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Larger families

what's it like BEING one of three?

31 replies

LilaAndLenuccia · 02/03/2017 09:16

I'm curious about what it's like growing up one of three ir more siblings. There are lots of threads on here about parenting large families but what is it like growing up in one?

OP posts:
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MercuryRising · 02/03/2017 21:45

I am the eldest of three and love having a brother and sister. Growing up though it was often 2 ganging up on the other one. We are all close as adults and I have gone on to have 3 dc so it can't have been too traumatic.

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MercuryRising · 02/03/2017 21:45

I am the eldest of three and love having a brother and sister. Growing up though it was often 2 ganging up on the other one. We are all close as adults and I have gone on to have 3 dc so it can't have been too traumatic.

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DizzyDigestive · 06/03/2017 00:06

I'm the youngest of 3. There's 4 years between each of us, so we weren't extremely close growing up. I have things in common with each of them, but we don't very often get together all 3 of us unless its with our parents.
Being the youngest I found it fine growing up one of 3, but I know my middle sister often felt overlooked and my eldest sister felt pushed out sometimes.

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SellMySoulForSomeSleep · 06/03/2017 00:11

I'm a middle child of 3. Sister is 3 years older. Brother 5 years younger than me.
Brother was ganged up on a lot.
Sister now gets on better with brother as they are both adults. Didn't really like each other as kids.
I was always the peace keeper and got on ok with both.
But I loved being one of three. I always thought I wanted 3 kids but practicalities, age and money are against me.

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BackforGood · 06/03/2017 00:15

I was 3rd of 4.
Lots of squabbling growing up, but, as adults, very pleased to have my siblings.
Of course there wasn't as much money around I suppose as if I'd been an only, or one of two, but we never went hungry or anything. It was easier then as you just put all 4 of us across the back seat - this was before seatbelts, let alone car seats Grin

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AutumnRose1988 · 04/06/2017 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hermanfromguesswho · 04/06/2017 12:16

I'm the oldest of 4, one much younger so grew up with 3 of us at home. I loved it. Went on to have 3 myself

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Floralnomad · 04/06/2017 12:25

I'm youngest of 3 , eldest is 4 yrs older , middle is 17 months older. It's always really been a case of me and middle sister are best friends and older sister is a bit remote but that's because we have the same interests and she didn't more than it being an age thing . Was never a problem being 1 of 3 , we had a good income and standard of living . I would say oldest was over indulged ( for reasons that have become apparent in recent years) and middle is probably favourite although not obviously IYSWIM.

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Instasista · 04/06/2017 12:26

I would consider 3 normal, not large.

I like it. 2 friends for life. Big age gaps meant that we were more like 2+1 with my closest sibling and I hiving more of a fighty/ irritable relationship and a more chilled one with the youngest. It's great as an adult, always someone about

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Instasista · 04/06/2017 12:30

The only thing I would say- and I will
Say I wouldn't my youngest sibling for the world - is I think it tipped my parents over the edge in terms of what they could cope with an afford. Materially we suffered from
Being one of 3 (3 bed house, not big enough, old banger cars, no money for nice holidays) my parents struggled to engage with our school work and social lives being all at different stages. I was left to arrange extra curricular activities myself and the money wasn't usually available. No pocket money or money to mooch about in town. And my parents were by no means poor- they just massively underestimated.

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NewUserName01 · 04/06/2017 12:48

I'm #3 out of 4. Growing up it was fine, I enjoyed being part of a larger family. I was especially close to my brothers (#1 and #4) but never got on that well with my sister (#2) - not all out war just nothing in common.

We had a 3 bedroomed house (I shared a room with #4) and my parents slept in the study which could only just fit a double bed in. Thinking back it was a tight squeeze but I was never aware of it at the time.

Now we're all adults we have very little to do with each other. All my siblings have struggled with addictions / mental health issues. Our parents are now late 70s and need support (father in care home). However, I'm having to deal with all of this on my own with brother #1 intervening occasionally and making things 100x more difficult. I definitely would find everything easier without them.

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BubbleBed · 04/06/2017 12:50

I'm middle of three

And I vowed to never have three children.

I disliked it. And despite there only being two years difference between me and elder, and me and younger, we are not close. We get together at weddings and funerals. We like the odd photos on fb. That's it.

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MrsBobtonTrent · 04/06/2017 12:52

I didn't like being 1 of 3. One of us was always left out (usually me!). It was very competitive between us - to not be left out, to get a bedroom to yourself, to. It have to sit in the middle of the car (no window and uncomfortable bump on the seat). I will always endeavour to have an even number of children as a result. Not the end of the world, but we are not close probably as a result. I see them once a year if that, and don't have any contact in between.

But you get the number of children you get, so no point having a very fixed plan.

