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Can't decide on #3

(5 Posts)
sparkle789 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:51:23

I need some advice. Dh and I have 2 Dc (9 & 3) we both want another.

We have been unable to stick to a decision either way for months now and it's driving me nuts.

Money worries me, although dh has now been promoted and in a year or so we will be comfortable for money, in the past we have really struggled and I'm worried a third child will put to much pressure on finances.

We live in a 2 bed house. We're going to extend the 2nd bedroom and it will be pretty big so will be fine for 3, if the next is a boy we'd have to move sooner than we are planning to.
I have had quite bad depression and anxiety in the past, although I'm stable now and just have the odd bad patch (which still isn't as bad as I used to be) I'm worried about the impact a 3rd will have on my MH. I also find the toddler years quite difficult and although it's not that long in a child's life I don't know how I'd cope again.

But despite all my worries, I desperately want another child. Dh wants one but has said he wants to do what's best for our family and is ok if we don't have any more. Some days another feels so right, and other days it doesn't.
If we do ttc I want to now as I don't want another large age gap.
How are we supposed to decide?
If anyone can offer any advice is appreciate it!

Shortninbread Tue 07-Jun-16 20:04:19

Hi sparkle, sounds like you're not done yet. Have you kept baby stuff from your 3 year old? That's a good indicator of your true instinct I reckon! That said, I have a friend who got rid of everything only to buy it all again for a planned DC3!

Great that your DH is on board. Money and space will get sorted out one way or another. Children don't really cost much for first years, in my experience. Which is when you said finances will be easier. Plus there are so many ways to keep costs down - second-hand hardly used baby things etc.

I'm 15 weeks preg with our DC3. Like you we um-ed and ah-ed but deep down I always felt I really wanted one. My DH was more reluctant.

Putting DC1 and 2 to bed tonight I was thinking how much harder work it will be with a third. But then I think the older DCs will be good for helping and entertaining during toddler years.

Good luck!smile

sparkle789 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:05:42

Thanks for the reply. Yes we kept the big stuff, and I can't bring Myself to get rid of it.

We're going to go for it smile I am still anxious about it and how it will change our family dynamic, but I am also excited for our future.

sparkle789 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:06:22

Posted to soon...

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Shortninbread Sat 11-Jun-16 11:03:45

Good for you! You won't regret it. Good luck with it all. grin

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