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Completed family when did you know?

(3 Posts)
iecgi Sun 16-Apr-17 13:17:35

Sooo my littlest of 5 kids is 2. She was always going to be our last something I did struggle with even when I still felt I didn't want any more children I still felt a bit of a grieving process I guess that part of my life was done onwards and upwards though I was ready for new adventures with my not so little family.... then in march on littlest ones 1st birthday I found out we where pregnant with our 6th... surprise well I wasn't happy but did get my head around it meant to be and all that... Unfortunately it wasn't I misscarried at 11 weeks we went in to try again and had a further miscarrage early on in Feb we had been trying for over 5 months something new to us as we've always conceived with first month of trying miscarriages unfortunately not new as we had a few before having our gorgeous tribe. The whole process has not been good for me my emotions have been everywhere I tried councelling and feel much better about things. and have decided I can't keep on trying and risking more miscarriages... something physically has clearly changed BUT Wow its like an ache.... I just want that one more I can't replace the babies I lost anymore than my 5 replace my earlier losses i know im not trying too...but I've had it in my head for a year now there was another one to join us and I'm finding it differcult to get my head round the new plan... We've booked a holiday ditched the family cot making new plans that we can get excited about but I'm still so bloody broody! Is this just how ill be now I wonder would I have felt this way without the miscarriages anyway?

SuperSix77 Sun 16-Apr-17 14:51:59

Oh I feel for you, iecgi, I really do. That must be so hard. I don't really have any advice...I also have 5 & am due my 6th in 3 weeks. I've been lucky though & haven't had any miscarriages. I do know with 100% certainty though, that this is my last baby and am (at the moment anyway!) completely happy with that. I had never felt like we were 'done' before & even before having numbers 4 & 5 I knew I would want another. I have friends (one very close friend in particular) who are in the same boat as you. She has struggled for over a couple of years now after a couple of miscarriages she desperately wants one more baby. It is her husband that has said no more though, which she is finding impossible to come to terms with... it's like it's not only her body that is standing in her way now, but her husband too. All I can say is that although it clearly still hurts her, she is starting to heal & come to terms with the fact that maybe their family unit is complete. And she has started talking about the positives of this - uninterrupted sleep, easier getting out & about, more 'me' time, more time to focus on the older kids, etc.
Hope you feel better soon. You never know though...maybe leave it to fate & see what happens? Good luck. Hope it all works out. X

Tsotofamily Sun 16-Apr-17 20:49:38

Iecgi - I completely relate to what your saying about grieving process. I have 4 dc and I know dd3 was my last but something inside of me would love more and realisitly know I should stop but there's that feeling inside that won't go away.
I'm really not much help just I can totally relate to how ur feeling right now as I would be exactly the same

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