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Things are about to change

(11 Posts)
Needmorehands Wed 13-Sep-17 20:52:43

Hello MN,
I used to be a regular but haven't been active for ages as children have got older - youngest is now 5 and just started 2nd year of full time school.
DH has been intending to get the snip for years, he has been donating sperm so delayed for a while, and has been genuinely very busy working very hard and supporting us all. He is a great dad. I have also recently started a business in a completely different field to his work, and been reasonably successful, while navigating a very steep learning curve and encountering staffing issues etc.
You have probably guessed where the preamble is leading. Despite us both being tired from working hard and having 4 active children, so only DTT occasionally, it now appears that we did it at the wrong time!
Is there anyone out there who can reassure me that a 6yr age gap between child 4 and 5 is not a disaster?
If it has happened, and the line seems to suggest it... not continuing the pg is not an option for me.
DH doesn't yet know as he is away with work currently, and he will be scared.... but supportive
Thank you for not telling me we should have been more grown up

EverythingNow Thu 14-Sep-17 10:38:08

I have a 9yr gap between 1&2 and there will be at least (if I'm lucky!) a 7year gap between 3&4 as number 3 is 6 and we are ttc #4.

I think 6 years is fine, I found that at least I could reason with my eldest why I needed to give the younger ones my attention.

All the best to you

Needmorehands Thu 14-Sep-17 13:04:16

Thank you for the positive reply, I was thinking too much about the restraints having a tiny again would pose - not going on rides all together as someone will have to stay with the baby (not that we go on rides very often anyway!)
Like the being able to reason with them logic smile
And I've been moaning that I miss having a buggy to put everything under!

hungoverhippo Thu 14-Sep-17 13:13:22

I don't have any advice. But wanted to say congratulations!
At least your other DC can look after themselves a bit more and I'd imagine them to be very excited and help out with the baby.
There's 7 years between me and my DB and I loved it! And now we're grown up we're very close despite the gap.

EverythingNow Thu 14-Sep-17 16:56:49

Yes I miss a buggy to hold my stuff! grin

Buttonswiththread Thu 14-Sep-17 22:54:35

Congratulations ! I think a 6 year gap is lovely ten years between my eldest and youngest and youngest gets Sooo much love xxx

Needmorehands Fri 15-Sep-17 17:00:19

Thanks buttons smile lovely way of looking at it - can't decide if youngest will be delighted not to be the baby anymore, or be a complete madam over it!
Desperately resisting buggy porn for a few more weeks!

DeadDoorpost Tue 26-Sep-17 19:07:03

There's a 6 year gap between two of my siblings and the next one and I think the age difference helped when she was growing up as she learned to talk and do things fairly quickly from watching us older children. (Obviously babies develop at their own pace but her vocabulary was pretty big by age 3 and knew the meanings of the words she was using). It's also helped as we've got older as she's got other people to go to for advice (I'm 10 years older than her) so she looks up to me and the others as an example of what to do/not to do. And for us it brings a bit more youthfulness to us which is nice!
Congratulations btw!

daisydalrymple Tue 26-Sep-17 22:54:57

Ds1 was 7 and dd was 5 when ds2 was born. They absolutely love him and have been fascinated by each stage of his development. (He's 3 next month). They laugh at his logic (or lack of grin ) when he's having a tantrum, and see the way we work it out (and indeed help!) rather than getting cross themselves.

He too adores them, and some days will ask around 230 if it's time to go pick them up yet.


Ts27 Tue 26-Sep-17 22:58:35

There's an 8 year gap between my sister and I but we talk everyday- we're very close. I wouldn't worry if I were you.

Needmorehands Thu 28-Sep-17 19:19:24

Thank you ladies for your lovely positive and reassuring responses. I'm mostly leaning more towards excitement than 'what have we done-ness' now, booking in appt next week, then just waiting for a scan and hopefully after that I can be a bit less paranoid about it

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