Is 5 children a lot harder than 4?

[upsideup]

Anyone have 5 DC? Is it much harder than 4?
Our youngest has just turned 3 and we are trying to figure out if we are done or want just one more.

[blastomama]

I wouldn't imagine so. I find once you get past three its just a horde either way!

[Tsotofamily]

I've got 4dc cant imagine 5 dc being any harder

[athingthateveryoneneeds]

Nah. Many hands make light work. :) Baby is very entertained by the older dc and entertaining to them.

[upsideup]

Thanks thats what we thought, we found the jump from 1 to 2 the hardest and 3 and 4 are a lot easier. Our eldest is only 10 though, so we would have 5 children rather than little ones and teens who could help out a bit.

[FallenAngel89]

I have 4 and currently 15 weeks with number 5. I'm sure the baby will fit in with no trouble at all. My eldest will just be starting secondary school when baby arrives 😊

[happy2bhomely]

Depends on the baby surely? And the age gap.

We've got 3 years between number 4 and 5. 12 years between the first and the last.

If you have a fifth who is healthy, sleeps well, and is generally happy then it is going to be a completely different experience to a baby with health issues, who wakes the house 8 times every night and is a misery during the day!

I didn't find it much harder but I don't like the idea that one more won't make a difference. You are adding a whole new person to a family, of course it will make a difference. Every time you have another you are mixing it all up and you have to settle into a new way of doing things. It will cause a certain amount of disruption and it depends what stages your others are at.

Not that I would discourage someone from going for a fifth. Ours is like the cherry on top of what was already a really lovely cake!

[neddle]

Honestly? I think my fifth tipped me over the edge.
I wanted her and I think she completes our family wonderfully (gbbbg), and I wouldn't want to have never had her, but things are so much different now.
The pregnancy was tiring, I had horrendous ms with all of them and she was born late august of a very hot summer. I couldn't do anything with the others over the school holiday and I was exhausted.
Five children are a lot of work when they're older. Another baby slots right in. But now when she's three, she's full on. The older two (16,12) are at different secondary schools, then one at juniors, one in infants and the youngest in preschool. I need help getting them all to school from my mum and dh and I have to do a school run each in the afternoon as the finishing times clash.
Out of school activities meant we had to buy a second vehicle as we couldn't manage the logistics otherwise.

Think long and hard about how things are now and how they'll change as the children get older. Our second starting at secondary was the biggest catalyst in changing things at home. He couldn't go to the same school as his sister as she's at a girls school.

[athingthateveryoneneeds]

I agree that the logistics need to be worked out, but I was already used to juggling school runs etc so it just seems to work out. The first few months trying to get a small baby used to the family routine is hard, not going to lie! But it's not terrible, either. One thing having a large family has taught me is flexibility - because nothing stays the same for long.

[happy2bhomely]

Good point neddle.

Mine are now 4, 8, 10, 14 and 17. You need to consider what parenting a few teenagers at the same time will be like. Clubs, lifts, homework, pocket money etc. Obviously, with 4 you have already considered all of this but it is a reminder that it isn't just about managing another baby.

I'm already worried about the 8 and 10 year old being in year 11 and 13 at the same time! After going through the exam period with the eldest last year it made me realise what we have to look forward to.

Children obviously change as they get older. Little children tend to have little problems and big children tend to have big ones. They become less work physically and need more emotional support.

By the time my youngest is 18, I will have been actively parenting children for 31 years. I wouldn't change it but if I'm honest I do worry about housing them as they get older. I've always had the attitude that there is always room for a little one, but they don't stay little for long! With the way the housing market is I can see it is quite likely that we might have a 16, 19, 21, 25 and 28 year old, living at home still at some point, at least for some of the time.

