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Do you ever feel like it's too much/too many?!

(12 Posts)
Corneliagoescamping Mon 26-Dec-16 13:45:36

Some days I love the chaos of a big family, and I love all my children individually so much but sometimes the endlessness and hard work make me feel trapped and totally, totally exhausted!! I often wonder how or why we decided to have so many! Hoping I'm not a totally horrible person...

Aoibhe Mon 26-Dec-16 18:47:45

Of course you're not. Parenting can be so overwhelming. How many do you have?

I have 3, which isn't exactly a big family, but I'll admit that I find it very demanding.

SVJAA Mon 26-Dec-16 18:48:37

We have 3 (and 2 DSDs) and it's hard going sometimes. The jump from 2 to 3 was a shock to the system!

SVJAA Mon 26-Dec-16 18:49:00

I wouldn't change it though. Although some days I feel like hiding in a cupboard.

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Mon 26-Dec-16 18:52:50

Cornelia I am with you

I adore my hoard of 5. I hear so many comments that I am mad or how do I cope etc and I'm constantly justifying our choice. This makes it hard to say yes, I was mad and no, sometimes I don't feel that I can cope.

I love each of my kids individually so much and also as a group - they interact so well and we are such a happy family - but it's fucking hard work!

As an aside - MIL ( and plenty of others) seems to think that love is finite and her love for her one child matches my love for my 5. WTF? Like I can't possibly love each child as much. Makes my blood boil!

Corneliagoescamping Mon 26-Dec-16 20:23:58

Yes I think that is the issue- I know that because we have more children than the majority of people (4, all small and close in age, one with serious additional needs and health issues) I don't like to say that sometimes it feels unmanageable. I feel so, so lucky to have them, but boy, some days it is like running back to back marathons. Partly because I make it harder than it could be by trying to keep everything ordered and tidy, keep fit, cook etc but also just because there is often not a single second in the day when something doesn't need doing or someone doesn't want or need me. Sometimes I'm just soooo tired!

Buttwing Mon 26-Dec-16 21:50:38

I've got four too and also two step children who spend a fair bit of time with us. Sometimes I literally cannot speak as I'm so knackered. I think this time of year can be fabulous with a big family but it's also bloody hard work. The bickering and arguing get to me especially when they've got a mountain of new toys to play with!
Mine are 23,19,11,6,3 and 2 plus 10 month old grandson, how old are yours? My last two are 13 months apart so I know how you feel with small age gaps it really really hard especially if they are little.

Herschellmum Mon 26-Dec-16 21:57:02

I "only" have 4, aged between 7 and 2, two with additional needs.

I struggle, I'm exhausted, I love them all to bits and can't imagine life without all of them in it, but I do find it hard. There are times it's easier and times it's harder. I'm struggling myself a lot right now, I feel quite alone and lonely which makes the it feel even more difficult at times.

I think no matter how many you have that sometimes it gets hard. But then there are so many awesome times too, so overall i wouldn't want it any other way.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 29-Dec-16 14:31:10

I have 11.
6 full time.
Roll on back to school is all I have to say.

bearsnumberonefan Fri 30-Dec-16 16:43:29

I have 4 and a dsc, I love them all completely and love the chaos and madness but yeah there are times I just want to walk out the door and run away. I don't think that makes me or you a bad mum, it makes us human. And I don't think it is exclusive to large families either. My eldest was an only till she was 5 and that was incredibly hard work as she was so demanding do attention. Having two well they still fight and can still be hard work. It's just parenting.

FATEdestiny Fri 30-Dec-16 16:57:57

It gets easier once they are older.

Mine are 12, 11, 7 and 2. The eldest two don't need as much hands-on parenting. My 7 and 2 year old still need constant looking after, I can only imagine the hard graft if all four were under 10.

My best friend has a 12 and 11 year old (we were both bonkers enough to try for a one year age-gap) the same genders as mine, but she stopped there. I do sometimes look at her tranquil, calm, grown-up life and feel a bit envious.

But I love our big family. I only love it because:

- my husband puts me first and we are a team.
- I'm a SAHM. I really couldn't do this and work.
- my Mum is local, loves having the grandkids and is a hands-on grandparent (DH and I went out for child-free breakfast today, for example)
- I'm a bit anal in how organised and planned I like life to be. I could not cope with chaos.

yaela123 Sun 01-Jan-17 17:24:00

I have 6, age 16, 14, 10, 6, 5, 5 (DTs). The oldest is a boy and the rest girls. It is always chaotic and noisy they do my head all the time but I wouldn't have it any other way.

The older three are quite spread out and could help quite a bit by the time the three little ones came along. We only planned 4 and the twins were very unexpected so having 3 DDs under the age of two was very hard but now they are older it has defo got a lot easier. They are very close now, almost like triplets.

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