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BubbleBed · 04/06/2017 12:52

And yes, we had to share bedrooms. We had 3 bed houses. And being middle I ALWAYS shared. So never had any privacy. My kids now share, but with two of them and a two bed house, they are both in the same boat so there is no resentment. My elder sister had a lot of problems, we didn't get on even as young children.

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millifiori · 04/06/2017 12:54

It was fun (for me) having a brother and a sister.

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Oblomov17 · 04/06/2017 12:54

3 isn't big, these days. Quite standard. I am youngest of 3, it was fine.

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tinypop4 · 04/06/2017 12:56

I'm the youngest of 3- I have an older brother 4.5 years older and a sister 6 years older. I didn't like it as I was a bit too young to join in with them and they were close in age so could do stuff together. I spent a lot of time with my mum and dad. As an adult I really like having more than one sibling especially as our parents age

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harrietm87 · 04/06/2017 13:03

I am the eldest of 3. Brother and sister 18months younger, twins. I loved having 2 siblings close in age though it was so much work for our parents having 3 under 2! The dynamics between the 3 of us changed, often it was twins against me, or 2 girls against my bro, but as adults all 3 of us are close and I love having 2 siblings. DH also one of 3 and we're hoping to have 3 or 4 ourselves.

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DorotheaHomeAlone · 04/06/2017 13:05

Loved being one of three. A bit more chaotic and a lot more fun. Love having that extra sibling as an adult, too.

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ninnypoo · 04/06/2017 13:08

I'm the eldest of three but large age gap- there's 4 years between me and my brother and 10 between me and my sister (so when she was born we were 6 and 10 respectively) so fighting wise it was always like having one sibling as she was too young to get involved- though I think my brother has had sibling rivalry with both of us!

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Summerisdone · 04/06/2017 13:08

I'm the eldest of five.
Personally I love having so many sisters and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way in terms of how many of us there are.

I do sometimes wish we were closer in age as I'm 6 years older than the second, 13 years older than third and fourth and 17 years older than fifth. This is because I would often be left to babysit and be left responsible for them all due to being much older, also with the age gap it also meant we've always been at such different levels so our common interests were too vast and it's not as though I could 'hang out' with them when I was growing up in the same way I would with my friends and cousins.

Now I'm 27 and my older little sister is 21 though, it's great because we're finally on a similar level and we socialise all the time and have a great friendship, it's also becoming even better as the twins are now 14 so we're now at a stage where they sometimes like going out with me (such as cinema or out for food) and it feels like we're more on a friend's level than me being a chaperone for them having a day out.

I feel like I'll always be very close to the youngest also but in a more maternal way due to the age difference. I was only a year younger when DM had her than DM was having me (if that makes sense)

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LilaBard · 04/06/2017 13:09

I'm middle - older one 2 years difference, younger one 12 years. I love it. I am very close to both of them, although they are less close to each other as oldest moved away when youngest was around 7 or 8 and I stayed at home.

Dad is an only child and frankly a bit of a tosser for it (doesn't understand sibling relationships at all) Mum is one of the youngest of 10 - some she is very close with, others she doesn't speak to.

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LilaBard · 04/06/2017 13:10

Italics failure

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teenybean · 04/06/2017 13:18

I'm the middle of 3, & I wouldn't change it! There are two years between dsis & me, then two years between me & dbro, it was bloody hard at times growing up, it was always dsis & dbro against me, but as an adult dsis & I are very close, see each other at least once a week & she is my best friend, we are very very different though, her & dbro are very similar to our dad, look like him, act like him etc, but I'm not like any of them or even like my mum really! I get on with dbro, but disagree massively with a lot of what he does, & he is very difficult to get on with, so I see him very occasionally, but him & dsis are still close. Tbh, I think it's different for everyone, I know some people who even as adults hate being 1 of 3 (or more) & some that love it.

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mayoli · 04/06/2017 13:27

Oldest of six here- but very blended family so as a child I grew up with my full sister and my step brother, who are both the same age. I have a 3yr(ish) age gap with both of them.
I actually really loved it! I liked being The Sensible One as they were both very silly. I was an introvert and shy as a child and liked that I got the least attention from parents and was able to do my own thing because my younger siblings needed the attention. Not everyone would like this though. As we grew into teenagers/preteens, my sister and I fought like cat and dog but I grew very close to my step brother as we're very alike.

So far being an adult with siblings is the worst part! But for now I am the only 'adult'- I'm 19, full sister nearly 16, step brother 16, other step brother 15, step sister 17 and half brother 3. So the rest are still living with parents, going through exams etc, whereas I moved out at 16 and grew up very quickly due to circumstances. So it's a lot of being asked for things/money from four teenagers but I expect it'll change once they have their own established lives.

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