Experiences with having 5 children(45 Posts)
I have 4 DC ages 7,5,3 and 6 mths. I love having 4 so much that I am considering a 5th. I am 37 so time is not on my side and will need to TTC sooner rather than later if we decide to go ahead. What are people's experience with having 5 children both negative and positive?
Thanks in advance!!
...there is always enough love to go around No. Not always.
I'm the eldest of 5 and I was very lonely and determined I would never have a large family because I wasn't cared for or loved. I was made to be the 'standy-by' babysitter and moderator when I was too young and alienated my siblings by being the one who tried to keep order. They resented it and it has affected my relationship with them throughout my life.
I have 5 and am a single mum too. There are moments when it's great lol! I wouldn't change it for the world. I get loads of guilt moments, but recently got my head around gulit doesn't change anything, I've got what I've got a lovely family. Xxx
Thank you! Same to you, if you decide to go for it
Thanks to all who responded. Some interesting perspectives/thoughts.
Congrats on your pregnancy BirthdayKake, hope all goes great for you.
I'm 27 weeks pregnant with number 5 and even though I have quite bad anxiety some days, I'm not particularly worried about how difficult it will be with one more
I've always tried to raise independent children, especially when I find out I'm pregnant again. My DC help in the house and with the pets and sometimes with each other.
When the baby is born, my four will be (almost) 11, 8, 6 and 3. This is the first baby with my husband so I'm not ruling out a sixth, if we can create another bedroom somewhere.
The over population thing is about 2 adults = 2 children. Any more and the population of the planet is growing.
I suppose some people may not have known how serious climate change is before they had kids. You can’t very well send them back! But encouraging someone to have a fifth child is ridiculous, there is no need apart from a selfish want. Better to stop and give the kids you have the best life you can, which involves being very environmentally aware right now.
FWIW, as a family, we are very ecologically aware and as anyone with school age DC will know, this generation are being educated differently about this subject and know their stuff - my young DC often challenge my thinking on various points. These are the young bright minds who are going to be employed in these areas and paying taxes to fund it.
Have I missed something? People who are preaching about overpopulation, why do you get to decide how many children is 'allowed'? If you're that concerned about it, why did you have any at all?
Sorry but I’m with @Soontobe60 too.
There are three main things we can do for our planet.
Turn your heating down, don’t fly and don’t have more than 2 offspring.
Taxes won’t help the planet.
I was one of three and had two children. Never wanted any more but a friend of mine was one of 8 and a work colleague 1 of 6. Both the eldest children in those families had to help a lot with the younger ones and felt very resentful and blamed their parents. I don't know how people manage with more than two children to give them individual attention and provide financially for them and have some time for yourself and your partner/hobbies/work etc. There is simply not enough time to fit everything in. Also as they get to adults how would you be able to help with childcare or grandchildren etc. Common sense would say the numbers would increase exponentially.
@TrySinging neither. I have only realised recently how f*cked we are. Am not saying that if I'd known then what I know now I wouldn't have had them but my dh would.
Honestly the only thing that would hold me back is the idea that the fifth child might not be healthy or NT. Having a child with a physical disability or a SEN would completely change the dynamic of our whole family and as awful as it sounds, I think it would make me wish I hadn’t done it. We have been so incredibly lucky - I wouldn’t want to push it.
I'm one of 5 and although I love my siblings and we were well cared for I do think that with a bigger family comes sacrifices. For example I had to give up a hobby that I was quite talented in when my youngest sibling came along because my mum couldn't take me to the shows etc. I don't feel that we had 1:1 parent time either and although I have a great relationship with my parents one of my siblings (middle child) felt very overlooked growing up.
@Frazzled2207 Gosh, if you feel so strongly about it, why did you contribute to the problem and have 2 DC then? Or have you decreed that that having 2 DC is perfectly fine but more than that is Bad?
@TrySinging I most definitely do not have a guilt free existence or fat private pension. I try my best to limit my carbon footprint but its pretty tough going with two children.
Within the next few years we will all have to start living our lives very differently and I don't mean by "just" driving electric cars. The sooner we all come to realise this the more hope there is for all of us(as there currently isn't very much at all).
Yes, wonderful. Your naivety is astounding. Read the IPCC report and then see whether you think it’s something not to worry about.
It’s your kid’s lives you’re jeopardising at the end of the day. Carry on if you will, but it won’t be long until you realise how much you wished you’d listened.
Would also like to say that I wish people going on about the planet would just piss off. They must all live perfect, guilt-free existences, leaving no carbon footprint behind them and all have sizeable private pensions . I will concede the time thing though. There really isn't enough time to go round, unless you are willing to give up pursuing any personal interests.
In 10 years time there is going to be catastrophic damage to the planet if we don’t do something radical and very soon. Do you really want to be adding another child into the mix? How are you going to manage becoming as carbon neutral as possible in the mean time?
This isn’t scaremongering btw, there’s a comprehensive report www.ipcc.ch/ here. Read this before you even consider burdening the planet with anymore children. Think of the kids you already have, surely you want them to be able to grow and flourish into tax paying citizens? They can’t do that if they don’t have a planet to live on.
I'm the 3rd of 5 and we are all very close in age (biggest gap is under 2 years). Even though money wasn't a concern and my parents had lots of help, I was very aware that there wasn't really much time for my parents to spend with each of us, unless there was some kind of crisis. Of the 5 of us, none of us have more than 3 kids. In your situation, I'd get a dog.
We have 5 DC (17,14, 12, 9, 5). Personally, it's too hard! Although our 5th DC is really pretty easy going, going from 4 to 5 was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, in terms of being able to keep on top of everything and also my body recovering. She also ends up being left out as DC1 and 2 pair up and so do 3 and 4. None of our DC have any health issues, but I lived in fear during my pregnancy with DC5 as I felt like I was gilding the lily.
I should add I really love it, but I just never imagined it.
I thought, by having four close together, I was getting the hard bit out of the way <hollow laugh> .
Remember they will all need university costs paid! Even if money is ok now, circumstances change so unless you are sitting on a multi million pound trust fund I hope you have very good insurance. H's leave u expectedly because they "want other things" people get sick, ... don't want to sound negative but 4 is a lot of kids already for the planet.
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