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Bedroom drama!

(66 Posts)
0MrsP Wed 03-Jul-19 15:31:55

So we currently live in a 4 bed house.. 3 large doubles and 1 very small double. We have.

17 year old boy
16 year old boy
9 year old boy
6 month old baby.

Currently 17yr old has the smaller of the larger bedrooms.
The baby has just moved into the second biggest bedroom.
The 16yr old and 9yr old only stay with us for weekends so they share the smallest.

They are all moving in permanently this weekend and bedrooms are causing so many rows!

Everywhere is freshly decorated.. the nursery is done out for a baby, the other rooms are neutral colours. It's a sudden surprise having the middle 2 move in with us.

Who would you put where?

Cannyhandleit Wed 03-Jul-19 15:34:06

Baby in smallest room and middle 2 sharing one of the bigger rooms, or 16 & 17 year old sharing.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Wed 03-Jul-19 15:36:04

Surely the obvious answer is to have baby in with you for a while longer. Will either the 17 or 16 year old be off to uni in a few years as if so that would free up a room for the then 2/3 year old to move into.

thinkofausernameplease Wed 03-Jul-19 15:37:55

16 and 17 year old have their own rooms, 9 year old has smallest of the rooms, baby in with you

Spanglyprincess1 Wed 03-Jul-19 15:40:49

God no. I wouldn't have my 1 year old. In same room as me he would never sleep again.
Bigggest room for two sibling brothers to share, second for older boy smaller for bbay, as toddler beds are smaller.
The oldest ones will move out/uni shortly so in a few years you can re jig it.
It also means full siblings only are sharing and they are used to this at your house already. It does me redecorating though which is a pain.

Whathappenedtooursummer Wed 03-Jul-19 15:42:10

Would the 9 yo share with the baby? My 9yo shared with a toddler and loved it!

PatricksRum Wed 03-Jul-19 15:44:31

Each have own rooms. Baby sleeps with you. By the time baby is ready for their own room hopefully eldest will have moved out

0MrsP Wed 03-Jul-19 15:48:00

Baby can't be in our room.. he doesn't sleep in with us.. I think his dads snoring keeps him awake, and his next to me is too small for him now and I can't fit anything bigger in the room.

None of them want to share, except the youngest wants to share with the baby.. but the baby still has bad nights and we have teething to come..I worry that them sharing would be disruptive to 9yr olds sleep.

17yr old says he's moving out if he has to share.. although he has nowhere to go.. apparently he can afford a flat with his 16hr job at Tesco 😂 bless him!

AliceRR Wed 03-Jul-19 15:49:38

It’s not as simple as looking at their ages and deciding. What do they want to do (other than the obvious of wanting a room to themselves)? Are any me them more inclined to share or closer? I have three female cousins, sisters, all three years apart. The eldest and youngest were always the closest and the middle one doesn’t get along with either. When they were younger the eldest and youngest shared the double room and the middle one had the box room to herself. When their younger brother came along they swapped around (eldest two during and youngest two sharing) but it didn’t work well and the eldest two don’t even speak!

AliceRR Wed 03-Jul-19 15:51:26

Put the youngest with the baby then in the biggest room and let them share. I don’t think there’s a perfect solution for you but it’s certainly not an impossible taskt

AliceRR Wed 03-Jul-19 15:51:39

task even

ThePhoenixRises Wed 03-Jul-19 15:56:45

2 youngest in the nursery together

17 & 16 year olds bedroom each

lpchill Wed 03-Jul-19 16:00:46

Do you have a lounge or dinning room where part or all of it is unused? Could section it off or put up study wall with a cheap door to make into a room for the oldest

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Wed 03-Jul-19 16:03:45

If none of them want to share then do you have a dining room or reception room you could use as an extra bedroom? I wouldn't have the 9 year old share with a 6 month old it wouldn't be fair on him to be disturbed every night.

DaisiesAreOurSilver Wed 03-Jul-19 16:05:26

Let 17 year old move out. He'll be back begging for any room at all.

You are the adults and you get to decide. It isn't a democracy.

