thankyou for all your feedback.
When the little ones grow up we will have a rethink. If DC4 is a girl they can share until someone leaves home!

[MmeTrueBlueberry]

I wouldn't prioritise having a spare room.

If you need to have overnight guests, then arrange it so one of your DCs moves to another room. Don't keep them cramped for the odd occasion.