Coping with 4 kids!(7 Posts)
Not sure what I want to hear really, just tips on how to cope and empathy from anyone who's been in the same boat!
I have an 8, 3 and 2 year old and a 10 week old baby.
The baby just wants to feed constantly and is very colicky, sickly - currently exploring possible dairy allergy so I'm going dairy free! He will only sleep/settle in car seat or in a sling so extremely difficult to get things done.
I try to get out with the toddlers but it's like a military operation! Cleaning is a nightmare as back nearly in two from having the baby in the sling constantly.
I feel guilty that the older ones don't get the same attention as the baby requires so much of my time.
My husband only has one day a week off but does his share (and more with the cleaning) of childcare and cleaning when he is home and I basically can't wait for him to come home each night!
The baby sleeps with us (which they all have) which isn't a problem but I'm now worrying and can't remember how I got the others into their beds.
I seem to be counting down the months until it gets easier but don't know if it ever will! Every day is just physically and mentally hard work!
Thanks if you read that. I think I just needed a good moan!!!
I really feel for you. Was in a similar ish position a few years ago with a 3yr,1yr,newborn. But no 8 year old, pros and cons of that I guess. Was thankful for no school run but having a baby now with a 7yr old has been a lot better as she can be quite helpful feeding baby etc.
Not sure I have much advice, TBH I don’t think i coped very well at all. Cried a lot. So just wanted to say I found really hard as well and it’s definately got easier (although not easy).
I know I’m not supposed to say this but first big improvement from us was when’s i stopped breastfeeding at 12wk. Not advocating you do the same but breastfeeding literally kills me so that was a large part of the struggle at your current point. I have no regrets switching as I did as much as was possible for me.
Do you have one of those swings? I got mine second hand for £15 and that helped with the colicky bit a little. And if the baby will settle in it for a bit will give your back a break.
The colicky thing is a killer, once that subsides it will definately get better.
Am ashamed to say we used the car seat for more naps than we should probably. I’m sure that is not advised at all now but it was the only place besides upright on me the baby would ever sleep.
Getting out took forever! TBH life is still a military operation, but feeling like I achieved that part of things definately motivated me to keep going. Would always be massively relieved when we were all back inside and would have to leave again until the next day though...
Please don’t feel bad about how much attention the others are getting right now. They’ll get more attention again and our three who are only three years apart get so much out of having each other to play with now they can all walk, talk & play make up stuff together. They have something amazing that kids with wider age gaps don’t have who may have got more in other ways.
Sending hugs xx
I remember the blur of those days, similar ages I think (oldest turned 7 when DC was born)...it does get easier, a while off for your just yet but I've just sold the pushchair and the last potty has gone, it feels odd.
I would say, don't aim for perfection, some days survival is as good as it gets and actually getting the oldest to school (on time or not) is an achievement.
I always used to have an emergency meal in the freezer (chips, frozen veg and chicken dinosaurs/ fish fingers), baths were reduced to twice a week if we could get away with it. I bought enough uniform for the ones at school to last a week so if I couldn't get to the washing machine it didn't matter.
My other life savers were Ocado and accepting every offer of help, all my freinds and family know thier way around my kitchen enough to be able to make a hot drink and even a lunch. They don't do it so much now, but in the baby days it was great (they didn't mind).
The slings were great, I got DC4 up on my back as soon as I could (get advice on technique from a sling library on this) so I could get jobs done with him up there.
This too shall pass as they on mumsnet (or they used to anyway), this goes for the good bits too, so sometimes you have to remember to stop amid the mess and enjoy the cuddles when they are so small.
You are in the very early days op things will settle down
You will find routine and things you find stressful now because they are new will be old news
I have four but more spread out than yours (10, 8, 4 and 1)
Aside from the fact the small one loves 4am we are doing good!
Thanks everyone! I've taken your tips and advice on board!
Feeling more positive today!
I've introduced a bottle which will hopefully take the pressure off (and give my poor nipples a break!)
How's it going, Lumpy? Hope things are settling a bit?
I'm experiencing the same thing. It's really hassle but that's just how parenting's supposed to be.
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