some advice please??(8 Posts)
I don't know yet if 5 children counts as a 'large family' but i'm rather scared by the prospect of having my 5th child tbh.
anyway, the question i wanted to ask was about age gaps. My DD1 will be just about to go to uni when DC5 is born.
I'm rather worried because a) she is broody and has a long term BF and this may not help things!! and b) she may not feel she knows much about her youngest sibling and doesnt feel as much of a connection as she does with other dc's because of the age gap. this worries me. has anyone else experienced something similar to this?
my eldest is 21 and my youngest is 1yr
my eldest hasnt lived at home for about 6months but she still visits, also i find that because shes not living here she gets on better with all her younger siblings--even the baby,and baby is my 6th!!!
Rosbo: I don't have personal experience with this age gap but my SIL contends that her DD1 (who can also be broody) was put off by the arrival of DD4 (their 5th). Sometimes it helps to be reminded of just how much work a baby can be.
I would be more concerned about the different connection they may have BUT every sibling relationship is special and even if they don't live together they will still be able to relate to each other's stories as they become adults. You may be surprised by how great their relationship is.
I was assuming that 4 counted as "large", so I'm sure you count with 5. Congratulations I have no personal experience of this gap and I think I'd find it daunting as well, but what will be will be and it may well be useful for your eldest to get a reality check on the work involved in bringing up a baby! Also she can hopefully work off some of her broodiness on your child and then she gets to give it back. I was broody from the age of about 19, but didn't have my first baby til I was nearly 26 (we got 2 cats instead - still got one of them, he's nearly 17!).
I grew up as the eldest of 7, 5sisters and 1 brother. I was 16 when my mum had number 7 and cant say it was ever a problem or that it caused any problems! Much more mature and if anything i probably had much better bond with my baby sister than any of the others. I have 4 of my own and seems its the same here the eldest and youngest get on the best and ds1 absolutely dotes on dd2, has been fantastic ever since she was born. I would have loved to have a much older sister or brother to confide in, i'm sure it will be fine.
Christine, i've been broody all my life, and i think i always will be..i believe its because i grew up with lots of kids and i love babies and went on to work with kids..and have to say i was good at it.
I had my 1st at 21 and sadly had 2 miscarriages before having another 3 and i dont think i will be having any more, i'll just cuddle my friends babies!
My DS1 was 17 and DS2 was 16 when DS5 was born. They absolutely dote on him. He is 9 now and has a very special relationship with both of them-and thay are great for playing computer games with!
I've only just seen this thread. Mine are 22, 20, 18, 16 and 1
The eldest (DD1) has moved out and DS1 is at uni. Neither of them feel particularly connected to the baby and tend to be whining about the noise and the mess after a day at home. They've both said they don't ever want children
DS2 and DS3 live with us and are much more connected. DS2 has always been really good with her and this week DS3 had her for 2 days while I was at work because she has chickenpox.
DD1 is DD2's legal guardian, and all 4 of them are her godparents, to try to make them feel more involved.
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