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3 with small gaps between them?

(26 Posts)
tvfriend Thu 30-Jul-09 21:52:42

Anyway have small gaps between their 3 DCs.
Can't decide what to do and am v nearly 40 so need to get a move on..
Have a DD of just 2 and DS is 7 months so a 17 month gap. Finding it all OK at the moment. Me and DH are both one of 3 and we both feel that we're not really done yet but part of me thinks we're lucky with what we've got etc.
I was thinking we should wait another year before TTC- DD will be nearly starting proper school etc but on the other hand, maybe we should just get on with it and see what happens.
I think part of it is that I feel a bit sorry for DS. He is only tiny and already has to share us with DD and another baby fairly soon would mean he gets even less time with us.
Anyone else had 3 under 3? I think both families would think we were unhinged.(We could afford some sort of help, thankfully).

meltedmarsbars Thu 30-Jul-09 22:06:46

I had 3 with 18m then 19 m gap. My aim was to get past the nappy stage quickly, and to have kids who would grow up together. The eldest was 3yrs 6wks when No. 3 was born.
Whatever the gap, the love has to be shared out 3 ways!

They do get on but they also fight like cat and dog!

FlamongoBongo Thu 30-Jul-09 22:15:48

I've got a 20m gap, then a 23m gap (and then a 21m gap, but that's another story!) and it is lovely. They're all very close and can play the same games still. They bicker a lot but they also really, really love and care about eachother.

in2minds Thu 30-Jul-09 22:17:25

I had three under 4 and would not recommend it or wish it on anyone in retrospect.
It was damned hard work, I wish I'd spaced them out a bit more and enjoyed them as individuals.
They are all very different personalities, do not play together and are the same sex so all those great plans are out the window.

FlamongoBongo Thu 30-Jul-09 22:20:00

sad you had that experience 2minds.

Just goes to show, OP, that whatever you do, you have no idea how it will turn out for your family.

Whatever you choose, read Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber & Mazlish - it's really, really helpful.

I've loved having small age gaps. It has been absolutely knackering, but more than worth it smile (oh, and same sex too, but very different personalities - not sure how different personalities precludes playing games together?)

CarGirl Thu 30-Jul-09 22:21:53

My eldest was 5.5 when I had dd2, I then had a 14 month gap and then a 2 year gap so had my youngest 3 within 3 years and 6 weeks.

No regrets, lots of benefits as they get older even though it's hard work when they are all little but at least you're not doing the school run etc.

in2minds Thu 30-Jul-09 22:32:10

None of mine ever want to play the same games though, if you start playing snap with one, the other two have a dicky fit that you aren't playing with them.
None of mine slept though and I think that makes a difference if we had another I would gaffer tape it to the cot mattress from 12 months onwards, attachment parenting nearly finished me off.

sweetkitty Thu 30-Jul-09 22:36:13

I have 18 months then 2 1/2 years I wanted a closer gap between 2 and 3 but it wasn't to be, there is 5 days under 4 years between all 3, I love the closeness of 1 and 2 they are the best of friends more like twins really, I am actually planning another one so DD3 doesn't feel so left out

spongebrainmaternitypants Thu 30-Jul-09 22:37:39

I'm pg with DC2 and will have 16 mth age gap. I am 37 so will be cracking on with ttc again next year - but have IF problems so not hopeful sad.

However, my mum had four under 3 and loved it - first my sister, then 17 mth age gap before I came along, and then 22 mth age gap before my twin brothers arrived. We were as thick as thieves as kids and mum said, despite the relentless nature of the first year or two, it was actually easier once we were older cos we never needed to be entertained!

I was the 'middle' child and have never felt deprived of affection from my parents or that I missed out on anything.

Good luck smile.

tvfriend Thu 30-Jul-09 22:40:58

My slight fear is twins- runs in the family and will be 'old'so more likely.
However TTC DD took forever and then DS came along v quickly so will be grateful whatever happens. (Remind me of this thread if I end up with 4 under 3 shock

tvfriend Thu 30-Jul-09 22:41:45

Thanks for all your quick replies btw (I shall pretend I didn't read in2minds!)

