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Pregnant with 4th!

(18 Posts)
purplemoonchild Thu 10-Dec-09 21:15:20

And struggling with 3!!!!!! How do you cope??? My washing piles are Neverending, angry I dont have time or inclination to iron, I am constantly washing dirty dishes, sad my carpet used to be cream and is now a brown shade with dark spots, lol, blush I am piling toys high on the toy baskets, i have so many baby gates I am not going to see the back of until at least 2013, and all my children are so demanding of my time I am starting to wonder if I will cope with another!! And how on earth will I get out and about with all in tow, (without losing any) without my partner??? I have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a nearly 1 year old, and am having 4th in May/June........somebody reassure me, and tell me where to find the free nanny and housekeeper please!!!

sweetkitty Thu 10-Dec-09 21:53:35

No reassurance as I am thinking the very same thing.

I am 19 weeks with no4 and thinking OMG what have I done, I struggle to pick up my 5yo from school with a 3yo and a 1yo in tow, how am I going to cope next year.

Only saving grace is DD2 goes to school in August next year so really only two during the day.

And you forgot how the hell am I going to drive a 7 seater bus and plan an extension with 4 children around.

But hey am sure it will be great fun.

GaribaldiGirl Fri 11-Dec-09 20:26:55

your children are still very little. i think it will be hard (but wonderful) for a while and then it will be easier (and even more wonderful) when they get a little older.

PotPourri Fri 11-Dec-09 20:41:39

I am in the same boat and panic regularly about how I will cope (my kids are nearly 5, 3.5 and 1.5 and I'm due in Feb). I am hoping it will fall into place like it did with 3, and remind myself that the days where I feel totally overwhelmed also happen to people with just one or 2 children.

I am from a family of 5 kids btw and loved it, so that is reassuring too - and my mum and dad loved having so many kids and can't really remember those tough days now.

BackUpYourPhotosNow Fri 11-Dec-09 23:47:22

Hello,
Congrats Mummies of many to be!!!

I have 4 dc, dd1 is 4, dd2 is 4, ds1 is 23 months and ds2 is 15 weeks. Yes it is tough, but its also fabulous. There are days when i feel like its all too much and days where everything seems to fall into place and I feel like a pro iykwim?

I have had the benefit of having a wonderful friend who was an inspiration to me, 4 ds's with 2 yrs between each and is a single parent.

There are organisational things that I do now with 4 that I didn't need to with 3, but they are mainly to keep me on track and to help me feel in control, I can cope without doing them but things are much smoother when I do do them!

Things like,

I make up large batches of ham / chicken rolls and freeze them to make lunches quicker to make up during the week, ( also means I can't run out of ingredients and things like open ham packets don't go off in the fridge)

making packed lunches for everyone the night before ( including me also gives the rolls a hance to defrost ;o) )

Lay the breakfast table the night before ( bowls with cereal in a cup for each child)and cover everything up so that in the morning you just need to pour the milk.

De-clutter as much as poss, I have zones for toys, bedroom toys stay in the bedrooms lounge toys stay in the lounge, we regularly swap things about and I'm not horrendously strict about it, bedroom toys that get downstairs go back at bed time.

Get a timer and get the kids used to a 10 minute tidy up routine. Be really enthusiastic and excited about how many minutes and seconds are left. Its amazing how fast you can get the floor straight before bed!

Write out a meal planner for 3 weeks and use it to organise yourself - theres nothing worse that picking up the kids from school and still not knowing whats for dinner.

If possible pick up a second hand dishwasher (or a new one if you really feel the need) and sacrifice a kitchen cupboard to house it, it will be worth it I promise.

As for washing Its my downfall everytime, logically I know that I must put through a lights wash and a darks wash every day including sat and sun. If I miss a day I get very behind very quickly. blush

I also have plastic boxes with each persons names on so that clean washing can be folded and put into the boxes straight away. This way an time I get a spare 2 minutes I can put away 1 box very quickly. It seams much less of a task this way than a giant heap of washing.

My lovely friend warned me that you need to be able to fit things into 10 minute slots, so if you need to clean the bathroom when the kids are about then aim to do just the loo, then the sink, then the bath, you can't always do it easily in one go but you can do everything bit by bit.

Lastly try not to aim too high, its much better to plan to do 3 things in a day and at the end of the day say wooo hooo I succeeded than to aim to do 20 things and fail. You will just make yourself miserable.

I'm not perfect on the stuff above, everything else I am just winging, I'd love any more ideas on organising myself better. Life is a bit mad at times at the moment, but its only going to be this difficult for a short while (I hope.....) My 4th birth was amazing, and I would do it again tomorrow, no regrets at all.

