Any single parents of larger families?

[chocolatcroissant]

I just need some reassurance and positive stories.

I'm currently 15 weeks with twins and dh has left.
We have 4 older children and I really don't know how I'm going to manage on my own.

I've just been burying my head in the sand for the last fortnight and hoping he'll change his mind and come back but I guess I need to work out how I'm going to deal with this now.

[notjustamother]

Hi, not quite the same situation but I have 3 older children (5-10 years) and a baby. Ex left when baby was 4 months old. I won't lie it's been hard work, it took me perhaps a month to get into a good routine. I've also had to learn to accept help from friends and family more than I would normally be comfortable with (but they wouldn't offer if they didn't want to help - or so they say!) it's been an emotional rollercoaster - baby is now 9 months old and I still struggle at times but generally more with anger at the whole situation as he upped and moved in with another woman and her kids rather than the practicalities of day to day. I hope your okay.

[mummycubs]

Hi lovely. I have six kids (DD1=3, DD2 and 3= 2 and DS1/2 and DD4= nearly 3 months). My ex left around nine months ago and I found out I was pregnant with the triplets four months after (at six months along the pregnancy . Despite all efforts to tell him, him and his mother have refused contact and have both moved away, my ex with his girlfriend and their new baby .

I won't lie to you, it's hard. It's going to kill you and hurt you and make you so frustrated, especially doing it alone, but it'll get better. You have four older kids to help you with your twins and you'll find yourself getting so close to all of your kids because you're the only parent they can really rely on.

Positive stories, well, my kids are all better off without their dad. DD1 is doing brilliantly at nursery and dancing and will be learning spanish next term at her nursery. DD2 and 3 are so alike and different at the same time and every day is truly an adventure with them and their big sister. All three of them are so close (considering they're only seven months apart because of premature births) and they're all best friends already. I love seeing them all together and quite often the four of us have a girls film night with some snacks and our matching pyjamas (disney onesies, the girls adore them and I managed to find some matching for the triplets too!). My triplets are only three months old but I know they're going to grow up with some of the best role models. My sons might not have their dad around, but they have my dad and their uncles and they also have their sisters, their aunts, their grandmother and me to help them. I don't think they're going to miss out, not when their father is so shit.

All I can really say is make sure you check in with yourself. It's going to be really hard but the rewards will be worth it. You're bound to struggle (don't we all) but I can assure you that all of your struggling and sacrificing is worth it when your kids achieve something magical.

Just make sure you take an hour to yourself as often as you can, even if it is sending the kids to your family just to have a nap or binge your favourite program or to get a bath in peace.

I hope everything goes well and I think your kids are really lucky to have you as their mother! Merry christmas to you and yours