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I can't decide if I want a fourth

(40 Posts)
Loopymumsy Thu 30-Jul-09 21:25:39

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MummyDragon Thu 30-Jul-09 21:38:17

I can't decide if I want a third!

Your post makes me lean towards having another one ... smile

Sorry, not much help at all.

Can you afford it? If you got accidentally pregnant, what would your initial reaction be? If it would be elation, then I think you should go for it!

NotanOtter Thu 30-Jul-09 21:40:38

I always want another but am not a baby type
I love toddlers and children - teens less so but that's another threadwink

its only two years 'out of the loop' till you are back where you are now and for that you get a lifetime of love and fun

I already have 6 so not the one to ask wink

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Thu 30-Jul-09 21:44:06

I cant decide if I want a fourth either

the other problem I have is that I dont think dh odes

<drunken spilling of inner feelings>

I reckon you should but dont listen to me

actually how old are you???

how easily do you get pregnant??

maybe you could do it, in reality its only about 2 and a half years before you feel like you have your life back

largeginandtonic Thu 30-Jul-09 21:46:19

Go on.

4 is a great number.

Like Otter i have 7 so probably not a balanced view wink

NotanOtter Thu 30-Jul-09 21:52:26

agree with four being a good number

currently although we have 6 the spacing is more like 3 plus 3

therefore i think 4 would be good

anyone get my drift wink

Loopymumsy Thu 30-Jul-09 21:54:49

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largeginandtonic Thu 30-Jul-09 21:58:00

Argh... i need an 8th to even out the numbers BUT i just know it would be twins.

I am stopping.

Ponders Thu 30-Jul-09 21:59:16

I have 4; after 2 (both girls) we had supposedly finished & got rid of all the kit, but I was definitely hankering after 4 & we had 2 boys after that.

Our gaps are 3yrs, 3-and-a-bit years & nearly-5-years (ie only 1 baby at a time). Yes, a lateish baby does extend the amount of time you're dragging around piles of baby gear but 4 is a lovely family grin

soooobroody Fri 31-Jul-09 09:00:48

I have four and would love to go for no5 maybe even no6 .. i was settled with four until i asked my hubby to go and get his bits done ....he said he wanted more kids so now has me thinking the same .... my youngest is four and starting school in aug so i would have quite a big gap

positiveattitudeonly Fri 31-Jul-09 09:11:12

I've never heard anyone say they regret having more children, but I have heard many say they regret NOT having "just one more..."

Mum to 5, so slightly biased! hmm Agree about the teenagers though. I would rather 10 toddlers than a couple of hormonal teenagers anyday!!!! Sorry don't mean to put you off! smile

Loopymumsy Fri 31-Jul-09 09:20:06

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weblette Fri 31-Jul-09 09:26:33

I've four aged 9, 7, 5 and 19 months. It's always hectic but a real laugh. I hadn't planned on having four but looking back just having had three wouldn't have seemed right.

Don't want to really get my head round what having teenagers will be like but when we had work done on the house last year we did get an extra bathroom added and the kitchen reworked to fit in a a bigger cooker.

We have one girl, three boys. She was desperate for a sister but knows there's no way in heck I'm having #5

juuule Fri 31-Jul-09 09:47:08

"I've never heard anyone say they regret having more children, but I have heard many say they regret NOT having "just one more...""

This always sound s a bit flip to me. Would anyone really say that they regret having their children? I have heard people say that maybe life wouldn't have been so difficult if they hadn't gone for the 'just one more' quickly followed by 'but of course we wouldn't be without any of them' as obviously how could you wish one hadn't been born. That doesn't mean to say that the extra might not stretch someone to the limit or beyond.

Maybe not a popular thing to say and probably doesn't apply in the main but worth considering.