AliceRR Wed 03-Jul-19 16:07:01

If you don’t want baby and youngest to share then oldest two can share. Presumably one or both might go off to uni soon? I wouldn’t give up half my lounge because the children don’t think it’s acceptable to share a bedroom. I was lucky in that I was one of two children and always had my own room but it’s not always possible.

TixieLix Wed 03-Jul-19 16:14:33

I'd have the 16 and 9 yr olds sharing the largest double as they sound as though they are full siblings and are used to sharing. Maybe some sort of partitioning to give some privacy. 17yr old in another large double and baby in the smallest double. Eldest two may not 'want' to share, but it's your house and you and DH get to decide (whilst taking their opinions into account as best you can).

Dinosauratemydaffodils Wed 03-Jul-19 16:20:13

None of them want to share, except the youngest wants to share with the baby.. but the baby still has bad nights and we have teething to come..I worry that them sharing would be disruptive to 9yr olds sleep.

Depends on how sound a sleeper he is. My 1 year old has shared with her big brother since she moved out of our room at 7 months old (only way we could all sleep on the same floor). She hasn't disturbed him once although when I went into labour with her, dh managed to carry sleeping ds out of bed, downstairs and into the car without waking him so it might just be him.

mrsm43s Wed 03-Jul-19 16:33:50

If its a 4 bed house, presumably it has a dining room or similar that could be converted or if funds allow and house is suitable, a garage conversion/loft conversion.

In a different world, the 17 and 16 year olds would share. But because they are not full siblings, and the age that they are having to make the changes, I don't think its really reasonable to expect any of the children to share at this time. I would say baby in with you is preferable to anyone sharing (even though this will take an adjustment period) or following that, then the two full siblings. But I'd do anything to avoid making them share tbh.

daphine2004 Wed 03-Jul-19 16:35:47

Could you split one of the larger doubles into two singles? That way they all get a room.

MeanMrMustardSeed Wed 03-Jul-19 16:38:01

My answer would depend on whether they were all full siblings, or if there are half siblings. It reads as it the 16 and 9 year old are half siblings to the baby and then the 17 year old is also a half sibling to the baby, burn not to the middle brothers?

0MrsP Wed 03-Jul-19 16:38:29

The 9 yr old is a light sleeper which Is why I'm not keen on him sharing with the baby.. that would be the easiest solution everyone will have what they want but the baby still has night feeds and will often be awake in the night.. not necessarily crying but laughing and chattering away which I usually just leave him to do.

I have a conservatory but it isn't ideal for a bedroom.. it can be too hot/cold and is directly on the living room which doesn't give much privacy.

I will make the decision and they will have to accept it but I just worry that they may feel I'm biased to my own child and I really would hate them to think that. It's the reason they're coming to live with us, they feel left out in their current home, it's so sad for them. They spend all their grandparents while their mum plays happy families with her new children I really want t to do everything to make sure they don't feel that way here.

Moving is an option.. financially we could.. but it would mean no holidays.. we go abroad once and year and have camping holidays too.. whereas they would all value their own spaces.. I feel family holidays and days out are much more valuable.. it seems too much upheaval to move house for the sake of a few years.

They 2 moving in have had so much upset.. I just want them to be happy and settled which is why it's such a hard decision!

MeanMrMustardSeed Wed 03-Jul-19 16:39:03


HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Wed 03-Jul-19 16:41:44

I don't think its really reasonable to expect any of the children to share at this time.

Me either it's going to be hard enough adjusting to having the two middle boys living there full time without expecting them to share on top of that. Especially as they are used to having their own rooms. I think ensuring they have their own space to escape to if they are finding the new living arrangements challenging would be very sensible.

AliceRR Wed 03-Jul-19 16:42:56

I feel like OP is avoiding the DC v DSC details which I can understand but it might be relevant. It would make more sense for the brothers to share probably but then if your two have their own rooms and they both have to share it’s not ideal

Perhaps discuss with their dad (I’m guessing) and decide something then stick it it. It sounds like someone will not be happy

Also I think it is natural (although not ideal) that would would have bias towards your own children. It’s natural but you do need to try to treat them all equally

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