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why did you have three children?

(48 Posts)
Theknittinggorilla Fri 01-Jul-16 08:29:58

We are ttc number 3 after much talk of whether it is a good idea or not. I've been very keen for a third, my dh less so. In the end we have made the decision to try as my desire for another is much stronger than his desire not to.

His reasons for sticking at two are very sensible - easier life (cars holidays etc), cheaper, life has got easier (youngest is 16 months) so a reluctance to go back to sleepless nights etc, not being outnumbered!

My reasons for a third are pretty much just that I really really want one and I struggle to give any more tangible reason than that!

So I'm interested in what were your reasons for going for the third child?

Duckstar Fri 01-Jul-16 08:35:48

Family didn't feel complete. Could afford it and still keep lifestyle we like. One of three myself and love it.

Also, DH one of two. Other brother useless. DH left responsible for needy inlaws. While I hope I wouldn't be like inlaws I felt if there is three if one is useless then the other two have each other - the insurance policy baby wink

Goingtobeawesome Fri 01-Jul-16 08:37:21

Because I'm an idiot.

PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass Fri 01-Jul-16 08:38:18

3 isn't a larger family surely? I had 3 because my family wasn't complete with just two. Part of me thinks 4 would have been easier tbh.

Kim82 Fri 01-Jul-16 08:38:23

We had number 3 as my elder two were from a previous relationship, Dh didn't have any children of his own and we both wanted another one. Number 4 was a contraception failure but adored completely by the entire family and our family feels complete now.

chartmc Fri 01-Jul-16 08:38:26

i have 3! my older 2 are 9&7 now.. and i was a young mum..(18 with my first) they were both at school full time, work was going well.. house was sorted and then we decided to have another.. i think probably because we were "totally mad" had to rewind 6 years and start over. lol. i wouldnt change a thing though. my older 2 absolutely love there little sister.. our new house (old one was too small).. new car.. (old one was too small).. and i am a stay at home mum now.. but i love it. and i wouldnt change a thing! good luck! xxx

Tiggeryoubastard Fri 01-Jul-16 08:38:39

Celebrating without a condom (was breastfeeding a 3 month old) when husband returned from a deployment. grin
Actually probably would have had another a couple of years later. 3 does seem the oerfect number.

Daytona79 Fri 01-Jul-16 08:39:13

Place marking as this is something I'm thinking too, stick at 2 or go for 3

Zippidydoodah Fri 01-Jul-16 09:35:15

No idea.

(OK, I've had a bad morning!! It's fucking hard work- and I know I'm posting this on a forum full of people for whom three isn't a large family!! How do you do it?!)

Anyway....I didn't feel "done", our family didn't feel complete, we needed more chaos in our lives (lol).

It's awesome and I love my little gang- even considering a fourth on good days!! I returned to work and had to quit though, as I couldn't manage it all. Oh and the LAUNDRY..........

Blueskies80 Fri 01-Jul-16 18:48:10

I am nearly 10 weeks with no 3. Have had MCs last year so still too early to know what will happen. Am a little apprehensive but oldest will be in y1, age 5.5 and second in school nursery, will be nearly 4 when this one arrives. Bit worried that this one will be on its own and one of them will be left out, but I don't think we could go for a 4th. This will be 9 years since we started trying due to quite a few years of infertility and miscarriages along the way, I am ready to move on.

AndNowItsSeven Fri 01-Jul-16 18:53:03

Because we wanted another child, three isn't a " larger family" though.

alltouchedout Fri 01-Jul-16 18:56:33

We weren't ttc, the pill failed. And once I knew ds3 was there (well dc3 at the time, obviously we didn't know he was a he!) I wanted him and loved him and that was that.

CodyKing Fri 01-Jul-16 18:57:31

I have twins.

The world isn't bade for a family of 5 ... all geared towards 2 kids. Tickets, holiday let's, hotel rooms food packaging. Everything!!

Out2pasture Fri 01-Jul-16 18:59:23

Because I was fertile and my IUD failed (cute little copper coil). Opted for a tubal ligation with the c/s delivery.
I had 3 under 3 sad

Monkeyfeet12 Fri 01-Jul-16 19:05:35

Had three in three and a half years. All by accident hmm Totally mental at the time, very hard work, but lovely, all knew the same friends at school, all fairly close, all have pretty much the same interests. Now they're late teens, all the hard work is done and they're generally a pleasure.

Holidays expensive, big car, loads of washing, days/meals out cost a fortune etc.

Would I swap it? No, probably not.

FaFoutis Fri 01-Jul-16 19:06:17

It didn't feel like 2 was enough.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 01-Jul-16 19:09:29

3 isn't 'larger family'

poocatcherchampion Fri 01-Jul-16 19:12:04

Cute faces.

We always wanted at least 3 so we just kept on going. My womb is fucked now so that decision has been made.

danTDM Fri 01-Jul-16 19:14:59

three does not appeal. I was one of three and it was awful. Parents definitely had overstretched themselves. Two is good, count your blessings with the babies you have!

But if you want to and can afford it and are sure you can cope and everyone is keen!...

autumnboys Fri 01-Jul-16 19:16:43

I thought we'd have two, but we didn't feel done. So after a few years of dithering we had our third. He is a delight.

It is true though that the world is set up for 2 adults & 2 children.

dogdrifts Fri 01-Jul-16 19:18:02

Not really planned. Not really unplanned. Have always had a 'whatever will be, will be' attitude to family size. Until dc3 suffered a birth injury. The trauma of dealing with a brain damaged infant sent dh off for the snip within 3 months of birth. Not so blasé now. grin

Other comments about the sheer logistical nightmare of trying to book holidays with 3 kids apply. I would actually have had a fourth (I did float the idea of a vasectomy reversal with dh at one point) but he suspected I was having some sort of breakdown, so we didn't go any further with that idea...

Dc3's birth injury undoubtedly changed the course of our parenting the other two, despite our best attempts not to. Without the benefit of many years of hindsight, it would have been impossible to say whether we would have deliberately opted for dc3 knowing the outcome. (She is an absolute rock star. But five years of slog and tears isn't something you step into lightly, with no guarantees as to outcome).

I'm still largely 'whatever will be, will be' but at the time we could not have coped with a fourth child.

HerRoyalFattyness Fri 01-Jul-16 19:21:47

My pill failed. As soon as I found out I knew I would keep the baby. He's now a very chunky very happy 11 month old and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

I'm now on the implant. I would live more children now. (Despite being adamant I only ever wanted 2) but it will be years before I do. I need to start my career (unexpected pregnancy held me back) and I suffered from very severe SPD and am still in pain now because of it. I also need to lose the baby weight (and more) and I'm petrified of having another beast. (Youngest was 10lb 10.5oz) I'm thinking 6-9 years (2-3 inplants) and we will see where life takes us then. Maybe we'll have more, maybe we'll stick with 3.

regularbutpanickingabit Fri 01-Jul-16 19:25:33

There was always someone missing. Now there isn't!

weegiemum Fri 01-Jul-16 19:29:40

Mirena failure!

But wouldn't be without her.

LiveLifeWithPassion Fri 01-Jul-16 19:30:57

Three is more fun. Being from a large family, two was always a bit too tame for me. I needed a bit more chaos.
I wouldn't have more than 3.
I can just about cope with all the hw, activities and meltdowns with 3.
I haven't found any issues with 3. Family tickets for events often have an option of 3 kids (and usually no biggie if they don't) and I prefer self catering or villas for holidays.
3 still fit comfortably in the back of a car too.

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