What would you do?

[QueenBhannae]

I have had two very poorly babies and think it would be selfish of me to contemplate another but still really want one!
Fostering may be an option for us and we are going through the motions now but would you consider having another baby if two out of three had pphn at birth and were ventilated and critically ill.
The two that were ill at bitrth recovered and were discharged within a month of birth but one has been dx partially deaf (probably due to all the antibiotics at birth apparently?) and the other has autism.
Opinions please.
I am from a large family (eldest of seven ) and would love to go some way towards emulating that but not at the discomfort and risk to another baby.
I have five inc 2 (much)older stepchildren atm.

[Cynthia32]

I wouldn't tbh, sorry.

[KatieDD]

Honestly I think you have enough on your plate and even if the next one was perfectly healthy have you got enough help in your life to ensure the child doesn't spends it's childhood following you around to hospital, doctors appointments ?

[lulumama]

so you do have , in essence, a larger family...

only you know what you could cope with, and what your family support is like

how would you cope if your next child was even sicker, or god forbid, did not pull through?

it is an enormous decision, isn;t it? is there any ante natal testing that can be done to determine if yuor baby would have pphn ? or is it simply you wait for the birth and see?

what does your DH think?

[Ladytophamhatt]

agree with everything lulu said....

[QueenBhannae]

I know that it would be selfish and irresponsible to have another and was probably having one of those wobbles last night lol.
We will pursue fostering
Thanks for your honest opinions.

[lulumama]

i really hope the fostering works out

it sounds like you have a lot of love and care to give

[christie2]

Only you know how you would cope but I wouldn't rule it out. Talk to your doctor to see if there is a real risk and there is testing to see how things are progressing. It is like trying for a baby after miscarriage. some women cannot bear to try again and some try again. Depends on you and your family. I wish you well in this tough decision. (PS I did try again after miscarriages and have a baby).