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Am i mad !? Going for that 5th baby?? HELP!!

(13 Posts)
mehimandthekids Tue 30-Jun-09 00:21:31

Hi all,
We have 4 children -all under 7, 2 girls and 2 boys. hubby works full time and i am a stay at home mom f.time.
We have been thinking of going for a 5th b4 time runs out!, Hubby is about to have an operation that will limit our future chances of baby 5 to about 20%, so it does feel a bit now or never. Or a rushed idea of "quick get pregnant!"
My house is tidy and clean and the bigger children(7 & 5) have gymnastics class's weekly, my 3 year old has p.t nursery and my 2 year old is with me most of the day. Generally no one miss's out on anything.
I love my kiddies and dont feel like i need to work or have time out from them to keep me sane, was even thinking of fostering when they all get big enough to leave home.

BUT, Can i have some advice from other moms of 5 -if its a mad idea!! - does 5 upset the balance?? As i think im worried it might, but a new addition cant be a bad thing surely?. Or should i let fate deal with us post op? Has anyone any practical tips on "how to do it all"!!(-or some of it!)
Or am i looking into this far too much?!
As you might be able to tell this is keeping me awake and driving me crazy!!
thanks all for any words of advice!

essjay1976 Tue 30-Jun-09 08:22:25

depends if you have the money to financial fund them later in life when they all want designer trainers and the lastest hoody, it would be unfair to have another child and allow the ones you have suffer. or you could always sponge off of the state and let them pay for everything!

the only other thing i holidays they will be very expensive!

i have 4 and i have no desire for more, we are very comfortable financially and to have another would be unfair.

TrinityRhino Tue 30-Jun-09 08:28:58

wow essjay thats rather a cutting first paragraph

no child needs designer and the sponging off the state comment is out of order

letsgostrawberrypicking Tue 30-Jun-09 08:38:45

I think once you get past 2/3 people think you are mad anyway- and you probably are grin (we have 5)

The only reason we had a fifth was because there was a big age gap between numbers 3 and 4 and didnt want 4 to be on his own. As it is DC5 is the most adored child and completes our family. I never knew the feeling of "that's enough dc for me" until I had him.

Tbh if you have 4 aged 7 and under I think you probably have all the tips anyway and could pass them on to us!!!

juuule Tue 30-Jun-09 09:44:10

Essjay shock
Are you in a bad mood at the moment?
Are your children harrassing you for designer stuffwink

Mehimandthekids if you feel like you could accommodate another into your family, that it wouldn't be detrimental to your existing children and you and your dh would be happy to do so then there's not really anything wrong with going for another one is there?[smile

mehimandthekids Tue 30-Jun-09 11:41:51

Hi all,
Thanks for the comments, all of what you are saying is what iam trying to weigh up.

Hubby is a high rank in the Army. He has a well paid, good job.
Thanks essjay- but we wont be "sponeing off the state".
I also have no intention of buying any designer items as i deem them a waste of money,and holidays are covered as we have a large caravan.
If these things mean that an additional child miss's out then i feel very sad as i feel we have all bases covered. I stated in my original question that no one miss's out.

My new dilema to add is that Hubby has just told me that in 8 weeks he's off to Afgan for 6mths, or untill next April. So if it is now or never then, either i will be pregnant, or even deliver without him.

I feel there are so many factors to weigh up b4 just going for it.
Or again - am i mad to think it???
thanks all , again!

juuule Tue 30-Jun-09 13:41:24

Sounds as though you have everything covered. I wouldn't even be hesitating at this point. You've 2 months to try before it's taken out of your hands. Might happen, might not but I would be giving it a good chance

But then I've got 9, so a going for a fifth (with all bases covered?) doesn't seem that mad to me

dottyaboutstripes Tue 30-Jun-09 16:37:32

I'd say go for it - it really sounds as though you'd regret not even having tried...

Bmum1 Tue 30-Jun-09 22:34:31

I have four aged five and under and couldn't even vaguely afford more (not entirely sure how we will pay for the ones we have, but we got twins by accident, so there you go), but if money were no object and my husband didn't object I am sure I would have kept going until nature made me stop. My children are what makes my world turn, and the more the merrier as far as I am concerned.

Whatever you decide good luck.

GhostOfPsychomum5 Tue 30-Jun-09 22:37:34

I have five.

three girls, two boys (that order), and altho hectic and loud and messy........I LOVE IT, and would not change it, for the world.

BottySpottom Sat 11-Jul-09 19:05:52

If it means your children won't get designer gear or the latest hoody I'd definitely go for it; I can't think of anything worse than children begging for designer gear grin.

Can't advise as we only have 3, but it sounds like now or never. Good luck!

Scorps Sat 11-Jul-09 19:11:19

oh yes, im sure everyone who had a happy childhood had designer things hmm

I'm pg with my 4th and dont think DH would go for a 5th....however you are already a SAHM, so no work leaving issues, you are still in the baby phase iyswim. Plus your others sound happy and healthy, your DH is willing....why ever not? grin

Scorps Sat 11-Jul-09 19:12:38

it would be sad to deliver without him, however, im sure you are excellent at new babyhood by now grin and could possibly manage with family/friend help?

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