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Tell me about having four children

(150 Posts)
BrutusMcDogface Wed 03-Jan-18 16:37:49

Hi all! I'm currently pregnant with our surprise number four, and have been through all the emotions!

Today I am mainly terrified. Had a day out at soft play and just kept thinking how much harder it will be in times to come when there are four of them.

Please help! Tell me it'll all be ok and rub my back sympathetically! Or, tell me it's bloody hard work and give me some tips to help us all cope! grin

Thank you!

BrutusMcDogface Wed 03-Jan-18 16:38:26

School runs!! How do you get them out of the door?! 😱

Tsotofamily Wed 03-Jan-18 19:31:18

I have 4 - almost 11, 9, almost 6 and 17months. I love having 4, organisation is the key, get all school stuff ready the night before. As for school run just worry about getting the dcs that have school ready if baby is still in pjs dont stress about it.
Your be fine once you get into your new routine. It's cant be that bad as i would have another

BrutusMcDogface Wed 03-Jan-18 19:38:11

Thank you, Tsoto! I've spoken to you before on here smile lovely to hear it's all working out for you! My older three are younger than yours but from September, the youngest will be st school smile

BrutusMcDogface Wed 03-Jan-18 19:38:35

Are you planning another? Also- what car do you have?!

Thetruthfairy Wed 03-Jan-18 19:42:50

I have three and would love four. My friend who has four says that she finds it easier - she says has just accepted that she is now completely outnumbered :-) and is more chilled as a result.
I was terrified of having 3 under 5yrs but it has been great.
Sending virtual back rubs xx

Tsotofamily Wed 03-Jan-18 20:23:55

Not planning another but I'd never say never.
I have a zafira

Afreshnewyearplease Thu 04-Jan-18 07:21:35

We have 4. Ages 9, 8, 4 and 14months.

Re school run i get up at 6 with the little one, others all have to be up by 730. We leave at 840. Im a sahm. I was struggling ALOT working and juggling four.

UnitedKungdom Thu 04-Jan-18 07:24:50

I'll have 4 in the next few weeks. Mine are 4, 3 and 2. Our house is mental. 😳

Afreshnewyearplease Thu 04-Jan-18 07:25:29

united that sounds erm, noisy?

BrutusMcDogface Thu 04-Jan-18 09:06:43

Thank you for the replies!!

I've been looking up the zafira and it looks good. Has anyone got a ford s-max or galaxy?

Thetruth- thanks for the back rubs! Much needed 😁

Afresh- I work part time at the mo and I love my job but will have to at least take the whole year off...goodness knows how I'll cope as work and kids is hard enough with three!

BrutusMcDogface Thu 04-Jan-18 09:07:24

United- wow! Do you have much help/support? That sounds tough! 💐

UnitedKungdom Thu 04-Jan-18 09:27:59

Brutus, yeah, I luckily have a nice set up as I work from home with a fantastic nanny Mon-Fri. My DH works 7 days a week though and till late every night so that really sucks. It is noisy and stressful, it's been hard being pregnant and coping with them and sickness etc so I'm looking forward to baby arriving so I can get a little strength and energy back into my body. I think though it's hard now, it will be fantastic in about 3 yrs. maybe even two! My 2 yr old now is an absolute legend (but the toughest baby so far and strongest character) and plays properly with the others so once new baby can do that I think we're on the up.

Notso Thu 04-Jan-18 09:29:11

I've got four but with big gap between the first two and the second two mine are 17,13,7 and 5 although only 16 months apart.
It's busy, and hard at times. The hardest time for me was when the younger ones were between 1 and 3, and my oldest was becoming a hormonal teenager. It felt like there was tears and tantrumming from all sides.
School runs were awful then I was up at 5:30/6 but now they all get themselves ready, the younger two get up at 7, wash, dress, brush teeth and come in to me at 7:30.

WRT a car we've had a zafira for 3 years (DH gets a company car so it changes every 3 years) and are going back to a 7 seat Peugeot. DH really dislikes the zafira, I can't drive so not sure about that aspect but the zafira certainly isn't as nice as the Peugeot.

oldbirdy Thu 04-Jan-18 09:37:11

I have 4, older now but they were 8,5 and 3 when youngest was born.
I dropped a day at work (3.5 to 2.5 per week) as was struggling with that with 4 little ones. We have an s max btw, prefer it to a zafira any day, but when they were smaller we had a Honda frv which was fabulous (3 plus 3 seating) but I don't think they make them anymore.

