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Coping with a big family/ work and teenagers.

(8 Posts)
Babyroobs Wed 05-Oct-16 23:18:05

I'm interested to know how many mums of four go out to work and what coping strategies you use? I have always worked part time but just recently I seem to be struggling more than ever. I thought as the kids got older ( now between 17 and 11) things would get easier but they just seem to get harder. It may just be that I am pushing 50 and possibly pre menopausal but I am struggling. i do shift work mainly nights/ weekends and it is exhausting. When I am at home it just seems to be an endless round of laundry and housework. The house is messy and a dirty which stresses me but I just don't have the energy to sort it. On top of that there is a endless round of lifts/ after school activities/ orthodontic appointments/ Uni open days/ careers fairs etc etc. I have already reduced my days at work to 3 and they won't let me drop any more.
My dh is very good at doing his share but he is not in the best of health and spends all his weekends ferrying the kids around and never gets a break. I'm reluctant to ask the kids to do more around the house, the eldest has a part time job and in final Alevel year, ds2 is doing his GCSE's.
How do others cope? I feel like I'm sinking. I'm snappy and irritable .I feel like the only option is to give up my job but then money would be an added stress

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 06-Oct-16 14:40:59

Similar stress!
4 under 11
4 over 11 i work 4 days and dh only works 1 day a week.
The teens do bugger all tbh.
The younger ones help dh with the clothes but that's about it.
My day off with 2yo is bloody housework and I am fed up also!
I am a cleaner but never have time to do my own!
We blitz either sat /sun and muddle through the rest of the week with dh keeping on top of things. Lists are useful and kids do help given a list.

MoomooMummy01 Thu 20-Oct-16 17:11:16

I currently work part time (17hrs per week, school hours and term time so no need for childcare!) I have 3 children (DD10, DS7 and DD5) and it's exhausting...I've no idea how people work more! The house is the pits as we are so taken up with after school clubs, homework, projects etc etc! We are pondering a 4th child but I would need to give up work or else the balance would be totally off for us!!

unicornsarenotjustforchristmas Fri 21-Oct-16 19:25:46

I've got 4 - 12,7,4 and 9months.
I work 34hrs a week, mon-fri. Dh works 30 hrs a week mon-fri. We have a little routine, I get the kids up, dressed, fed and I also put the washing machine on. Dh then gets up, I go to work. He puts the dishwasher on, puts laundry into tumble dryer and gets the kids to childminder/school. He then picks the kids up, empties the dishwasher and tumble dryer, does reading book and homework. I come home, I make dinner, we all have a lovely catch up, then I do baths and he sweeps up. We alternate who puts the kids to bed and the other folds and puts away the laundry. I then walk the dog. And we collapse into bed ready for the next day. Housework such as bed changes, dusting etc, are saved for the weekend. It's busy but we cope just fine

AnnaForbes Fri 21-Oct-16 19:36:02

I have 3 dcs, 9 - 16. I'm 50. I run my own business with dh. I'm knackered all the time. I stumble from day to day and either collapse into bed when the youngest ones are settled or i stay up and fall asleep in front of the TV. I also have a dog which requires walking and an elderly widowed mother who lives close by (I'm only local one so more responsibilty there). Housework done as and when which means rarely . I was up before 6 this morning and just cooking dinner now.

No advice but sympathy and understanding. <proffers hand>

Wine gets me through.

RandomMess Fri 21-Oct-16 19:41:06

4DC but the eldest has just moved out so now 3 aged 11-14.

DH works from home 30 hours per week
I work v. locally 35 hours per week.

I do lots of taxi duties in the evenings.
Internet food shop
Basic meals
House is not particularly clean
Very rarely have friends/family over or even go out...
Dog doesn't always get walked sad

christmaswreaths Sun 13-Nov-16 10:36:33

We have 4 children under 12, the youngest is 7. Both Dh and I work in full time corporate jobs. We are both exhausted. We've had nannies and after school nannies, which has been great, bur the last one is leaving at Christmas and the idea of starting again to find someone else makes me squirm.

Only saving grace for us is that we both have and do work from home regularly, so it is easier to juggle stuff, but I really don't know how we do it! We have zero family support. I don't know anyone in the same boat as us!!

I envisage I will probably end up giving up my job at some point, but I say that every year and then never have the guts to do it!

mummytofour Tue 15-Nov-16 01:41:46

I totally agree that once they are teens the workload has increased for us. In our case we have added issues with teens having mental health issues. This means ongoing trips to appointments and extra support.

I only work 2hrs a day but considering giving up as everything is suffering but mainly me!

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