Trips out

[Hadagutsful]

I've managed to negotiate 3 trips out this week with my 3 DS who are aged 6, 4 and 2. The trips have all been varying degrees of success/failures but today we braved a soft play as I needed a morning of being able to relax (to an extent). I really felt like people were looking at us and judging me for having 3 DC hanging off me. They're not badly behaved, but they are spirited and they were excited so they were bouncing around a bit. 2yo had a meltdown when it was time to go home which attracted some "looks".

I'm frequently told things like "I don't know how you manage" and "gosh you've got your work cut out for you" and today's gem "they are a bit of a handful".

Can anyone relate to this and does it make you feel a bit indignant?

[Brankolium]

I get "ooh you've got your hands full" wherever I go, but the comments come even when they are behaving like little angels so I think people just like to say something.

And of course I do have my hands full so I usually reply "YEP!" and grin like a maniac as I run past them chasing my children.

[PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass]

I have 3, it's not a larger family.

[Hadagutsful]

PaintedDrives, I wasn't sure what constituted a larger family but saw other posts talking about families with 3 DC on this board so thought I'd be welcome posting here. Thanks for clearing that up though. What is the magic number?

Brankolium, yes that's my usual response too.

[Hadagutsful]

PaintedDrives, I wasn't sure what constituted a larger family but saw other posts on this board talking about families with 3 DC so thought I'd be welcome posting here. Thanks for clearing that up though. What is the magic number?

Brankolium, yes that's my usual response too.

[mouldycheesefan]

Really? I have plenty of friends with 3,4 or 5 children and nobody bats an eyelid! 3 kids is very normal. Could the comment at the soft play " you have your hands full" be related to the, ahem, "spirited" children rather than the number of them? Could it have been a sympathetic comment from one parent to another? I wouldn't worry too much about " looks". People may turn around if they hear a kid having a meltdown, I wouldn't take it in a negative way. I can't imagine that having three children draws that much attention to make you feel indignant but clearly it is upsetting you. 💐

[Hadagutsful]

Thanks, I'm sure you're right. I wouldn't call us unusual in the number of our children, but it doesn't seem to be the case (round here anyway) that adults go out "outnumbered". There always seem to be hangers-on, helping out. I don't know why I feel defensive about it today, particularly. Probably just jealous that I didn't have any hangers-on of my own.

[Missgraeme]

I took 8 of my 11 to York maze last week end. Well used to feeling like a freak and doesn't bother me anymore!! As long as they aren't behaving like a load of delinquents u should feel proud!!

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I have 3 all boys and teenagers now, with your age gaps. I guess I did get a couple of comments but not not overly. I do remember getting "are they all yours?" and being surprised as there were only ?!

But most of my friends and the groups we used to hang out with - school, nursery friends - mainly had 3 children, and some had four, so we weren't unusual.

Just ignore. Or chat. People often say anything as a conversation starter.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

..only 3...

[lifeofdino]

There always seem to be hangers-on,helping out. My hangers on tend to bring their own children with them, since a lot of my friends have 3,4 or 5 children we often end up with an even bigger group.

I do think you just get used to it over time, (not sure how many DC you have to have before you are eligible to be considered a larger family) but I feel far less conspicuous now than the first few times that I took them all out at once.

[AliBingo]

I have a 4, 2 year and a 10 month old and we get the comment loads of "you've got your hands full".All the time. I think it's just a conversation starter and it doesn't bother me at all but it's amazing how often we hear that.

[Buttwing]

I think sometime the comments are due to having smaller age gaps. Three close together somehow than four more spaced out!

[onecurrantbun1]

I have 3 under 5 and get the "hands full" comments a lot - yes, I do! I think it's just one of those things people say.

You are a maniac for attempting soft play in school holidays. I love my days and trips out with kids but goodness me, soft play is reserved for horrendous rain that's gone on for weeks as I certainly don't consider it a break!

[calamityjam]

I used to get this a lot. We have a blended family of 5. When dp and I got together we had a 10, 8, 6,4 and a baby. Dp would mostly work 7 days a week so it was me and 5 dc's 10 and under. I was lucky that they behaved well mostly but I always got the comments of "How do you cope?" etc. However we spent our summers in Spain, which was lovely as we always got lovely comments, such as "How lucky are you to have such a big family." The Spanish seem to class large families as a blessing and cater very well when eating out etc.

[Zippidydoodah]

I have the same comments (3, same ages as yours op) I do what a pp said and just agree! I was very offended when smallest was a baby though, and I had her in a sling whilst pushing a double buggy; old woman looked at us open mouthed, and literally gasped in shock. I really felt like taking her out with the buggy! 😈

[AliBingo]

Someone I've known for a few months now asked me yesterday if DS was my nephew; wtf?! Then was utterly shocked that I had three kids.