Favourite child??(6 Posts)
I have 5 children 10year old, 3year old and 6month old triplets.
I love every one of them the same and try my hardest to give each of them the same amount of individual attention. They are beautiful all so different in looks and personality.
My problem is that one of my triplets is like no other baby Iv see she has the biggest blue eyes, very striking. Honestly she looks like she should be modelling in a catalog. When people see her they completely ignore my other children. It's everyone family, friends people on the streets. I understand she is beautiful but how can people be push my other kids aside??
Most people come in my house and go straight to her don't even say hi to the rest of them. My oldest gets so upset she is such a cuddly girl and family members have stopped hugging her soon as they get in the door so they can get to my little one quicker
(Angry) few nights ago my cousin said to my face "thankfully you have her to make up for the ugly one!" I have never been so angry I asked her twice what she meant and she kept saying "it's true the others aren't as cute"
I chucked her out and will never speak to her again
Has anyone ever had similar problems I don't know how to deal with this
I can't believe this I've never had an experience like it myself. Actually shocked.
I have 2 cousins who had lived through the same. My aunt did her best to even things out for them but the comments of people like your cousin, really ruined the relationship between them and condemned my "not that beautiful" cousin to a life of being put down as the ugly duckling even when she is beautiful herself.
I really think that chucking your cousin out is not the way to go, your girls will be receiving this sort of comments through out their lives. It is about ensuring they both feel beautiful, are considerate to each other and really treasure each other so these comments have no effect on them.
I was the good looking sister my little sister was very cute chubby redhead with rosy cheeks lovely little thing but I was always very very pretty as a child (I evened out as I got older) striking I think would be the best word my sister really felt the difference in how we were treated it was awful for her. She's very good looking as an adult but covers herself in make up to look her 'best' when she doesn't need too it's a real shame. It also made me very vein as a child because people constantly told me how pretty I was not to mention the anguish at suddenly becoming an awkward spotty teen!
I would pull anyone that done similar to my kids aside it can really do harm.
One of my DSDs has always been the pretty one in their mother's eyes, and told them both so. The "not pretty" one is doing fine mostly as she's put her efforts into her studies. The pretty one spends huge amounts of time and effort on her appearance and is very insecure. She's not finding teenage acne easy either. It's done neither of them any favours to be typecast in this way so you're right to stamp down on people making comments.
At six months a lot could change though so your "beautiful" one may not always stand out.
I'm actually shocked she was so rude. I would gently explain to her why eg potentially damaging to the other Dcs self esteem and shallow , in case she didn't understand and thought you were touchy or something. Unbelievable.
I do empathise as have a slightly similar situation and am particularly careful to give our more sensitive DC extra thought and to build her up as I notice ours can be treated differently too. But I am fairly confident it'll be ok as they have strong security in us
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