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I don't feel my family is complete, help!

(23 Posts)
EmmyOlly Thu 20-Jul-17 17:54:35

Hi, so background I have a 3yo DD and a 6mo DS, I just can't shake the feeling that my family isn't complete and I'd love a third child, am I being crazy? Why do I not feel that two is enough? Sometimes I feel guilty that I feel like this then other days I feel that a third would absolutely complete us. Please help, I've weighed up finances and practicality and a third is do able, I just always thought I'd feel complete with two
Thanks for listening!

Justhadmyhaircut Thu 20-Jul-17 17:58:27

Probably not the one to ask.
I have 11.......

Blossoming77 Thu 20-Jul-17 18:01:01

I empathise. I have 2 aged 7 and 5, and I'd love another one. Probably well past it now at 46 sad

YerTiz Thu 20-Jul-17 18:03:35

I was ridiculously broody while my second DC was a baby. Now he's three, not so much. Give it time and see how you feel smile but if it's doable and your partner's on board, why not?

Raver84 Mon 24-Jul-17 22:25:28

I found three easier than two. After the newborn stage anyway . I now have four all under 7, busy but i enjoy it. Always knew I wanted more than two. Go for it if you want and you husband this so too.

BlazeofLight Tue 25-Jul-17 07:34:46

I have two DSs - my youngest just turned 2.

I don't feel like my family is complete but I really unenthusiastic about going back to the beginning again. Life is just starting to get easier: finally they both sleep and DS2 is fairly portable so we can do fun things as a family. And DS1 is quite high maintenance so I am worried about coping with a third.

But on the other hand I always imagined having a big family. Looking ahead ten years I think I will be sad about only having two. But I am very scared about taking the plunge!

Mothervulva Tue 25-Jul-17 07:38:58

Is there a reason you can't have three? I have two and am gearing up to try for number three.

RealGoth Wed 26-Jul-17 00:50:40

I felt the same way as you after I had my first 2 children. They were both boys and I felt like my family would be complete if I had a girl My 3rd child was a girl but I still didn't feel complete. I now have 9 children and am pregnant with number 10! It's a slippery slope grin

D886 Wed 16-Aug-17 15:37:38

I do not feel broody since having ds (3rd child) last year. I agonised whether to have a 3rd dc for about 2y ... and now he's here, aside from still getting caught by how adorable newborns are, I don't feel broody. I think 'Aaw, how sweeeet!' But then I remember that I also love sleeping all night and getting to sit down and have a cup of tea in the day 😝

So, maybe listen to your instincts 🙂

MrsStinkey Wed 16-Aug-17 15:57:29

I've been thinking about this all day and just came on here to see this thread. Love mumsnet! I'm in a different situation to you though OP. I have DD1 who is 6 and DD2 will be 2 soon. Recently I've been so broody! We could afford another but would have to do without certain treats. We also live in a 2 bed house ATM and are currently saving to buy a bigger house. I know practically it's not a good idea at all and if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be saying to me don't be silly you're fine as you are! But, the hormones won't stop me from wanting to hold another baby in my arms and watch them grow into an amazing tiny little person like my other 2. DH is happy with 2 though so I don't think it'll ever happen.

GotToGetMyFingerOut Wed 16-Aug-17 16:00:19

Felt the same with two and once I had my third I felt completely satisfied and don't want anymore, however my friend feels like this with every child and is on to her seventh pregnancy.

Lovelongweekends Wed 16-Aug-17 16:07:26

I felt the same after two, like something was missing and our family wasn't complete. Number 3 is 10months old now and the family feels complete!!

whyareusernamessodifficult Wed 16-Aug-17 16:10:16

I would if you really want it and you can afford it then go for it.

That being said we've just had our fifth and decided we're definitely having a sixth now I've found a car that I like that we can fit six car seats in grin

ragged Wed 16-Aug-17 16:11:21

You are outnumbered if you go for 3+.

BrutusMcDogface Thu 07-Sep-17 09:55:21

Having three changes the family dynamic a lot. Some days it was so hard I looked at people with two and thought "why did we do it to ourselves?!" Wouldn't swap her for anything though and she's been wonderful for my older two.

Now that she's 3 and life is so much easier, we are thinking about a fourth!!

Day3Blues Thu 07-Sep-17 10:08:36

I spent a long time obsessing about a third when dc2 was a baby and couldn't shake the feeling that I may want another one but was torn wondering if we'd cope, would it change things, could we afford it etc etc but I'm now cuddling our newborn dc3 and I feel so complete and happy and will be forever grateful that we decided to go for it! Couldn't imagine life without him now he's here!

euanthesheepiloveyou Thu 07-Sep-17 16:39:33

I don't think that feeling will ever leave me, until my body makes it an impossibility! I have 6 & am seriously considering 'just one more'!! So I sympathise. Go for it!! The jump from 1 to 2 is the biggest shock. I found 2 to 3 a breeze in comparison wonders if this is just due to slipping standards??! 😉

Redpramlady Sun 08-Oct-17 20:46:23

Following
Feeling in the same situation here!
And been thinking about t so came on here and bang here's a thread about it ha!
Ds 4 dd 2 and pining over whether to have another.
Everything is against it other than feeling incomplete. And then I feel bad feeling incomplete as so lucky to have mine
What a whirlwind!!

MomToWedThorFriday Sun 08-Oct-17 21:05:39

Could be worse, I have 4 and feel like this frequently!

Woolymummy Mon 18-Dec-17 21:45:18

I have 5 children, we are expecting no 6.
I didn't feel complete after 2 either 😊!!
It's kind of easier the more you have because there's always someone for them to play with. (The washing, not so much!)
Go with your feelings...

Somersetter Mon 18-Dec-17 21:47:14

Three isn't even a big family - go for it!

genever Mon 18-Dec-17 21:48:46

Mine are 7 and 4 and I feel the same. Reluctant to give up the gym and alcohol for a year or more, scared of pregnancy and birth again, enjoy our freedom, peaceful nights, holidays without cots and buggies, kids are quite independent and will both be at school next year... Also feel that I may well regret not going for a third while I still have the option. Really torn so can't help you, sorry, but reading with interest!

Runningoutofusernames Mon 18-Dec-17 21:50:44

Like Yertiz I was crazy broody when DS2 was little, then got a sudden final spurt when he was 3, but now he's older am very happy with 2. DS1 also has ASD, which wasn't clear when they were little but is increasingly clear now, so we're happy we are a smaller family. If I didn't have a higher risk of ending up with multiple DCs with additional needs (and frankly, the relationship strain that has come with just one) would definitely have gone for more though!

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