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More kids? Advice from other Mums please

(17 Posts)
Pissedoffhousewife Sun 26-Mar-17 15:30:10

Hi DH and I have 2 DC - DD 2.1yrs & DS 5 months. I really want another baby - possibly 2 more. I would love to get pregnant again now but I am really unsure if I'd be making the right decision so just wondered if any other Mums with 3+ kids could give me your experiences please? I'm 34 now and also don't want to drag out the baby years but is it complete mayhem with 3 under 4? I'm a SAHM so childcare cost isn't an issue fortunately. We have a 3 bed house so if you have 3 or more close in age what is your set up with bedrooms? Can you get 3 car seats in the back of a standard car? Would DS miss out by not being the baby for long? Any other advice would be appreciated! All of my friends only have 1 child so I can't ask any of them for their experiences plus they already think I'm crazy because I had two under two!

jennie2001 Sun 26-Mar-17 21:09:56

I have 7 all together smile aged 17, 16, 13, 11, 9, 7 and 13 weeks . It can be complete mayhem at times but you'll quickly get into a routine that suits you.
My home set up currently as I live in a 3 bed is myself and hubby sleep downstairs with the baby as I have a large front room, my eldest has a room of her own, then the 16 and 7 year old share one room as they get on better and the other 3 share a room smile it took some swapping before we found what combination worked well.
With the car I tend to put one car seat in the front as its a squeeze in the back smile
I found as long as you involve the other kids there tends not to be too much clingyness even with things like nappy changes I get them to pass me wipes or set up the nappy ( I use reusable nappies)
Its lovely having them close together but be prepared for some hard work smile good luck with whatever you choose to do x

imip Sun 26-Mar-17 21:37:41

I had 4 in 5 years and yes, it was mayhem! Now that they are 10, 8, 7 and 5 it is organised mayhem grin

It turned a corner when dd4 turned 4, but now she is at school, we are at a new normal. the early years were really difficult, but I find it hard to be objective as it became clear one of my dcs had ASD and that was quite a challenge in terms of parenting as she can have quite challenging behaviour.

We have a 4br house. Eldest in big room with ensure that she must give up when visitors stay (we have lots of guests as we were not born in the UK and family visit). Our dd with ASD has the box room, and dd 3 and 4 share. Our family dynamics can be challenging, but we could redesign our top floor and change the layout from 3 to 4 bedrooms when the youngest are secondary aged.

We've had 3 seats across a car in a Passat. Many threads here to tell you what works with diff cars/combinations of seats.

Do they mid out as babies? I don't think so, but my youngest would love another baby now, so I think the experience of a younger sibling would be nice.

It's all swings and roundabouts though, and dependant on personalities.good luck!

Pissedoffhousewife Sun 26-Mar-17 21:45:25

Thank you for your posts. It sounds like you both have great families smile

isittheholidaysyet Sun 26-Mar-17 23:55:21

I have 4. DS's aged 12, 10, 7, and DD 6.

I think having them close together is chaotic, but it's only for few years. I feel we have just moved out of the baby years (in that baby toys are gone, no change bag, then can toilet and dress themselves, we no longer need complicated equipment) and it seems to have flown by. I'm so glad I had them close together rather that spread out.
You get into a pattern. If you change one nappy, you may as well do two at the same time. Snacks for 2 or 3 take very little longer than snacks for 1. When feeding the baby, the other two are close enough in age to enjoy the same story.

A 3rd child (and subsequent) just fit in with the household, Especially when school/nursery starts. You have all the clothes and equipment ready to go.

Cars, 3 car seats can be squeezed in, we did it. Depends on the car and the seats, but you can put one in the front and an adult in the back.

Rooms. In old house it was bunk beds and cot/toddler bed for the boys in the largest bedroom, the then baby was in with us.

New house is 4 bed. For ages we had big two in one room, little two in the other and a guest room.

Recently put 12 year old in his own room with a high sleeper with a double futon sofa underneath it, for guests. He gets kicked out when guests stay. Other two boys have the larger room. DD gets the smallest room (we have the master!)

