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When to have a 4th child

(6 Posts)
Hannahlouise4026 Tue 06-Aug-19 13:23:31

I know it’s hard to plan as it could take a long time, but looking for advice.
I have 3 atm - ds 5y10m, dd 4y8m, and ds 4m. Always thought that we would have 3 and that would be it, but we are both keen to have another. Both myself and husband are 30, so young enough to wait a few years. I worry that leaving a bigger gap again will make it more difficult. At the moment my eldest two play together and then if we had a another soon I guess the younger two would, hopefully?
Wwyd in our position?

Keykeche Tue 06-Aug-19 14:24:43

I have a big age gap between first 3 (both mine and OHs) and a baby.

They are 11,10, 9 and 3.

Given the choice I’d have the 4th one straight away.

Oldest ones are great looking after the toddler, but if I had a choice, I’d rather had 4th with a smaller age gap.

chopchopquick Tue 06-Aug-19 16:12:43

I had a small gap between dc1&2 the a big gap between dc2&3. I loved the small gap and the big gap has been a challenge. In an ideal world we would have had a much smaller gap but it was circumstantial. If we were to have dc4 I wouldn’t leave it as long as last time. I wonder if the older pair and younger pair would play together in 2s to.

Cecilia2016 Sun 15-Sep-19 19:00:00

I have 4 and after having 3 girls we thought we were done but decided to go for the fourth one. If I was in your position I would have the fourth abit close to the third and done with the babies. I have 5 years age gap between my third and fourth and it was like starting again. My children are aged DD15, DD12, DD10 & DS 5

DCIRozHuntley Sun 22-Sep-19 10:55:29

My Plan A (which luckily for me worked out - I know not everyone can plan gaps and ttc can take a while) was that I didn't want preschooler when my eldest was in secondary school. My youngest will start reception as DD starts in year 7. I'll have done 11 years at home / very part time working and I'll be ready to move on from that phase.

You are set up quite well to have two pairs of two with the eldest two being so close together. A similar age gap again might work well.

Cantrip Sun 22-Sep-19 16:56:40

When I had number 4, the older 3 were 16 months, 3 years 7 months & 5 years 3 months. I’m now expecting number 5, and far more concerned about the huge gap (number 4 will be 10 years 4 months when number 5 is due!!) this time, then I ever was about the 4 close together!!

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