What's more difficult?(16 Posts)
Going from 0-1, 1-2, 2-3 or 3+? And what are the main difficulties?
I have 2 but feel like I want a large family, I thought going from 1-2 was miles easier than my first child but see so many people saying 3 is different. I'm one of 3 myself.
Is the worst part financial? Or lack of freedom (no-one wanting to babysit so many children)? Lack of sleep? Too many wanting your attention? I'm weighing up the pros and cons of going for the third....
What about anyone who has a higher number (6,7,etc), did it still keep getting harder or did they just fit into your current routine?
I have 4. Going from 0 to 1 was the hardest for me. By the time DC4 came along it was an absolute doddle. Having lots of little ones was a blast.
The worst thing for me has been having three teenagers at once. It was a very shouty time. (Mind you, I just don't think I'm great with teenagers). Now the eldest two are off at Uni our house is an oasis of calm.
I have seven , one , two and three were all a easy, when I had four I felt like I had a large family but it wasn't particularly hard. Then five and six ( twins) just slotted in as did number seven.
Having five DC in four years was a bit of a whirl wind but I love how close they are and the older two adore the little ones.
Financial is fine for us , we are not materialistic we pass on clothes and toys, have two one week holidays a year and a couple of short breaks. All uk based Haven or two premier in rooms for example.
The DC won't go abroad unless with school although we may try Eurocamp in a couple of years.
We have six between us and a stepson. I found 3-4 hard just in terms of practicalities.
I have 4 boys. 0 - 1 was the hardest for me in terms of adjusting to lifestyle changes. 3 - 4 was hard in terms of practical things - not fitting in a normal car, booking accommodation on holiday etc. "Family" tickets are never for our family!
When they were little (I had 4 under 5) the hardest thing was the competing for attention and never having time to myself and getting everyone organised to leave the house.
Now they're teens and pre-teens the hardest thing is co-ordinating all their extra-curricular activities. I seem to spend my whole life in the car! That and keeping enough food in the house!
All totally worth it though - I love having 4!
I have four and I found 3-4 really hard but I think it was because I had a really small age gap (13 months) also after 3 really good sleepers dc4 was a nightmare so a combination of those things plus having three under four nearly finished me off!
I found my first really hard coz I didn't have a clue. I found the first few months of having two hard coz there was no break, 2 kids, 2 parents so at best it was one each where before I might have had some me time. But we soon got used to 2.
I found going from 2-3 brilliant. Stressful at time, tiring with lack of sleep, breastfeeding etc but just so so much easier. So much so I think we might go again!
0-1 was hardest for me. I was quite young and didn't have much support. I was much more relaxed with DC2 and 3.
0 to 1 was hard but soon settled into it (by about 3 months). 1 to 2 easy peaty. 2 to 3 is still hard 3 years on and I won't be trying 3 to 4!! But partly depends on personality imo!
I would say 0-1 was hard but hard isn't really the right word. It was more adjusting to having that extra little person o stead of just yourself to get sorted and you can't just up and go out. 1-2 & 2-3 I loved. Although 2-3 was had a little bit of juggling as 3 was the only one I'd managed to successfully breastfeed and obviously couldn't just hand her over to someone to feed if I was pre occupied with other 2.
I'm due no.4 in just under 9 weeks and very much looking forward from going 3-4
I only have 3 but am expecting 4th soon.
My theory is everyone has one difficult transition. I found 0-1 a doddle and couldn't work out what all the fuss was about. 1-2 was hard. Suddenly needed to be in 2 places at once etc. 2-3 easy although difficult times for totally unrelated reasons.
Looking forward to 3-4!
2 to 3 was hardest for me (but I gave up work by the time I went 3 to 4, which helped).
2 to 3 you're suddenly always outnumbered & boy do you know it.
Lack of freedom & needing a bigger car was the hardest thing for me. Childcare groups (& residential trips etc) have behaviour codes & if your child is a PITA, then you can't get any childcare or other respite.
At the time I thought 0-1 was hard, looking back it was all very easy, DC1 was a good sleeper early on. 1-2 was very hard.
2-3 was nice and easy, possibly helped by the fact that there was only 18 months between DC2 and 3 so for a long time they were both contained when we went out. DC1 was only just 4 so the only thing to worry about was the school run and the odd play date.
3-4 was harder for me, the older 3 were all past the pushchair stage but DC3 was still at the tricky unpredictable running off stage. DC1 had clubs and homework to sort out and DH was working very long hours.
I think 1 -2 was the hardest 2-3 was a doddle dc3 just sort of fell into the routine we already had with 1&2
The hardest thing is not the number of children, it's the extended time of parenting.
Some around you will have had their first child and stopped at that.
I went on and had more children which took a few more years.
Friends with fewer children were sooner to get toddler off to school, teens not needing a babysitter, and then growing them to 18+.
That said, I don't regret it, but it's a long, long, long term commitment. I didn't know the teenagers would be so exhausting either and my level of energy would drop so much with age. I do get tired more easily nowadays!
I have only got 3.
Found that 0-1 was a dream, 1-2 was hard and 2-3 much easier.
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