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DH wants another child

(12 Posts)
Girlie89 Fri 13-Sep-19 10:09:09

I need some advice.
I have two children aged 10 and 8. I’ve recently turned 30 and my partner has thrown into a few conversations recently that he would like to have another baby.
We have a small 2 bed house (which we plan to extend), I have recently started a degree and my partner is also self employed (doing extremely well).
I feel completely undecided as I feel we are starting to get ourselves back a little. Being able to go out and not worrying if they have settled with their grandparents. Taking the kids places they both enjoy. The children are more independent and before we know it they will be starting secondary school. I can’t help but think we would be “starting all over again” where the other two will be leaving home we- will still have a little one! I also had 2 csections, one an emergency. So I’m aware of the risks of having another.
Another side of me is saying I’m being ridiculous and would love to have another. Our two weren’t exactly planned so maybe I feel scared as this one would be! Obviously I’m so grateful for what we have now. I’d really appreciate any advice smile or if anyone else has been in this situation? Thanks and sorry for the long post! X

hormonesorDHbeingadick Fri 13-Sep-19 10:17:10

I wouldn’t have another if I was you. Babies are hard on your body not DH’s and you’re just coming out the other side of the difficult years. There would be a big financial impact. You can offer two children so much more in terms of experience and things including their own bedrooms as well as your time.

hormonesorDHbeingadick Fri 13-Sep-19 10:17:44

But that’s what I would do. Do you want another child?

FlashAHHHH Fri 13-Sep-19 10:20:22

Never mind him, he does t have to do the majority of the leg work!

What do you want?

Yoohoo16 Fri 13-Sep-19 10:20:38

If I didn’t 100 % want one I wouldn’t. I’ve only got the one who’s very young still and want another but if mine were 10 and 8 though, I’d feel exactly the same. You’re starting to get your life back.

Rachelover60 Fri 13-Sep-19 10:26:14

I agree with the above posters.

Girlie89 Sat 14-Sep-19 09:13:56

Thanks everyone. Sometimes I do think another would be lovely and maybe if the other two were younger I would have felt differently. But they are older and I do want some sort of social life again, not to mention the toll it takes physically especially the fact I would be facing another c-section- recovery time from that is no easy task as some of you will know. Thanks again everyone, will have to have a good talk about it with DH.

Rachelover60 Mon 16-Sep-19 00:20:32

Good.
Girlie you have a lot going for you as you are at the moment.
flowers

Cantrip Sun 22-Sep-19 17:21:22

It has to be what you want.
My children are 15, 13, 11 & 9, and husband and I HAVE made the decision to “start again” as I’m expecting number 5. I’ve already had 3 sections, and to be honest that was the only thing that really held me back when we were making the decision. In the end though, after 23 years together (& kids are GGBB so it’s not like I’m trying “trying for an X”), it was the thing I wanted most!

Girlie89 Thu 26-Sep-19 21:46:46

Rachelover60 I couldn’t agree more! x
Cantrip do you mind me asking how old you are? (not like that matters when having another child!). Wow so this will be your 4th section? It’s no easy ride is it. Yes I agree it has to be what I want, maybe in a couple of years I may change my mind, who knows? At the moment I do feel I’m happy with what I have. smile thank you all. It’s good to go somewhere for a little unbiased advice xxx

Cantrip Thu 26-Sep-19 23:21:49

@Girlie89 - I’m 41, will be a few months off 42 when this one is due to make an appearance. I do dread another section, as I’m very squeamish, and we live out in the sticks so not being able to drive causes real issues. All worth it though, as long as baby arrives safely 😍

Girlie89 Fri 27-Sep-19 15:07:54

As long as you have good support I’m sure all will be fine, for you and baby 🥰 wishing you all the best! Do let us know how you get on ❤️

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