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DC3 is twins....anyone else?

(12 Posts)
gruffalocake2 Sun 23-Apr-17 17:53:05

We just found out that DC3 is actually DC3 and DC4. We didn't really plan on a 4th so it's a bit of a shock.
Has this happened to anyone else and how did it all work out? DC 1 and 2 are young school age at least so that should help a bit although getting homework done, school drop offs and clubs etc is another challenge I guess.... Any advice on how to manage?!

Surf25 Tue 25-Apr-17 18:36:24

Congratulations!!! Similar situation here, dc 4 turned out to be dc 4 and 5! They are 4 months now. It is busy, but routine is a helpful thing in our house so it actually works out well having the day bookended by school drop off and collect and the wee ones do quite well at having a wee nap on the walk there and or back. Accept help that will genuinely help you! A friend of ours has offered to take our two eldest to one of their clubs which is a great help, normally I am not good at saying yes to such offers but this time round I am just going with it! I figure they are offering because they genuinely are happy to help! Is there a neighbour or someone who could help with the school run occasionally or could you lift share for after school activities? A family member or friend who could bring a meal that you could ear or freeze when they visit? Friends in pur church bring meals to families with new babies, which is amazing! DH or family/friends could take the older two out occasionally to do something together that it is not so easy to take babies too? My dh can often pick the kids up from clubs and take them home but he is never home in time to take them, so sometimes we can work out something with other parents, then it benefits everyone and I don't feel so guilty!! We have had a cleaner while I have worked, and I would have stopped her during this mat leave if we had only been having one baby but we have had help to keep her on from both of our sets of parents. I realise that may not be possible for many people.

It is exhausting at times, but that's parenting generally isn't it?! There are unique challenges to having two babies at the same time and same stage but it honestly is amazing too!

Sorry just realised this is very long. Feel free to ask away anything, no doubt more experienced twin mummies will offer their wisdom!!!

Surf25 Tue 25-Apr-17 18:41:57

Me again...sorry...there is a multiple births group on here and also, if you were thinking about breastfeeding there is a breastfeeding twins and triplets page on Facebook which is quite a supportive community. You can look up and join if you want to, a charity called TAMBA and they have lots of information, host webinars and so on, worth having a look on there. I have gone along to my local (very small) twins group and joined a local group on Facebook and that has been good too. It is lovely to meet other mums going through similar experiences and meeting some with older twins who have blazed the trail before me! :-)

gruffalocake2 Tue 25-Apr-17 18:43:26

Thanks that's so helpful!
We also might have church help at leat with some meals and things.
I was wondering about cleaner I just worry I'd be in such a pickle she wouldn't be able find space to work! I'll see how it goes.
Unfortunately we need to drive to school so that will be a palaver but I guess we'll find some routine.
Good to hear it's exhausting and rewarding. I'm trrrible with little sleep but think the specialness of two together will hopefully be worth it!

Darlingdahlia Tue 25-Apr-17 18:51:42

Not quite but an unplanned 4th very close to number 3, so we ended up with 4 with the last two VERY close together. First year was pretty hard work (well, awful?!) but also wonderful at the same time. I love having them, I feel so lucky to have 4 children, but it has been so very full on and at times more than I have felt able to cope with. Advice would be to just get through the first year in whatever way you can- as much help as possible if you have anyone who can help, ready meals when necessary, cereal for tea if you need to sometimes and generally accepting that you can only do your best and it doesn't have to be good all the time, it can just be surviving. In some ways I have found 4 much easier than I thought because you really have to let things go that you cared about before and you don't really mind, but it can be chaos at times. Congratulations and you will be fine. It's a wonderful thing, just lots of work at the start.

Surf25 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:45:51

If you are driving to school I would definitely recommend giving careful thought to what double buggy you buy and I would get one that can take care seats so that you can just pop them in and out. What ages are your older children? We had a 15 month gap between dc1 and 2 and actually therefore already had a double buggy, a side by side. I love it and use it loads again now for walks etc but I actually got a second hand icandy apple to pear on Gumtree specifically so that I could put car seats in, and it has been very useful when popping to the shops or on the odd day that I do have the car to pick up the eldest two from school.
Basically you just do what you need to do to get through the hard times and the special times are very special! I try to have low expectations about how much else I can get done beyond what needs to be done! And we manage fine with that. The kids love a night of beans on toast or mcds or a picnic tea (finger food!)!!
I think if you know what you have found hard about the late pregnancy/ newborn stage before then maybe you can think ahead and predict those are the things that could be tough again and how can you build in some extra help for that - could a friend or relative come to take them for a walk now and then if managing on little sleep is the most difficult bit etc? :-) How many weeks are you? :-)

Surf25 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:46:32

Argh...car seats not care seats!!!

Mu123 Tue 25-Apr-17 21:18:36

Dd's were 3 and 5 when we decided just one more! Hah!

Two months in scbu an hour away was a bloody nightmare with the older girls but once home, a fairly good routine has been my saving grace and knowing that there's nothing else for it but to crack on and it would get better with time.

The girls already had established clubs and nursery/school to go to so the twins had to just go with that i.e. morning nap time was always 9am, the minute we were in the door from school run, and again at 2-3 before we had to collect the girls.

I must say, it HAS been brilliant, even where they are wee shits the way they laugh and egg each other on does make me laugh.

Try see if theres a local twin club/group in your area. They are always brilliant(ly mental) grin

Jumpolining Tue 25-Apr-17 21:20:58

Yep! My first 2 were 1.5 & 3.5 when I found out it was twins. The elder 2 entertained each other and the twins were a comfort to each other. It was easier than I could have ever imagined. Congrats and welcome to this wonderful world wink

gruffalocake2 Tue 25-Apr-17 23:48:20

This is such great advice. I'll check out the twins breastfeeding on Facebook.
Only 9weeks in but I find researching and finding out how I can make it work makes is helpful in getting my head round it!
I'm already thinking how I can go back to work when the time comes. I think a nanny will be the answer with so many kids!
The older ones are 7 and 4 so much easier than Some of your small gaps, although I guess I've also got used to things being easier and so it might be hard going back to the beginning.
Good idea on the car seats re school drop offs, I'll see what I can do.
I'm pretty sure there's a twins club where I live so I'll have to check that out as we get further along.

Jumpolining Wed 26-Apr-17 21:36:36

TBH I found it easier to walk to school/preschool drop offs once my eldest started school, even though they were in opposite directions. Such a faff getting twins in car seats/car/buggy/car/car park/buggy/car/home and when it was raining, it was even worse. Least walking they'd be covered door-door (and I was getting in 4 miles before brekkie!!!)

Jasharps Wed 26-Apr-17 23:08:54

My just one more #3 also turned out to be 3 and 4! My elder 2 were 15 months and 4 my DTs were born. It's hard work but nowhere near as bad as you imagine or what others might think. Going woth the flow while trying to maintain a loose routine helps here. Mine are almost 2 and it's still tough but mostly wonderful. Twins are a real joy and a very unique bond. Listening to their laughs and mischief is wonderful.

Definitely take help where you can. We moved closer to family which helped enormously. We also have a nanny which much easier and cheaper

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