Trying to decide whether to have a third. OH is very keen and I'm sure I would adore he/she, never regret it and we would make things work despite being penniless and living on top of each other etc . My main concern is that the children would be unhappy and not get enough attention. Everything I have come across on searching for the children's point of view seems negative- being left out and not receiving enough attention from parents being the main complaints. However most people I know who are one of three have gone on to have three themselves so it can't be all that bad...
There would be two years between each child. I've read a larger gap seems the better option for the parents but would be interested to know what it's like from the kids' perspective.
Anyone have a good or bad experience of being one of three? What can you do as a parent/part time working mum to make sure they get enough attention and don't feel left out? (without being mega wealthy/winning the lottery!)
I’m the middle girl in a boy-girl-girl set up. I loved it and never felt left out. I think that was because I always had someone to play with. I’ve gone on to have 3 children myself. So has my sister. My brother doesn’t want children, so maybe he feels that he missed out?!
I'm the middle off boy, girl, girl with 3.5 years from oldest to youngest. I hated being the middle. I was too close in age to each of my siblings. They got on well with each other. I felt that there was golden boy above me and a needy "baby" below me in age.
I have girl, girl, boy. There's just under 2 years with 1&2 and just over with 2&3. I'd love another but for quite a few reasons we aren't having more. I absolutely love how it is. Youngest is almost one and him and dd2 are starting to interact and play a little now. Dd1 adores ds and plays with dd2 lots. Dd1&dd2 fight as siblings do but for the most part its really nice and I wouldn't change things
I’m the eldest of 3 - g,b,g. Small gap between first two and then a bigger gap to youngets due to MC. I love it and want as many or more myself. We’re all close and I still love having a Bush house full of people, even though we had 7 people in a tiny 3 bed for my whole childhood. Two just doesn’t seem like enough people to me.
I was the middle child of GGG. A year between my eldest and 3yrs from youngest. I loved having two sisters, we always ended up in pairs ganging up on the other. As the middle I always got blamed for bloody everything! Anyway i have gone on to have 4 but with very large age gaps, apart from middle two where there is a 3 1/2 yr gap. Love having a noisy house
I'm eldest of three - girl, girl, boy with 2 years between us. We all got on well as young kids, but my brother went off the rails when he hit teenage years and has never really got back on track (mainly due to cannabis induced mental health issues) and we have little contact nowadays, though I'm very close to my sister.
To be honest I think 3 was too much for my parents. But some parents obviously cope fine with it. You're best placed to know if it's right for you.
Mine are b,g,g with 5yrs 3m between eldest and youngest. It's great. Never come across the whole 'middle child syndrome' that gets talked about on here. dh is one of 3 too, and SiL (the middle one) doesn't recognise it either.... nor my neices and nephews on both sides of family. All dc have their own personalities. All parents have to carve out 'special time' with each of their dc - but 3 is hardly 'larger family' territory IMO. Being 3, there is always someone left to bicker play with when one goes out or away somewhere. I highly recommend 3, myself.
I have BGG with about 2 years between each. I love having three and wouldn't change it for anything BUT it is difficult to find enough time for each of them sometimes. They rarely play or spend time together in the way that 2 do (it's usually BG-G or more usually B-GG). It can be rather noisy compared to 2. Also, my 3rd is a bit of a handful compared with the other two!
I'm the middle of three girls - enjoyed it and my younger sister and I have both gone on to have 3. Our big sister stuck to one though, and it seems like that's a common pattern I see on here, the eldest child enjoys being one of three less, perhaps because they have felt the lessening of attention each time, or perhaps because they often have to take on more responsibility (while we never knew what it was like to be the centre of attention, and loved getting to do everything early by complaining until we got the same as the eldest!)
I'm the middle one of three, bgb, and I never felt left out or in need of more attention. My brothers are two years older and one year (!) younger than me, so small age gaps. I now have three kids myself and quite want a fourth so it's all good news from here!