[upsideup]

Thankyou, we definately realise a 5th will have a huge impact and know we have a lot to think about and work out. Ours are 3,4,8,10 so no teenagers yet but we are in a good routine, september we will have all 4 in different schools and weve managed to work that out. I also have DSD(22) from a previous relationship who lived with us from 16-19 and still stays now regularly so we do have some experiance with 5 but I guess she gives me false hope of what it can be like having teenagers as we have never had any problems, in reality mine may be a lot more hard work.

[TabbyTigger]

I have 6 and found the transition from 4 to 5 and 5 to 6 easiest! Obviously it still impacts but for me, because we were ready (and already used to the chaos!) it wasn’t as big of a shock as 1-2, 2-3 and 3-4. Also once the oldest are older they are far more interested in the baby (or so was the case in my family) and my DC2 and DC3 really fought (still fight!) over looking after DC4-6 as babies.

I think it depends largely how your other children will react.

[Needmorehands]

Reading and watching with interest!
DC5 due in May - after a 6yr break, so hoping not having 100s of toddlers has to be easier :D

[Louw12345]

I have five girls. 15, 13, twins that are 8 and a 6 year old. It's wasn't hard when I was with their dad. However, alone was plus I went back to college. Now in uni and juggling time is hard from housework to homework etc

[bellsbuss]

I sometimes think about having a 5th but I feel worn out with 4 sometimes as had my youngest at 41 and he's nearly 2 and full of life 🙄 I would have to hurry up due to age but just not sure. One day I wake up and think no not done yet then others I wake up and think I must be mad to even entertain it. OH has said he wouldn't choose to have a 5th but if it happened we would just have to get on with it. Maybe if I was younger I would just do it

[NextIndia]

Like a pp, 4-5 tipped us over the edge. Our DC now range from 4-16. I feel like I've lost control since having DC5 and like every day since she arrived, I've just been flying by the seat of my pants. I guess that tipping point will be different for everyone though?

[LeonoraFlorence]

We have 5 DDs (expecting surprise DC6-definitely our last!) and I honestly found the transition from 1 to 2 hardest out of them all. Ours are all close in age though so that may have something to do with it! My older 2 do help with pre schooler/toddler/baby but only of their own accord.

[Totsntantrums]

I also agree with PP. 4-5 tipped me over the edge. I thought I would be a forever broody mum but number 5 turned that around.

Firstly he is an extremely spirited child, as we have older children now too, he is well and truly spoilt by everyone which does not help. He has learned to play us all of against each other and it always works as there is always someone else to run to.

Also having teenagers and a toddler is way harder than I ever imagined. I have two really well behaved teen girls but even so, the switch between the two and trying to please everyone is hard work.

I would never say don’t do it as I love big family but got no 4-5 has definitely for me been the hardest.

[mathanxiety]

I have five.

There are so many excellent considerations outlined by others here if you're making a decision.

My age gap is 11 years with an average of almost 3 years between each child.

TBH it was like having two separate families once the oldest became teens. There is a huge difference between an 11 yo and a 13 yo.

For me, the thing that stood out the most for the two youngest children's experience of family life was all the losses they went through. One after another the older siblings left for university.

The two youngest were 7 and 10 when DD1 headed off, 10 and 13 when DS went, and at 13 and 16 they waved off DD2. Their memories of family life are different from the older DCs'. Even though we ate dinner together and tried to fit in a holiday together every year, they really only knew the older ones as teens who came and went. They were busy with school, jobs, sports, friends.

And now the youngest, DD4, is home with me all by herself, with another full school year before she heads off. The older ones come home for Christmas and DC4 may be home for the summer from university but not necessarily. Before long, I anticipate the oldest may get married and possibly decide to strike out on their own for Christmas. The youngest will not experience even that family event with all present and correct, when that happens.

I feel the youngest two were cheated out of much of family Ife just by don't if the fact that time marches on for the oldest.

[mathanxiety]

By dint of the fact...

[Mum2fourrugrats]

Anything past 3 and it stays the same. I didn't notice having 4 harder than 3.