BackUpYourPhotosNow Fri 11-Dec-09 23:49:47

oh and get a phil and teds, a car seat connector and the right carseat - phil and teds fit upright in the 7th seat space of a galaxy - no folding needed wink

Zola78 Sat 12-Dec-09 13:19:07

The truth is after any baby there is (in my experience) a period when you feel like your sinking. Usually because you've set your expectations too high and because there is a new person in the mix that your not quite sure about i.e when is he or she going to sleep or eat. I find that usually after about 12 weeks if not a little before the fog starts to lift as you get into it. Baby sleeps at x and y and eats accordingly. The older children need this on p and q and life gets into some sort of order. But if your anything like me, you want that order straight away and it can't happen. The house will look a mess for a while as will you but the great thing is it doesn't last forever.

Life moves soo quickly and before you know it your climbing a different hill. The trick is to try and enjoy the children and your life no matter what!! My own children are 5, 3 1/2, 23 months and 8 weeks. Life is tiring but I am determined to enjoy them all. It's really difficult and I don't always achieve it but it's my goal. Half the battle is mindset!!!

Sorry for the ramble! But I hope this helps!

sweetkitty Sat 12-Dec-09 15:41:20

Very interesting about the P&T and a Galaxy, that is one of the cars on our list and we are buying a P&T (had one but sold it a few months before ttc#4 doh)

BackUpYourPhotosNow Sat 12-Dec-09 22:25:00

Totally agree with zola

Deffo think about the Galaxy, I love mine. Although will point out that mine is an n reg and the newer ones are not quite the same. Measure the space available.

manitz Sat 12-Dec-09 22:39:15

sharan is same as old galaxy

lillyfc Tue 29-Dec-09 11:01:01

Hi, very happy to have found this thread as I've just found out I'm pregnant with my 4th!

Have largish age gap after having my first two (ds1-11 & dd2-8) and ds3 who is a year old. Was a shock to find out I will become a mother of 4 but now I've got my head around it I'm actually getting quite excited! dh always wanted big family so he is happy (but works long hours so it's me doing all the running around after kids).

Good to read all the tips on getting organised! Older 2 have such good social lives and I will obviously need to get up and do school run every day, just have the odd moment of panic about how I'll cope!!!! Good to know there are lots of you out there who do!!

GaribaldiGirl Tue 29-Dec-09 20:06:54

my advice on coping is:-
1. stay at home a lot (at least when they're little like yours). it's so much hassle going anywhere it's often not worth it.
2. lower your standards of cleanliness/tidiness for a few years.
3. find friends who also have big families who can really understand all your joys/miseries. people with 2 children are in a different place.
4. oh and also find friends who only one child (they are often very happy to borrow yours as playmates!!!)
i had 4 aged under 5. it was very hard work, but fantastic now they're all at school (they are a really happylittle gang). In fact it's so much easier i've just had a 5th so i can have a baby all to myself. when the others are at school i love laying around staring at her - which you never have time to do when you have so many so close together.

Ohforfoxsake Tue 29-Dec-09 20:15:38

People cut you a lot of slack when you tip the scales at 4. You won't be asked to do anyone any favours, and they will be delighted to help when you ask them "she has four you know". And it gets a lot easier to ask.

And if you can, get a cleaner. Even if it means living off cornflakes. Your sanity is at stake here! Sounds decadent, but any help you can get around the house, take it.

Get on top of the clutter now, freecycle, give to baby groups, just get the large colourful moulded plastic stuff out.

Double buggy, buggy board and sling are your only options for the next 8 months or so.

Ohh, try Freecycle for a dishwasher. And tumble dryer.

Yuletidedog Tue 29-Dec-09 20:19:35

Message withdrawn

becky7000 Sun 03-Jan-10 14:50:14

I am just marking my place on this thread as in a few weeks I will have 4 under 4 and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect.

I am loving the tips on organising things. I think I am quite organised now but not as good as ome of you so all tips welcome!

My only new tip is to get a slow cooker. I got one for xmas and I am just discovering how great they are. Anyone got any good recipes for slow cookers?

GaribaldiGirl Mon 04-Jan-10 19:36:50

what's a slow cooker? my MIL recently mentioned that i should get one to make stews in. it must be a very economical way of making food because my in laws are as tight as a gnat's chuff.
I just thought of another tip - or maybe it's just a reflection on life with lots of children - don't wash their clothes until they're filthy. Mine often go to school in grubby uniform and if anyone notices i say 'oh dear what did you do with your breakfast?' then they think it's only just happened.

threecurrantbuns Wed 20-Jul-11 21:24:42

Just bumping this thread to see how life is now that some of the no4s have arrived. We are ttc no4 if it happens soon we will have 4under6 so very interested to know how life is treating you??

FootprintsOnTheMoon Fri 22-Jul-11 11:35:29

<checking in. Two pink lines - whoo hoo!>

Slow cookers are super - like having a wifey at home who has a hot dinner ready for you as soon as you walk through the door!

It's a big earthenware pot with a low power heating element. You set it off in the morning, or a few hours ahead (depending on power/recipe/ schedule).

It's literally changed my life. No more juggling hot baking trays and boiling water with a todder around my ankles! I have a personal rule that all cooking has to be finished by 12 - it's the only way I have any hope of finishing the day at a reasonable hour with a reasonable house!

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