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Starting at 29 can I get to 4 and how would you space them?

(25 Posts)
Leleophants Tue 18-Jun-19 19:59:38

All experiences welcome!

Inniu Tue 18-Jun-19 20:01:48

I had one at 30, twins at 32 and a fourth at 38.
If I hadn’t had twins I probably would have done 30,32,34,36

Squirrelsinmypants Tue 18-Jun-19 20:12:41

I had one at 31, one at 34 , one at 35 and last one at 39.
Like Inniu I would have spaced them 2 years apart each. The accumulated lack of sleep from no.2 and 3 was dreadful.

MrsXyzAbc Tue 18-Jun-19 20:14:39

My parents spaced us all 2.5 years apart... it's not always that easy or predictable though as your body & lots of other factors can dictate

PerfectPeony2 Tue 18-Jun-19 20:16:38

See how you manage with one. I thought I wanted a big family.. DD comes along, I adore her and she’s my world but oh my god- 4 would be hell on earth.

tostaky Wed 19-Jun-19 06:57:04

That's a very odd question... Have one child first and see how you like it/manage it....

Raver84 Thu 20-Jun-19 07:09:07

I've 4 that I had in 7 years. It was and is really really hard and not for everyone. Go 1or 2 and decide but you will need to crack on With it. I had 2 losses along the way so 6 pregnancies in that time. I had my 4th at 33.

LadyGardens Thu 20-Jun-19 07:12:16

I had one at 31, two at 33 and now I’m 37 and about to have twins.

sweetkitty Thu 20-Jun-19 07:20:51

I started at 29 and finished just short of my 35th birthday so 4 in under 6 years. The gaps were 18 months, 2 1/2 years (with a mc inbetween) and 22 months.

It was hectic, we have no family support so just DH and me, DH is great I couldn’t have had 4 DC with a man who wasn’t prepared to do 50% of the work. Mine were all good sleepers, all BF and coslept for at least the first year which meant I slept. What else? Oh it wrecked my body, my pelvis is still recovering 9 years later but that could be me. You will never be rich they cost a fortune, I was a SAHM for 12 years as childcare for 4 is too expensive, you always need a 7 seater and a big house. Holidays cost a bomb too, we take up a row on a plane and 2 hotel rooms.

Nothing in life is guaranteed though, start with your first and see how you go from there, best of luck

Yinyen Thu 20-Jun-19 07:30:15

Most the people I know who actively wanted 4 had 2 and stopped. Most the people I know with 4 had a lovely accident at some point. (We have a lovely accident grin) It's hard bloody work and very expensive having 4 (especially cars, holidays and if you want them to have separate rooms...ours don't.) That said spacing wise if one can sort such things. 2.3 year gaps between each.

MissSmiley Thu 20-Jun-19 13:34:53

I had first at 30 and fifth at 37 but that include unexpected twins and a surprise!
I know people who wanted four but stuck at two

Lost5stone Thu 20-Jun-19 13:38:04

In theory I'd do them every 2 years too but see how you go with 1 first. I wanted 3 but we will definitely be stopping at 2 now!

wonkylegs Thu 20-Jun-19 13:45:55

My mum had 4
Starting she had one at 32, (me)
then my brother at 36,
then my sister at 39
And my 'baby' brother at 42
All healthy babies & fairly easy pregnancies
She thought I was a young'un when I had my first at 29.

OddBoots Thu 20-Jun-19 13:47:24

As someone with teens going through exams I would say avoid 2 school year gaps.

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 20-Jun-19 13:48:07

I had five within four years . If find it much easier when close in age.

firstimemamma Thu 20-Jun-19 13:51:34

You might not want 4 once you're a mum.

I used to have my heart set on 3 children but now my ds is here and I know the realities of motherhood I only want 1 more (my fiancé feels the same). I know other mums who feel the same.

On the other hand you might have 1 and love the idea of keeping going until 4. You just never know.

Why don't you have 1 and reassess things then? Good luck smile

HerculesMulligan Thu 20-Jun-19 13:54:14

It's impossible to predict, OP. I married at 28 and was sure we'd try to have 3, but we had many miscarriages, health concerns, job uncertainty and various other external factors at play. Now I'm 39 and expecting my second child in the autumn and to be honest, I think that's probably the right number for us.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Thu 20-Jun-19 13:56:09

We always thought we'd want four. Had one, started talking straight away about having a second, achieved that - 20 month gap - didn't take long before I concluded two was enough! Two hands, two knees, two ears, two eyes - two is manageable. This is advice I was given by a woman with three children. It seemed like sound common sense to me in those sleep-deprived early years and I've never regretted it. I had some complications in both the first two pregnancies/births and everything was OK in the end. The clincher for me was what would happen if I had less luck the third time. I thought about the impact on our whole family and concluded that was a risk I didn't want to take.

Good luck!

sweetkitty Fri 21-Jun-19 18:41:52

DH wanted four, I was between three or four, DD3 was such a dream baby we decided to have a fourth when she was 3 months, waited until she was 12 months before TTC. Never regretted it but it is hard work at times.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Fri 21-Jun-19 18:43:35

How many do you have? Its easy saying you want four, til the time the first one pisses in your mouth at nappy change and you have to look after them whilst suffering from the flu. Why plan so much?

MeanMrMustardSeed Fri 21-Jun-19 18:50:58

Had 4 between 30 and 39. Had different gaps - 2, 3 and 4 years. I planned for one every two years, but I couldn’t have been the parent I wanted to be if we’d gone for that. I wanted and needed at least a year / eighteen months of rest / sleep and a break from breastfeeding. It’s worked brilliantly for us.

Travelban Fri 21-Jun-19 20:48:08

I had 4 in 5 years.. 32,34,36 and 37.

It was really hard work, especially with no family around, and it is very expensive.

Mine are now 14,13,11 and 9..(nearly 10).

Fresh01 Sat 22-Jun-19 21:24:56

I had my first at 30 then 32, 34 and 36. Youngest was born a month before the eldest turned 6. It has been busy but it has worked for us.

DCIRozHuntley Sat 22-Jun-19 21:30:08

I have 4 children. There's 7 years 4 months between the eldest and youngest. It didn't feel rushed at all and doesn't feel like I've been constantly pregnant or anything. I'd have had them closer together but extended breastfeeding meant my periods didn't come back until 18 months postpartum each time.

4under4our Sat 22-Jun-19 21:38:15

Had one at 25, 26, 27 and 28.

Not for everyone but works for us and means I can be a SAHM to all of them whilst they're little without being out of work for 10 years or more.

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