4 is fine. I am poorly organised but my key in the early days was to not try to do much with the baby in the mornings: a 7am feed, then back to bed with her while I ran around with the older kids and she used to come on the school run with us in her sleep suit. A sling is also your friend, DD was in it a lot that first 6 months!

girlsyearapart Thu 04-Jan-18 09:38:24

I have four they are 10,9,7 & 6
I love it and it's a billion times easier now they are bigger though they are awake a lot later!
Organisation is definitely the key as a pp said. Uniform out the night before etc
Get them to be as independent as possible.

We have a Chrysler voyager which is good with the sliding doors and lots of room inside to stand and fix the car seats in. It is very hard to park in busy roads though!
Now that none of them have fixed car seats we are going to change to a vw touran when the tax is next up to renew.

Good luck you will be fine smile

BrutusMcDogface Thu 04-Jan-18 15:27:12

Ah, some lovely responses! Thank you all! flowers

L257 Sun 07-Jan-18 04:48:26

Truthfully, I think it comes down to being a worrywart parent is hard and being a 'roll with the punches' parent is easy, no matter how many kids you have, a larger number of kids just compounds it.

If no-one is bleeding and nothing is on fire then everything is okay ;)

Getting out the door can be a challenge so I like to make sure my nappy bag is always basically ready to go (except bottles) and I also keep nappies/wipes/rubbish bags/hand sanitiser/bunnyrug in the back of the car so if need be, we can just leave 'unprepared' and if something happens, we can deal with it

And with laundry, I've just recently switched to washing by room and it's so much easier, no sorting!!

MinorRSole Sun 07-Jan-18 05:10:21

I have 4, last 2 are twins so went from 2 to 4. I find it easier in an odd way and think I'm a better parent than I was to 2. I don't pander the way I did but I don't fret either. The twins have benefited from more freedom but when I say something I mean it. I don't have time to ask them 5 tines to put their shoes on so I don't!

It's hard to gauge as my older 2 have autism and the twins are NT which could go a long way to explaining why I find them easier too

I have a zafira it's not the roomiest but was more affordable new than some of the others and was a good all round compromise. We had a galaxy before but it was an older one - don't particularly miss it and prefer the drive of the zafira

Needless to say I think 4 is a great number, in fact I would have more if I didn't mind not ever having money! And it is so expensive, but it's worth it

Raver84 Sun 07-Jan-18 21:45:37

I've 4 under 7. It's really hard work, like 3 is . Thing I find hard is the sheer time it takes to get out the house. The amount of washing is huge. I don't get out with baby much as he likes to sleep when they are at school and pre school! He's prob tired from all the noise. I also don't meet up with friends much as I'm so busy concentrating on my 4 in a park or soft play the last thing I need is watching someone else's and having a gossip. So in that way it can be lonley. But I wouldn't change it they are great and I love them all to bits. Would def not have another now though. Buy a big car and a large capacity washing machine and dryer and you will be fine.

BrutusMcDogface Mon 08-Jan-18 14:29:25

Eek, Raver! That's what I'm worried about (taking them all out!!)

Thanks again for responses! ❤️

SprogletsMum Mon 08-Jan-18 14:49:23

I've got 4, mine are 9,6, 3 and 8 months. I did type a bigger post but it got lost.
I also find that 4 is lonlier, don't feel comfortable taking them to other people's houses and my house is full enough without other people's dc in it. I can manage soft play and smaller parks perfectly well by myself though. We even did a fireworks night event just me and the dc and it was fine.
I don't really struggle to get us all out either but my standards for what I look like are pretty low. It's literally get everyone dressed and fed and out. The washing is phenomenal, I cleared all mine yesterday there was 6 big loads. My washing basket is full again there's probably another 2 loads in there.

SprogletsMum Mon 08-Jan-18 14:50:46

Oh I meant to say as well that as strange as it sounds I find 4 easier than 3. I found 3 really, really hard but 4 is pretty good most of the time.

wantmorenow Mon 08-Jan-18 15:12:44

Mine are now 23, 22, 15 and 14, the eldest one no longer lives at home. Was hard and I worked full time and was single mum too for the last 8 years. They used to squabble a bit but now they are like a team, they pull together and cooperate superbly well together. I've had flu for weeks and the youngest two pottered around the kitchen yesterday to cook a chicken, roasties and veg. Lovely hearing them bumble along together and sort themselves out and look after me too.

Was hard when they were younger but they are so independent, thoughtful and know how to respect and enjoy their individual personalities and strengths. They're not perfect the 15 year old boy's room is a pigsty but I learned to choose priorities and my battles and not sweat the small stuff.

You will find it rewarding and gets easier over time .

wantmorenow Mon 08-Jan-18 15:14:35

Just realised i was a single Mum for last 12 years! Where did the time go? Only FT for last 8 years though.

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