Bedrooms for kids and stepkids

[frankiefumbles]

I'm pregnant with my first child. And planning prematurely!

Hubby and I have talked about having more than one. If I do this, for logistical reasons, I'd like them to be as close together as possible. Yes, I realise that will be a nightmare! Hubby has one non-bio child and one bio child with his ex - DSD 16 and DSS 9. DSD has only stayed with us on Christmas Eve for the last two years.

Currently we have a four bedroom house. We have the main bedroom, two bedrooms set up as double/king guest bedrooms where one is done to suit DSD and a special room for DSS who stays perhaps one day a week.

I believe (rightly or wrongly!) that children should ideally have a bedroom to themselves - I would either want to move house to let this happen or alternatively not have the extra child if we were unable to cater for it. I would be prepared to compromise in the early days while they are toddlers however given we have four bedrooms, I would like to earmark the two guest bedrooms for the baby-to-be and the second child I hope we would have. DSD wouldn't have a room here anymore. DSS would, because he is a more frequent guest. I believe in the last five or so years DSD has slept at the house fewer than 5 times.

Is it unfair to reallocate the room DSD uses once a year? When baby 1 arrives I would like to use the main guest room as the nursery as it's next to the main bedroom. When baby 2 potentially comes, baby 1 would be moved in to what is vaguely termed as DSDs room and baby 2 would go in the nursery.

We could still keep the nursery room so that it can be made up in to a guest room (my intention is to keep a double bed in the nursery and allow guests in that room, if I were to move the baby in to our room for one night or even let the guests have the main bedroom and we go in with the baby).

In terms of time scale I imagine it would be another three years almost before this would happen, so DSD may well be away at uni by then. I realise I'm over planning but our relationship with DSD isn't great and so I don't want to do anything to spark her feeling pushed out. Equally if she doesn't ever stay over, it's a bit mad keeping a room for her because as much as we have four bedrooms we are tight for space. Should we actually be looking to get a five bed house just so DSD still has a room? Have I lost my marbles?!