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Am I doing the right thing? No more DC.

(3 Posts)
SeymourButtz Fri 15-Jul-16 13:52:44

I think I need some advice/reassurance mumsnet style ass - kicking.
I try and be brief but don't want to leave out anything relevant.
I have 5DC, 4 aged 13 -6 with stbxh and 10 month old with DP.
We've decided no more DC and DP even wants the snip. Although money is a factor, even if we came up with the euromillions, other things such as giving all the DC enough attention, health (pregnancy and labour were both a tad tough) and actually having time together as we currently work opposite each other to reduce childcare needs etc all mean we think it is best to stop at 5.
Youngest is DP's only biological child but he is a fantastic stepfather /role model, older DC adore him and he treats them very much as his own. My concern is that there is a 5 year gap between the youngest two and that when DD grows up she will feel left out /lonely. Her old siblings dote on her but I only had two year gaps between the others and they are (for now) very close. Am I being ridiculous? I think I am but it's a real nagging doubt in my mind. There's a child who is permanently knocking for my DS's to play as he only has much older (late teens and twenties) siblings, no problem and he is always welcome but it feeds my doubts about DD and not giving her a sibling closer in age. I guess in a long winded way (apologies and brew wine on me) I'm asking for people who have had bigger gaps and those who have had children with new DP if they feel their younger children have felt left out or lonely.

NapQueen Fri 15-Jul-16 14:00:46

I really wouldn't let that override your desire to stop making babies.

She has a 5 year gap. That's nothing in the grand scheme of things and as they grow it will become smaller.

My sister and I had 7 years between us and we are now so incredibly close (24 and 31), and whilst we weren't bosom buddies as kids we got on great till we hit the 9-10/16-17 window and that only lasted a short while. We each developed brilliant friendships outside of the family and both of us have a core group of friends we see regularly and speak to pretty much daily who we've known since we were each about 11.

Neither of us feels we missed out in any way by not being close in age.

5 kids is rough! You both want to stop!

So do.

SeymourButtz Fri 15-Jul-16 14:35:34

Thanks NapQueen, I think I'm wobbling because it's been a considered, thought out rational decision rather than a heartfelt "we are complete" type thing iyswim. I'm just going to enjoy what we have. I certainly didn't think I'd even meet anyone after splitting with my ex, and was happy to remain steadfastly single. So meeting the great guy I did and then having our beautiful DD is great. I shall quit while I'm ahead and able to laugh relatively hard without peeing myself.

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