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Want a large family - any advice?

(13 Posts)
lemureyes Wed 08-Feb-17 21:39:06

I grew up surrounded by a large family (uncles, aunts and cousins) but my parents decided to only have 2 children.

It would be lovely to have a large family of my own but I was wondering if anybody had any advice? (what you would tell yourself before you had children)

malin100 Wed 08-Feb-17 21:41:15

I would say you might well change your mind on having more/how many once you have a child/children, so try to keep an open mind!

Ilovecaindingle Thu 09-Feb-17 09:54:47

I have 11 and often asked how I manage. . They go to bed is the answer!! So think on when you start multiplying to get the bedtimes sorted ASAP!!

quarkinstockcubes Sun 19-Feb-17 19:58:59

I really wanted a big family (7+) but dh said no more after no 4, which I'm now glad about! I wouldn't send any of mine back, but once they hit the teen years the parenting really has to step up a gear. One of mine has SEN which wasn't apparent until she was 5, so I dread to think how life would have been if I had another 3 dc. Sorry I realize this is not helpful....

Have you got the time/patience/energy/finances/space to deal with a large brood? For me in hindsight that would be the starting point.

lemureyes Mon 20-Feb-17 19:50:40

Thanks for the advice. I wanted to see what others thought once they had so many children before I made the decision myself. I have only just started a family so I will see how things pan out over the next 10 years or so. Plenty of time to decide.

My husband will probably sign himself up for a vasectomy when he thinks we have enough children. 😂

Heratnumber7 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:58:15

My advice would be to take it one child at a time. You might find you just dont "fall" easily, so best not set your sights on a particular number. t

yaela123 Sat 25-Feb-17 09:53:43

My advice would be to take it one child at a time.

I agree.

We only planned 4 but have ended up with 6 (accidental twins) and I love having a big family. I grew up with only one sister

I was 27 when I had my first which is quite old for a large family but then again I fall pregnant quite easily and this is different for everyone.

They have relatively big age gaps which has kept me slightly more sane except the last three are very close together. They are now 16, 14, 10, 6, 5, 5

All spontaneity goes out the window (especially since we don't have a car) but it is still crazy chaos most the time

You need to also think about practical and financial things. But don't let this stop you. Mine don't have all the latest gadgets that their friends do or the fancy holidays abroad every year but that doesn't mean they have less fun or less of a childhood iyswim.

(PS. camping is your friend)

Piggeligg Tue 07-Mar-17 14:34:05

Def agree take it one child at a time. I have 4 and after each child I swear I'll never have any more, until the point at which I catch myself thinking another would be nice....! Dc4 is now 2.3 and I've begun thinking that again:-0

I never thought I'd be a mum of 4 but here I am and I love it, although all the arguing and general noise does get to me at times!

I would say I am generally a busy person in that I don't like sitting down and am always doing something so I don't find the sheer work of 4dc too demanding. If you like lots of down time it might be harder.

Piggeligg Tue 07-Mar-17 14:38:32

From the POV of the DC I would say that it's swings and roundabouts.
They learn to be rounded caring people because they always have to be taking other people's wants and needs into account.

They can't really get bored as they always have someone around to play with.

Toddler siblings can be quite entertaining and cute, like a puppy!

But they obviously don't get as much parental attention as they would in a smaller family and unless money is no object they will of course have fewer material things and fewer holidays etc.

ohtheholidays Tue 07-Mar-17 21:59:00

We've got 5DC and we would have had more but I became ill so we couldn't have any more.

Like others have mentioned see how you both feel after you've had your first.

The best advice I could give is do the things that you want to do that would cost a fortune with a large family unless your loaded before you have the larger family,once you've started having children try not to sweat the small stuff and be organized.

We love having our 5DC and I couldn't imagine having a smaller family but were so used to the size of our family that we don't see it as a large family even though plenty of others do.
There's a few on my side of the family that have had 7DC so larger familys are what I'm used to.

Inarightpickleandchutney Tue 07-Mar-17 22:05:46

See now I'm the opposite end, I grew up with a big family and now have moved away and it's DH DD and me!
It's just not possible to have a grand plan and come whatever you stuck to it, so I'd
Just say, purely from a perspective thing, don't be too rigid in the plan, things change along the way and it's not always your decision, so I'd go for it and enjoy every minute!

lemureyes Thu 09-Mar-17 20:37:36

Thanks for all the advice! Our first baby is due in July so we have plenty of time to decide about family size in the coming years. I will very much be taking it one child at a time but I just wanted to see if anybody had advice for people before they started a family 😊

TinklyLittleLaugh Thu 09-Mar-17 20:48:13

We have four and have never really planned; it just sort of happened. We have three close together then a big gap to the fourth.

When the older ones were small we were always skint and moving house and having more kids than bedrooms. Three of them shared a room until my eldest was 8, then the two girls shared until they were 10 and 7. To be honest they were fine sharing though. When we moved to this house we actually had a spare bedroom for a few months, but then had DC4.

What I will say though is that having a gang of little kids is quite fun. But having a gang of teens nearly broke me.

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