Loopymummy only you know what you feel would be right for you and your family. Obviously your dh thinks another one would be a great addition to the family. You don't sound so sure but sound as though you are willing to be persuaded.wink So perhaps there is room 'for just one more' in your family.

hollyfort Fri 31-Jul-09 09:48:50

weblette at what stage did your daughter start askin for the sister, i've the same as you 1 girl and 3 boys, she's 5, boys are nearly 4, nearly 2 and nearly 4 mths. She hasn't been askin for a sis yet!!! not too sure if she'll be gettin one tho!! did you ever feel after no.4 that it would be nice to have another girl or were you just totally content with your girl and 3 boys?

Loopymumsy Fri 31-Jul-09 10:36:05

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tullytwo Fri 31-Jul-09 10:45:40

I am in the same mind too but i have even bigger age gaps.

Am losing weight at the mo so that will take time and then get preganant etc could mean a nearly 15 year gap between my eldest and youngest with 2 in between.

This really has put me off the most as I just dont like the thought of them not growing up together.

Its a shame because I do feel like there is one missing.

damewashalot Fri 31-Jul-09 10:56:22

Not read all of the replies but I have four and I'd say go for it! If you both feel you would like another that is.

I have met so many older ladies that told me that they wanted 4, stopped at 3 and still regret it, some of these are in their 80's or 90's!

I have my 4 now and know I'm done, I feel different, after ds3 I would look at pg women or small babies and knew that I needed that again but those feelings have gone and selling nappies means I see a lot of both!grin but I don't get at all broody any more.
I think that you know when you get to the number that is right for you.
That said I am someone that wanted children not babies.
Not sure that is anything more than the incoherent ramblings of a sleep deprived man woman with 4 kids but never mind grin

weblette Fri 31-Jul-09 12:58:43

hollyfort - when #3 arrived and was very obviously not a sister :D

Loopy, not really although I've only just stopped feeding him at 19 months. If anything he's dragged up with all the rest so is growing up much more quickly. We don't stop doing things, he just comes along too.

He can certainly do things waaaay ahead of where the others did, I guess a lot through copying them. I need to remind myself to do the 'baby' stuff - nursery rhymes, games etc as I don't do it with the others now.

He's been probably the best mistake I ever made

NotanOtter Fri 31-Jul-09 21:14:00

weblette and holyfort i have 5 boys 1 girl - it is the boys who ask for a sister not the dd!

darydork Sat 01-Aug-09 15:43:56

Hi everyone, ive just joined this site 2day but have been reading your posts with interest for the last few days, im 35 next month with 3 kids, ds 7, dd 6, dd 20mths, i really thought until now that my family was complete but have been becoming increasinly broody over the last few weeks shock and just know now that im not done... had my implanon implant removed last week, dh would love another one aswell but we both have a small nagging doubt that 4kids just mite be one too many (for my sanity mainly) im perfectly sane (i think wink) but wondering if any of you lovely ladies who have 4 kids could help me out here and give me an insight to life with 4 kids please

Loopymumsy Sat 01-Aug-09 22:02:24

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BoffinMum Sat 01-Aug-09 22:11:50

I have just had a fourth. I am really enjoying it, actually. It is a lot easier tthan having 1, 2 or 3 because I have got them all trained up to help each other out now, and I know what I am doing as well. The other kids love the baby and entertain him for me. DD is happy to cuddle him endlessly, DS1 plays with him a lot and is happy to change nappies and/or put the washing in the machine and dryer (how cool is that???) and DS2 also plays with him and gets me drinks while I bf. There is less fighting in the house amongst the older kids, and they have about twice as many friends, as they all come over to see the baby. DS1 in particular was pleased to discover than when he carries the baby around, girls flock to be by his side. All in all I would recommend it. grin

BoffinMum Sat 01-Aug-09 22:13:17

PS Sometimes I do interactive parenting, sometimes I let them get on with it. It depends on the mood we're all in.

darydork Sat 01-Aug-09 22:22:32

hiya boffinmum thanks for your reply, sounds like you have it down to a tee, which is encouraging to hear, especially when you say that theres not as much fighting, im having a terrible time at the moment with my older two fighting, they cant be in the same room and i seem to spend my day seperating them angry. Its brilliant that all your kids have are so taken with the baby, what age are they all, and by the ways wots bf? Il have to get in on the abbreviations...

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