CarGirl Thu 30-Jul-09 22:46:32

well I'm not that attachment parenting kind of mum perhaps that's why I found it okay, tbh the youngest 2 have just sort of grown up on benign neglect!

lou031205 Thu 30-Jul-09 23:28:55

I have 20 months between each of my 3, so they are now 3.7, 23mo & 3 mo. It is very hard work (DD1 also has SN, so a bit like 23mo twins & 3 mo) but hopefully if I survive it, they will be close as they grow.

lockets Thu 30-Jul-09 23:43:00

Message withdrawn

bronze Thu 30-Jul-09 23:45:04

ds1- 20mths -ds2 -20mths- dd- 32mths -ds3

get it over and done with wink

bronze Thu 30-Jul-09 23:45:33

ds1- 20mths -ds2 -20mths- dd- 32mths -ds3

get it over and done with wink

bronze Thu 30-Jul-09 23:45:45

whoops- sorry

juuule Fri 31-Jul-09 08:22:17

2y7m between dc2 and dc4. (16m, 15m gaps)
3y1m between dc5 and dc7. (20m, 17m gaps)
Loved the small gaps.

soooobroody Fri 31-Jul-09 08:56:06

i had dd2 the 21mnth later dd3 29mnth later ds1 .. i didnt find it to hard work and mine play really well together

insywinsyspider Fri 31-Jul-09 21:58:27

I've got 19mo between ds1 and ds2 and then 18months between ds2 and ds3, ds3 is 6wks and I'm loving it, its hard work and relentless but I wouldn't change it for the world, already trying to work out how to ocnvince dh he would like just one more.... even numbers are best don't you think wink

FlamongoBongo Sat 01-Aug-09 06:55:07

I'm attachment parenty and still loved it! We just co-slept forever in a giant bed (king size next to single) until DD1 and DD2 moved into their room aged 5.5 and 4y - because we left it so late to encourage them strongly, it was very easy and stress-free. Now we have DD4 in with us in king size and DD3 on floor on single mattress next to us. We have a 3 bed house though and spare room is our store room, so only 2 bedrooms really. It works well for us though - we all get enough sleep and the DDs are close, I think, partly because of sharing sleep in the way they have for such a long time.

positiveattitudeonly Sat 01-Aug-09 07:47:56

We had 3 girls under 3 for 3 months! Loved it! Hard work, but well worth it. They have grown up together. It makes holidyas and days out easier as they are close enough in age to want to do the same sort of things. Went on to have 2 more. 5 in less than 6 years. smile Still sane, I think!!!!!hmm

catnipkitty Sun 02-Aug-09 20:17:04


We had twins when DD1 was 1 yr and 4 days old and it really was bloomin hard work for the first 2 years and i did suffer from PND which in retrospect i should've had treament for alot earlier than I did - would've made the whole experience so much better...anyway, that's a different story.

After that initial hard bit it's been fab - they are all girls and very close and I'm so proud of them all.

Now expecting no 4 so that'll be a rather bigger gap!

All I can say is follow your heart, you can never predict what will happen and you can worry about every eventuality til you're blue in the face.

C x

kittywise Sun 02-Aug-09 20:46:28

I can't remember all the gaps but ended up with 6 kids 8 years and under. F*cking hard work!

I'd have another tomorrow if I couldsmile

TheNatty Sun 02-Aug-09 20:51:42

i have a just turned 3 year old, a just turned 2 year old, and a 4 week old baby!

we wanted three close together because i have a family history of gyne problems, and alot of the women are infertile by late twenties so wanted as many as possible just incase its earlier.

its easy, certainly no harder then if one was at school, esp as we dont have to get dressed or go out if the baby has had me up all night.

my family thinks im mad, id have another if DH would let me

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