Pissedoffhousewife Wed 29-Mar-17 22:53:51

Thanks for sharing your advice/experience 😊

Shamoffour Thu 30-Mar-17 14:16:38

I have 4 dc 11,6,3 And 2.
I would say only have four if you are absolutely sure and are very unselfish. I've found going from 3-4 incredibly difficult everyone said that a fourth would slot right in. He didn't! He's still not a great sleeper at 2.5 yrs. I di have a very small age gap so that will have made things harder.
We are fortunate to have 5 beds so everyone has a room but the sheer volume of stuff we have is un believable. Also the wear and tear on the house is bad. I patch up as I go along but I've got to the point where I'm not prepared to spend anymore money on redecorating until the two youngest are at school.

robinia Thu 30-Mar-17 14:22:23

I have 5 and totally recommend it. Yes the house gets messy but that's about the only negative. Youngest is 11 and about the only thing I'd do different (if I could) is make the gap between 4 and 5 shorter - it's 4 years which means it can be difficult getting family activities for all, eg cinema, holiday activities etc.

BrieAndChilli Thu 30-Mar-17 14:28:37

We have 3 age 10,8 and 6
We have 3 bedroom. 2 boys share and DD (middle child) has her own room.
We had a minder which fit the 3 seats across the back, we now have a zafira which is handy for when they all have friends over etc
They are close enough in age that they are into the same type of things - tv programmes, films, days out, actitivites etc.
Life is noisy, messy and full of washing but also full of fun.
I would love 1 more if we had the space and the money but I also think how the age gap would be too big and the 4th child would feel left out as the other would be teens and they would still be quite young

nettyhetty Thu 30-Mar-17 14:33:37

We have 3 (9,6,4) and had always thought we'd go for 4 but now we're there 3 seems the right number. Any more and I personally would feel too split in my attention etc, I know lots of others that manage this way better than me mind you!! I love that we're out of the nappy years and starting to do family adventure type holidays.
I found 3 manageable but I have 2 years between each so I only had short times where I had 2 of the 3 home all day. I think it makes for a fun and busy house and a nice little team to support each other as they get older. But everyone is different!

nettyhetty Thu 30-Mar-17 14:33:37

We have 3 (9,6,4) and had always thought we'd go for 4 but now we're there 3 seems the right number. Any more and I personally would feel too split in my attention etc, I know lots of others that manage this way better than me mind you!! I love that we're out of the nappy years and starting to do family adventure type holidays.
I found 3 manageable but I have 2 years between each so I only had short times where I had 2 of the 3 home all day. I think it makes for a fun and busy house and a nice little team to support each other as they get older. But everyone is different!

Needmorechocolate Fri 07-Apr-17 09:34:29

I have 4 and agree with shamoffour. Three is manageable but the jump to 4 is huge.

Things are designed for families of four (holidays, car etc) and you can usually squeeze in an extra child but two extra children is a whole different experience (and very expensive!).

Needmorechocolate Fri 07-Apr-17 09:36:17

Also meant to say we have 4 bedrooms. Two eldest share and two youngest share meaning we still have a spare room to fill with junk

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Fri 07-Apr-17 09:41:41

I have 11, with 6 still at home and the rest regular visitors! We have a rented 5 bed. . Ds 15 own room, ds 13 own room, 2xdd share and 2x ds share. . Only but that's does my head in is all the socks and shoes!! I had 3 under 3 more than once!! Sort out the sleeping and everything else is more than manageable!!

Redpramlady Fri 07-Apr-17 12:32:55

Following as on same position

Ds nearly 4 dd 2.5 and deciding on whether and when to go for a third but edging on going for it
Interesting points from you all

ruthieruthuk Mon 10-Apr-17 23:02:42

Im pregnant with my forth, 8wks, i currently have three boys, 3yrs, 2yrs and almost 11months, the house is mayhem at times esp feeding times and we live in a 4bed house so each child has his own room. We have a Vauxhall Zafira and use one or the very back seats as we cant fit a car seat in the middle so we don't have much boot space esp when the double Icandy is in, however we've bought a roof box which we use for holidays, we are looking at upgrading to something bigger later this year with the new baby on the way maybe a Hyundia i800 or a Mercedes Viana

FallenPetalsSummerDew Sat 15-Apr-17 23:00:17

I have 4. Eldest is DD 12, then DD 8, then twins DD and DS 6 (I had 3 under 2 for a very brief time and almost lost my mind! ;)).
We have a 3 bed, eldest daughters in one room and twins in another. Eldest daughters keep fighting though so thinking about putting DD8 in with the twins (is a big room!). Out of the baby stage and straight into moody preteen for us with DD12. Holiday activities have become easier and more varied though.

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